The JWL [Episode 44]

Live from the Joe Louis Arena in Detroit, MI

You know the drill.

Opening hardcore match: "The Hardcore Icon" The Sandman(w/"The Hardcore Legend" Terry Funk) vs. The One Man Gang (w/"The American Dream" Dusty Rhodes)

LG: "The following hardcore match is scheduled for one fall."

("Imperial March" plays)

LG: "Introducing first, being led to the ring by 'The American Dream' Dusty Rhodes and representing Dusty's Dream Team, from Chicago, IL, weighing in at 450 lbs., THE ONE MAN GANG!"

Crowd boos.

("Enter Sandman" plays)

Crowd cheers and sings along as Sandman does his entrance.

LG: "And his opponent, being led to the ring by 'The Hardcore Legend' Terry Funk and representing the Hardcore Alliance, from Philadelphia, PA, weighing in at 244 lbs., he is the Hardcore Icon, this is the SANDMAN!"

JR hypes the steel cage match with Dusty, Jerry Lawler and Mr. Bob Backlund going up against the mysterious "Half-Ton of Holy Hell" at Slamboree coming up in two weeks.

Sandman enters the ring and immediately starts caning the Gang. Sandman controls with ease. Funk and Dusty get into it on the floor. Sandman runs and hits a freaking tope con hilo onto Dusty on the floor! Sandman canes away on Dusty, but the Gang attacks him from behind and splashes him against the protective barrier. Gang slams Sandman on the floor and splashes him there. Gang drags Sandman around the ring area and rams him headfirst into the ringposts. Gang throws Sandman back into the ring and sets up for the 747, but Funk slips a beer into the ring for the Sandman. Sandman does the Popeye thing with the beer and makes the comeback. Sandman reclaims the cane and canes OMG off of the top and back into the ring. Sandman goes for the DDT, but Gang powers him into the corner. Gang then hits two Avalanches on the Sandman and follows with a big splash for the surprise pin at 7:00!

LG: "Here is your winner, THE ONE MAN GANG!"

In Two Weeks

The JWL returns to PPV

The Main Event

Chris Benoit vs. Bret Hart for the JWL World Heavyweight Championship

We come back to see Sable, Marc the Bodyguard and Torrie Wilson running from Gangrel and Luna Vachon. Sable and her entourage appear to escape and run right into Commissioner Mick Foley in his office/forklift.

SABLE: "Commissioner Foley, we have had enough of those freaks Luna and Gangrel. You need to do something about them."

FOLEY: "Well, let me tell you what I am going to do. At Slamboree, it will be a tag team match. In one corner it will be Gangrel and Luna Vachon, and in the other corner it will be Sable and Marc the Bodyguard, and that is FINAL!" (raps gavel on Marc's fingers.)

Sable and her entourage leave, frustrated and more worried than ever.

(Commercials)

("Hitman" plays, bringing out Bret "The Hitman" Hart, Christopher Nowinski and Mr. Bob Backlund.)

Crowd boos.

Bret takes the microphone.

BRET: "I do not want to wait until Slamboree to get a piece of you Chris Benoit. We are challenging you and Malenko to a tag team match tonight."

("Rabid" plays, bringing out the Champ and the Iceman.)

BENOIT: "Bret, Nowinski, you have your match for tonight."

("Time to Rock N Roll" plays, bringing out Trish Stratus with T&A.)

TRISH: "As long as we are issuing challenges tonight, I might as well take the chance to get my hands on some gold. (Test and Albert look at her with quizzical expressions.) I mean our hands on some gold. On behalf of my team, I am calling out the JWL World Tag Team Champions the Faces of Fear."

(The Faces of Fear's theme plays, bringing out the Champs and the Taskmaster.)

TASKMASTER: "TRISH! You got your match tonight and your boys may live to regret it!"

Everyone goes to the back to prepare for their matches.

The New Age Outlaws ("Road Dogg" Jesse Jammes and "Badass" Billy Gunn) vs. ???

("Oh You Didn't Know")

ROAD DOGG: "YOU DAMN RIGHT! THAT'S RIGHT IT'S ME, IT'S ME, IT'S THAT D-O-DOUBLE-G! ROLLING ONCE AGAIN WITH MR A-DOUBLE-S, MR. A-DOUBLE-CROOKED LETTER!"

The Outlaws enter the ring.

ROAD DOGG: "Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages. The Clique proudly brings to you its (under his breath: soon-to-be) JWL TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS OF THE WORRRRLLLLD! (Points to himself) The Road Dogg Jesse Jammes! (Points to Gunn) The Badass Billy Gunn, THE NEW AGE OUTLAWS!"

ROAD DOGG: "Last week, we wasted our valuable time fighting a couple of nobodies and then got attacked by the Stranger. So, we are calling out any team that is in the back that thinks they can beat us."

("Tubthumpin'" plays)

We'll be singing
When we're winning
We'll be singing

I get knocked down
But I get up again
You're never going to keep me down

Pissing the night away
Pissing the night away

He drinks a whisky drink
He drinks a vodka drink
He drinks a lager drink
He drinks a cider drink
He sings the songs that remind him
Of the good times
He sings the songs that remind him
Of the better times:

Oh Danny Boy
Danny Boy
Danny Boy..."

I get knocked down
But I get up again
You're never going to keep me down

Pissing the night away
Pissing the night away

He drinks a whisky drink
He drinks a vodka drink
He drinks a lager drink
He drinks a cider drink
He sings the songs that remind him
Of the good times
He sings the songs that remind him
Of the better times:

Don't cry for me
Next door neighbour..."

I get knocked down
But I get up again
You're never going to keep me down

We'll be singing
When we're winning
We'll be singing

Crowd cheers.

IT'S THE ALL-STARS, "MR. TECHNICAL" BARRY HOROWITZ AND THE BROOKLYN BRAWLER! It looks like they have accepted the challenge laid down by the Outlaws. The Outlaws have a look of amusement and confusion on their faces.

The All-Stars enter the ring.

ROAD DOGG: "Hold it, hold it, hold it just a doggone minute. Are you guys serious? You JOB Squad rejects think that you stand a chance against the former five-time WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS OF THE WORRRRRLD??"

BARRY HOROWITZ: "Not only do we think we stand a chance, we know we can beat you."

ROAD DOGG: "If that is what you boys want, then that is what you get. Ring the bell, start the damn match."

The Outlaws attack with their usual stuff, but the All-Stars surprise them with solid mat wrestling and take control. The Outlaws keep pounding on the All-Stars, but Barry and Brawler keep fighting back and working them over. The Outlaws cheat to regain control, but the All-Stars frustrate them yet again. Road Dogg goes for the Pumphandle Slam, but Horowitz wriggles free and gets the Horowitz Cradle on him for the shock pin at 6:30!

LG: "Here are your winners, THE ALL-STARS!"

Barry and Brawler do the "pat-yourself-on-the-back thing" to cheers from the crowd. The Outlaws regroup and head to the back, but get beat up by the Stranger yet again.

Raven (w/Tori) vs. Alex Wright

LG: "The following contest is scheduled for one fall. In the ring at this time, from Atlanta, GA, weighing in at 225 lbs., ALEX WRIGHT!"

("Come Out and Play" hits)

LG: "And his opponent, being led to the ring by Tori, from the Bowery, weighing in at 237 lbs., he is the leader of Raven's Nest, RAVEN!"

Raven wins a quick squash with the Mr. Wrestling II knee lift followed by the Raven Effect DDT for the pin at 2:30.

LG: "Here is your winner, RAVEN!"

(Video package covering the feud between the Shooters and the Clique)

Norman Smiley vs. HHH

LG: "The following contest is scheduled for one fall."

("Game" plays)

LG: "Introducing first, representing the Clique, from Greenwich, CT, weighing in at 246 lbs., HHH!"

Crowd boos.

("Hypnotize" by the Notorious B.I.G. plays)

Crowd pops big.

LG: "And his opponent, representing the Shooters, from London, England, weighing in at 240 lbs., NORMAN SMILEY!"

HHH looks at Norman with a look of utter disgust and contempt.

The match starts and Norman takes control with mat wrestling. HHH fights back with his knee stuff and a neckbreaker for 2. Smiley takes over and dominates HHH to the delight of the crowd and the shock of HHH. HHH tries to bail, but Smiley grabs him and holds him in a wheelbarrow position and does the Big Wiggle on him! Smiley is humiliating HHH and the crowd is loving it. HHH tries to crawl out but Norman pulls him back by his hair. HHH tries to fight back but Norman works him over with submission holds finishing with the Norman Conquest and HHH submits at 6:30!

LG: "Here is your winner, NORMAN SMILEY!"

Norman does the Big Wiggle to a major pop as HHH crawls out of the ring and heads for the locker room, beaten and humiliated.

(Dungeon of Doom video package)

Earthquake (w/"The Mouth of the South" Jimmy Hart) vs. Garrison Cade and Ernest Miller

LG: "The following handicap contest is scheduled for one fall. In the ring at this time, first, from Omaha, NE, weighing in at 260 lbs., GARRISON CADE! And his partner, from Atlanta, GA, weighing in at 235 lbs., ERNEST MILLER!"

(The Dungeon of Doom theme plays)

LG: "And their opponent, being led to the ring by Jimmy Hart and representing the Dungeon of Doom, from Surrey, British Columbia, Canada, weighing in at 430 lbs., EARTHQUAKE!"

Crowd cheers.

Easy squash for Quake, as he pins both guys in 2:30 with the Quake Splash.

LG: "Here is your winner, EARTHQUAKE!"

We suddenly go to the back to see two separate brawls, one involving Taz and William Regal, the other the Undertaker and Rhino. Security and their stablemates are all trying to break up the battles. Commissioner Foley drives over on his forklift and announces that Taz and Regal will face each other in a submission match at Slamboree and that Taker and Rhino will face each other in a street fight match at Slamboree. The crowd pops big for the announcements.

In Two Weeks

The JWL returns to PPV

The Main Event

Chris Benoit vs. Bret Hart for the JWL World Heavyweight Championship

(Commercials)

JWL World Tag Team Title: The Faces of Fear (w/"The Taskmaster" Kevin Sullivan) vs. T&A (Test and Albert) (w/Trish Stratus)

LG: "The following tag team contest is for the JWL World Tag Team Championship and is scheduled for one fall."

("Time to Rock N Roll" plays)

Crowd boos.

LG: "Introducing first, being led to the ring by Trish Stratus and representing Stratusfaction Inc., at a total combined weight of 632 lbs., from Toronto, Ontario, Canada, TEST, and from Boston, MA, ALBERT, T&A!"

(The Faces of Fear's theme plays)

Crowd pops.

LG: "And their opponents, being led to the ring by 'The Taskmaster' Kevin Sullivan and representing the Dungeon of Doom, from the Kingdom of Tonga, at a total combined weight of 575 lbs., they are the JWL World Tag Team Champions, MENG AND THE BARBARIAN, THE FACES OF FEAR!"

Trish gives her team some last minute instructions and looks to be very serious tonight.

It starts as a solid power vs. power match, with a lot of slams, boots and clotheslines. Albert goes for the Albert Bomb on Meng, but Meng headbutts out of it. Meng then follows with the Tongan Death Grip to retain at 6:30.

Trish is on the verge of pulling her hair out due to frustration and her wrestlers letting her down again. She orders Test and Albert back to the locker room and appears to be in a very bad mood.

(Recap of Bret challenging Benoit for Slamboree on Episode 41.)

Main Event: JWL World Heavyweight Champion "The Crippler" Chris Benoit and "The Iceman" Dean Malenko (w/'The Horny Little She-Devil" Terri Runnels) vs. Bret "The Hitman" Hart and Christopher Nowinski (w/Mr. Bob Backlund)

LG: "The following tag team contest is our main event and is scheduled for one fall."

("Pomp and Circumstance" plays)

Crowd boos.

LG: "Introducing first, being led to the ring by Mr. Bob Backlund and representing High Standards, from Calgary, Alberta, Canada, weighing in at 235 lbs., he is the Excellence of Execution and the Best There Is the Best There Was and the Best There Ever Will Be, BRET 'THE HITMAN' HART! And from Watertown, MA, weighing in at 270 lbs., he is the only Harvard Graduate in JWL history, CHRISTOPHER NOWINSKI"

("Rabid" plays)

Crowd cheers.

LG: "And their opponents, being led to the ring by 'The Horny Little She-Devil' Terri Runnels and representing the Four Horsemen, from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, weighing in at 220 lbs., he is the JWL World Heavyweight Champion, 'THE CRIPPLER' CHRIS BENOIT! And from Tampa, FL, weighing in at 212 lbs., 'THE ICEMAN' DEAN MALENKO!"

We get lots of great wrestling, as expected from these four guys. Lots of suplexes, mat work and submission stuff. Backlund gets in Terri's face and intimidates her back to the locker room. She heads back to get some help. Meanwhile, Backlund ties up referee Nick Patrick, allowing Hart and Nowinski the opportunity to cheat like mad, drawing major heat. Finally, Bret removes a turnbuckle pad and slingshots Benoit into it! Nowinski pulls Malenko off the apron and chairs him down. Bret then rolls up Benoit with his feet on the ropes and a handful of tights! The referee doesn't see it! 1...2...3! BRET HART HAS JUST PINNED THE JWL WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!

LG: "Here are your winners, BRET 'THE HITMAN' HART AND CHRISTOPHER NOWINSKI!"

Benoit looks upset and is calling Bret back to the ring, but High Standards leaves to celebrate the win.

End of show.