The JWL- Episode 68

UMANOSUKE UEDA 1940-2011

AUNT KITTY BURKE 1926-2012

SAVANNAH JACK 1948-2012

Dark Match: The Shane Twins (Mike and Todd, w/Ron Niemi) d. Jeff Bradley and Chase Stevens after a double Rock Bottom.

ODB defeated Veronika Vice with the Dirty Dozen and the Thesz Press from the top turnbuckle.

Tyson Kidd and Natalya Neidhart (w/David Hart Smith) d. Jimmy Uso and Tamina (w/Jey Uso) after Natalya forced Tamina to submit to the Sharpshooter.

Live from the Freeman Coliseum in San Antonio, TX on the USA Network

You know the drill.

We do ten-bell counts for Umanosuke Ueda, Kitty Burke and Savannah Jack. R.I.P.

KABOOM!

The JWL World Heavyweight Champion KANE power walks down to the ring, scaring off announcer Lillian Garcia.

KANE: I AM THE JWL WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION AND I AM STILL UNDEFEATED IN SINGLES COMPETITION! I DEMAND THAT SOMEONE COME OUT HERE AND ACCEPT MY CHALLENGE FOR THE MAIN EVENT TONIGHT AND I WILL NOT LEAVE THE RING UNTIL SOMEONE DOES!

(Head Like a Hole by nine inch nails plays, bringing out Crowbar.)

CROWBAR: I am probably crazy to do this, but I accept your challenge.

Kane sets off the pyro to celebrate.

(Video package covering the feud between the former Hardcore Alliance and the Royals.)

Opening match: 2 Cold Scorpio vs. Randy Orton (w/Jerry "The King" Lawler)

LG: The following contest is scheduled for one fall.

("Burn in the Light" plays)

Crowd boos.

LG: Introducing first, being led to the ring by Jerry 'The King' Lawler and representing the Royals, from St. Louis, MO, RANDY ORTON!

The heels enter the ring. Lawler takes the microphone and insults everyone in the audience, making sure to brag about how the Memphis Grizzlies eliminated the San Antonio Spurs from the First Round of the 2011 NBA Western Conference playoffs while Orton poses.

[AUTHOR’S NOTE: I am not a basketball fan and looked up the Spurs on Wikipedia to see if there was something Lawler could use against the San Antonio fans and I found that the Grizzlies eliminated the Spurs from the playoffs, which was perfect.]

("Jungle Boogie" plays)

LG: And his opponent, from Denver, CO, 2 COLD SCORPIO!

Crowd cheers.

Scorpio and Orton lock up and we get a solid match filled with technical wrestling and Scorpio working in various aerial moves to keep Orton off guard. Both guys get 2-counts on each other. Scorpio gets control and gives Orton a leg lariat and signals for the 450 Splash. Scorpio goes up but Orton rolls out to the floor, drawing boos. Of course, Orton still is not safe, since Scorpio dives on to him on the floor to a big pop! Scorpio rolls Orton back into the ring and follows him in and gives Orton a DDT to keep him down. Scorpio signals for the 450 but Lawler distracts referee Charles Robinson. This allows Christian to come out from under the ring and throw water in Orton's face to revive him. Scorpio is about to hit the 450 when the revived Orton runs into the ropes and knocks Scorpio down to the mat. Lawler redirects Robinson's attention as Scorpio starts to slowly get up and Orton gives him the RKO out of nowhere for the pin at 8:00!

LG: Here is your winner, RANDY ORTON!

The crowd boos. Orton poses and signals for the punt kick which led to Scorpio's Hardcore Alliance stablemate Balls Mahoney being taken out on a stretcher back on Episode 62. Orton is about to hit it when Masato Tanaka runs down with a chair to make the save, followed by the returning Balls Mahoney!

Tanaka and Balls collect Scorpio and Balls grabs a mic.

BALLS: LAWLER! Even though our leader, the great JWL Hall of Famer Terry Funk, is retired and the Hardcore Alliance as a group no longer exists, the three of us all still hate you and everything you have ever said about us. That pretty-boy punk put me down for a few weeks, but he didn’t put me out! You may have more guys in your group, but we have a secret weapon that we will unleash on you. We are bringing back someone from your past who wants to make your life a living Hell, and, no, this person is not a Funk or a Gilbert or a Dundee or a Hart or a Fuller and it damn sure ain't a Jarrett! We are going to drop the bomb on you Lawler and it will mean the end of you in the JWL!

Balls and Tanaka smash their chairs against each other as Big Balls by AC/DC plays and the reunited former Hardcore Alliance members leave to the cheers of the crowd.

(Bobby Lashley video package)

(Commercials)

IF YOU SMELLLL…………………

LG: Ladies and gentlemen, THE ROCK!

It is time for the SMACKDOWN HOTEL!

ROCK: FINALLY, THE ROCK HAS COME BACK TO THE SMACKDOWN HOTEL! The Rock is happy to say that unlike Crowbar and D-Lo Brown, the Smackdown Hotel will NOT be featuring jabronies tonight. No, the Smackdown Hotel is welcoming a man who, in the short time that he has been in the JWL, has earned the Rock's respect because he is about the same things as the Rock is about. He is about money, power and success. The Rock is PROUD to welcome to the Smackdown Hotel the manager of Daivari International, Mr. KHOSROW DAIVARI!

(Daivari's music plays as Daivari, the Burmese Python and Trevor Murdoch make their way to the ring and the crowd boos.)

ROCK: MR. DAIVARI, welcome to the Smackdown Hotel. The Rock is honored to finally have guests with some talent, class and sophistication instead of the idiots the Rock had here the first two times.

DAIVARI: Thank you Rock for giving me this opportunity. I am sure you are familiar with my Burmese Python and with the undefeated JWL World Tag Team Champion Trevor Murdoch.

ROCK: Yes, the Rock has seen them in action and actually been impressed. However, what the Rock wants to know is this: When will you introduce a new tag team partner for Trevor Murdoch?

DAIVARI: Rock, I am glad that you asked, because I wanted to take this opportunity to speak on JWL television to introduce the newest acquisition of Daivari International. This man is a great wrestler and a Sambo and Kickboxing Champion. Please welcome to the Smackdown Hotel, to Daivari International and to the JWL, (dramatic pause), 'THE MOSCOW MAULER' VLADIMIR KOZLOV!

The crowd boos as Kozlov's music hits and he walks down to the ring. Kozlov rubs his fingers together symbolizing money as he joins his new stablemates and has his usual stoic expression on his face.

DAIVARI: JWL, this man is a human wrecking machine. He has no fear and feels no pain. We dare ANYONE in the JWL to attempt to beat him. The blood spilled by the Burmese Python, Trevor Murdoch and Vladimir Kozlov will be on YOUR HANDS! However, I understand that in America there is an old saying, 'Behind every great man is an even better woman.' With that in mind, I have found the perfect assistant for Mr. Kozlov. Please welcome, the Lithuanian Sensation, AKSANA!

Aksana's music hits and she walks out to a mix of boos and whistles.

ROCK: Well, Khosrow Daivari, the Rock thinks that is all well and good, but the Rock has one last question for you. Over the last three weeks, the Rock and everyone else in the JWL has been seeing you taking notes during Jack Swagger's matches, and after every match, you, the Rock's manager Jerry Lawler and Dusty Rhodes have all confronted Swagger about possibly managing him. Is there a chance we might see Jack Swagger in Daivari International in the near future?

DAIVARI: All in due time, Rock, all in due time.

Daivari's music plays again and the heels leave.

ROCK: Well, jabronies, there you have it. 'The Moscow Mauler' Vladimir Kozlov and 'The Lithuanian Sensation' Aksana are in Daivari International and the blood that they spill will be on everyone else's hands. This has been the SMACKDOWN HOTEL. IF YOU SMELL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKING!

(Commercials)

(Video package covering the Al Snow-Johnny Nitro match from Episode 63 and the Blue Meanie's surprise debut after the match, leading to the tag match on Episode 64 where Snow and Meanie defeated Nitro and the debuting Jack Swagger, the Meanie-Swagger match on Episode 65 and the Snow-Swagger match on Episode 66.)

The Blue Meanie vs. Johnny Nitro (w/Melina Perez)

LG: The following contest is scheduled for one fall.

(Paparazzi plays, and Nitro and Melina do the whole entrance, with developmental wrestlers playing the photographers.)

LG: Introducing first, being led to the ring by Melina Perez, from Los Angeles, CA, JOHNNY NITRO!

Mix of boos and wolf whistles for Melina.

(Let Me Clear My Throat by DJ Kool plays)

Crowd cheers.

LG: And his opponent, from Pepperland, THE BLUE MEANIE!

Meanie raises the roof, slaps hands with some fans, and dances on his way to the ring.

They lock up and Nitro employs his technical knowledge to counter Meanie's unorthodox style. Nitro controls, drawing heel heat, which leads to cheers for the Meanie. Meanie fights back with some hiptosses and dropkicks and a powerslam for 2. Meanie tosses Nitro around for a time to the cheers of the crowd and Melina's utter frustration. Meanie goes for a legdrop and Melina trips him up from the floor. Referee Nick Patrick threatens to eject her from the ring area as she pleads innocent to interfering. With the distraction, Nitro is able to low-blow Meanie and hit Moonlight Drive for the pin at 8:00. Crowd boos.

LG: Here is your winner, JOHNNY NITRO!

The A-List Couple walks back happy. Meanie recovers and grumbles on his way to the back.

All of a sudden, we see thousands of random letters on the JWL-Tron, much like the "SAVE_US.222" videos WWE aired in 2007 to promote the return of Chris Jericho. Some of the letters come together to form, in large print, the words "STOMACH DRUM OUT." Then the letters just as quickly disappear. Scott and Mike are as puzzled as the fans.

(Daffney Unger video package)

(We go back to Trevor Murdoch defeating Meng last week.)

The Barbarian (w/"The Mouth of the South" Jimmy Hart) vs. Trevor Murdoch (w/Khosrow Daivari)

LG: The following contest is scheduled for one fall.

(Daivari's music plays)

Crowd boos.

LG: Introducing first, being led to the ring by Khosrow Daivari and representing Daivari International, from Houston, TX, TREVOR MURDOCH!

(The Faces of Fear's music plays)

Crowd cheers.

LG: And his opponent, being led to the ring by 'The Mouth of the South' Jimmy Hart, he is one-half of the Faces of Fear, from the Kingdom of Tonga, THE BARBARIAN!

An official hands a note to Lillian.

LG: Ladies and gentlemen, I have been informed that JWL Commissioner Mick Foley has banned Jimmy Hart and Khosrow Daivari from ringside for this match and that if either Barbarian's tag team partner Meng or any of the other members of Daivari International interferes in this contest, that person will be suspended.

Hart and Daivari give their respective wrestlers some last minute advice before heading to the back.

Much like Meng's match with Murdoch last time, this is just a rough, stiff brawl. Neither guy gives an inch to the other. Barbarian hits some clotheslines and a powerslam for 2. He keeps on the attack, but Murdoch will not quit. They go back and forth but neither guy can put the other away. Finally, Barbarian fights back and snaps off the Kick of Fear, which stuns Murdoch. Just to be certain, Barbarian executes a piledriver on Murdoch. Barbarian hooks the leg and gets the three count at 9:00!

LG: Here is your winner, THE BARBARIAN!

The crowd cheers. Hart and Meng come out to celebrate the win with the Barbarian. Daivari leads out the Burmese Python and Vladimir Kozlov to collect Murdoch. Daivari appears to have a very disappointed expression on his face.

(Commercials)

(Video package covering the feud between the Dangerous Alliance and Dusty's Dream Team.)

Shelton Benjamin (w/Paul E. Dangerously and 911) vs. Cody Rhodes (w/"The American Dream" Dusty Rhodes)

LG: The following contest is scheduled for one fall.

(Cody's music plays)

Crowd boos.

LG: Introducing first, being led to the ring by 'The American Dream' Dusty Rhodes and representing Dusty's Dream Team, from Marietta, GA, CODY RHODES!

(Bodies by Drowning Pool plays)

Crowd cheers.

LG: And his opponent, being led to the ring by Paul E. Dangerously and 911 and representing the Dangerous Alliance, from Orangeburg, SC, SHELTON BENJAMIN!

911 checks under the ring and in the first several rows to make sure no one can interfere and cost Shelton the match, the way Randy Orton did on Episode 65 and the way Cody himself did on Episode 66. He reports to Paul E. that it looks clear.

LG: Ladies and gentlemen, JWL Commissioner Mick Foley has banned Paul E. Dangerously, 911 and Dusty Rhodes from ringside for this contest and has ordered that if anyone from either the Dangerous Alliance or Dusty's Dream Team interferes in this match that that person will be suspended.

Paul E. and Dusty give their wrestlers some last minute advice before leaving.

As Paul E. and 911 walk up the aisle to the back, they trip over a wire that had not been there before. 911 is ENRAGED when he sees DOINK THE CLOWN was the one who set up the wire. The evil Clown laughs and runs off as the bodyguard charges after him, with Paul E. in tow.

Back to the ring, as Shelton and Cody are having a solid, exciting scientific wrestling match. Shelton fires off a couple of dropkicks and suplexes for a few 2-counts. Cody responds with some good offense of his own. Cody takes control, drawing heel heat and inspiring chants of SHELTON SHELTON. Cody goes for the Silver Spoon DDT, but Shelton fights back and pushes him into the corner. Shelton works over Cody in the corner and fires off a big German Suplex for a 2-count. Shelton follows with a T-Bone Suplex and yells to the crowd, "That's it!" Shelton goes to the corner and sets Cody on the top turnbuckle for Paydirt. Shelton climbs up but Cody tries to block with an elbow to the head but Shelton blocks with his own, and debuts Paydirt for the pin at 9:00!

LG: Here is your winner, SHELTON BENJAMIN!

Shelton holds his fists up in victory and is about to leave when AKSANA walks down to the ring and appears to be flirting with him. Shelton is understandably distracted by this, which allows VLADIMIR KOZLOV the chance to run in from the crowd, deliver a Battering Ram headbutt and then leave. Dusty and Daivari make their way out and Dusty PAYS OFF Daivari, Kozlov and Aksana for the post-match attack to loud boos from the crowd. Paul E. and Charlie Haas come out and collect Shelton.

(Commercials)

"STOMACH DRUM OUT"

(Kane video package)

Main Event, JWL World Heavyweight Championship: "The Big Red Machine" Kane © vs. Crowbar

LG: The following contest is our main event. It is for the JWL World Heavyweight Championship and is scheduled for one fall.

(Head Like a Hole plays)

Crowd cheers.

LG: Introducing first, the challenger. From Rutherford, NJ, CROWBAR!

Crowbar has a determined look on his face.

KABOOM!

(Burned plays)

LG: And his opponent, from Parts Unknown, he is the JWL World Heavyweight Champion, KANE!

Crowd boos.

Scott mentions that Kane defeated Crowbar in the first round of the JWL World Heavyweight Championship Tournament on Episode 55. Crowbar clearly remembers their previous encounter, as he moves quickly to stay out of Kane’s way. Mike mentions that Daffney Unger is not with Crowbar because she is preparing for her JWL in-ring debut next week. Kane takes control and throws Crowbar around in what is very much a repeat of that earlier match. Crowbar keeps fighting back, but he can not get Kane off of his feet. Finally, Kane executes the top rope clothesline, the chokeslam and the Tombstone for the pin at 10:00.

LG: Here is your winner, and still the JWL World Heavyweight Champion, KANE!

Crowd boos as Kane sets the pyro off again in celebration.

Scott and Mike wrap up the show, thank everyone for watching and encourage everyone to tune in next week.

End of show.