The JWL [Episode 14]

Live from the Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, PA.

You know the drill.

Opening Match: Mikey Whipwreck and "The Japanese Buzzsaw" Yoshihiro Tajiri (w/"The Hardcore Legend" Terry Funk) vs. Diamond Dallas Page and Christian (w/Jerry "The King" Lawler)

LG: "The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall."

("Self High Five" plays

LG: "Introducing first, being accompanied to the ring by Jerry 'The King' Lawler and representing the Royals, from New Jersey, weighing in at 253 lbs., DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE!"

("At Last" plays)

LG: "And his partner, also representing the Royals, from Toronto, Ontario, Canada, weighing at 227 lbs., CHRISTIAN!"

Crowd boos

(Tajiri's WWE music plays)

LG: "And their opponents, being led to the ring by 'The Hardcore Legend' Terry Funk and representing The Hardcore Alliance, from Buffalo, NY, weighing in at 187 lbs., MIKEY WHIPWRECK! And his partner, also representing The Hardcore Alliance, from Tokyo, Japan, weighing in at 180 lbs., 'THE JAPANESE BUZZSAW' YOSHIHIRO TAJIRI!"

Crowd cheers and chants "ECW! ECW! ECW!"

Match starts with Christian and Mikey. Mikey goes on the offensive quickly with armdrags and dropkicks. Mikey gets a powerslam for 2. Christian fights back with lariats and suplexes. Christian hits a bulldog on Mikey for 2. Christian goes to the mat and works Mikey over for a while. He gets several 2 counts out of it. Christian takes control and stomps Mikey down. Christian tags DDP in and we get a quick double-team. DDP takes control with his usual punches, clotheslines and slams. Mikey bumps around for DDP's standard offense. The crowd is getting into this, cheering for Mikey. Mikey fights back and hits a bodypress on DDP for 2. A splash gets 2 for Mikey. DDP comes back and takes control, but Mikey fights out of it, hits a DDT on Page, and tags in Tajiri to a big pop. Tajiri charges in and unleashes his vicious kicks on DDP. Tajiri puts DDP down and begins to work him over on the mat. In a brilliant move, he goes to his rolling cross-armbreaker (see Tajiri vs. Super Crazy at ECW House Party 99). JR mentions how that could mess up DDP's arm and prevent him from being able to hit the Diamond Cutter. Tajiri goes to the surfboard to inflict more damage. Christian attacks Tajiri to break up the surfboard. DDP can't follow up, however, so Christian drags him to the corner and tags himself back into the match. Christian pounds on Tajiri, but Tajiri is able to counter it. Tajiri gets control and tags in Mikey. Mikey and Christian have a pretty even fight, but Christian blocks the Whippersnapper, boots Mikey in the gut and hits the Unprettier for the pin at 7:30.

LG: "Here are your winners, DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE AND CHRISTIAN!"

Crowd boos. The Hardcore Alliance and the Royals brawl after the match.

(Video package covering the feud between the Shooters and the Clique)

"The Lethal Weapon" Steve Blackman vs. "The Heartbreak Kid" Shawn Michaels (w/"The 9th Wonder of the World" Chyna)

LG: "The following contest is scheduled for one fall."

("Sexy Boy" plays)

LG: "Introducing first, being accompanied to the ring by 'The 9th Wonder of the World' Chyna and representing The Clique, from San Antonio, TX, weighing in at 235 lbs., 'THE HEARTBREAK KID' SHAWN MICHAELS!"

Crowd boos.

("Lethal Weapon" by Ice-T plays. Blackman never used this as his theme, but I can't remember Blackman's actual music.)

LG: "And his opponent, representing The Shooters, from Annville, PA, weighing in at 242 lbs., 'THE LETHAL WEAPON' STEVE BLACKMAN!"

Crowd cheers.

The match starts, and Blackman attacks immediately with kicks and chops. Shawn bails to the floor and Blackman chases after him. Chyna tries to attack, but Blackman is too quick and avoids her. Back in the ring, Shawn gets in a cheapshot and goes to work with slams and suplexes. A vertical suplex gets 2. Shawn sends Blackman into the turnbuckles, powerslams him and goes up top for the flying elbow. Shawn hits the elbow and signals for Sweet Chin Music. Shawn warms up the band, but Blackman avoids the kick. Blackman unleashes some kicks of his own. A big dropkick gets 2 1/2 for Blackman. Shawn kips up and comes back with his usual, but can't put Blackman away. Chyna distracts referee Charles Robinson, giving Shawn the opportunity to low blow Blackman, warm up the band, and deliver Sweet Chin Music. Chyna tells Robinson to turn around just in time for him to count the pin at 6:30. Crowd boos.

LG: "Here is your winner, 'THE HEARTBREAK KID' SHAWN MICHAELS!"

(Riot video package covering her career in WOW and as a member of The WOW Revolution. Check My Fan Fictions Page for more information.)

"The Heavy Metal Maniac" Riot vs. Ella Carter

LG: "The following women's contest is scheduled for one fall. In the ring at this time, from London, England, ELLA CARTER!"

No reaction.

("Dragula" by Rob Zombie plays)

LG: "And her opponent, representing The Revolution, from Chicago, IL, 'THE HEAVY METAL MANIAC' RIOT!"

Crowd cheers.

Quickie squash for Riot, as she flattens Carter with a couple of big suplexes, the Riot Twister Elbow (corkscrew elbow drop from the top) and the Power Bomb in about 2:00.

LG: "Here is your winner, 'THE HEAVY METAL MANIAC' RIOT!"

(Note: Ella Carter is former WOW competitor Jane Blond under her real name as a jobber.)

Riot takes the mic.

RIOT: "I am announcing that I will be in that Royal Rumble for the JWL Women's Title at Superbrawl. I am also announcing that I will win the title, because I am unbreakable, I am unbeatable, and no one can stop the RIOT!"

Commercials

(Replay of Lance Storm losing to Chris Benoit at the last show and being put on Stratusfaction Suspension.)

Lance Storm vs. Ken Stasiowski

LG: "The following contest is scheduled for one fall. In the ring at this time, from Anchorage, AK, weighing in at 235 lbs., KEN STASIOWSKI!"

No reaction

(Lance Storm's music plays)

LG: "And his opponent, from Calgary, Alberta, Canada, weighing in at 232 lbs., LANCE STORM!"

Crowd boos.

JR points out how Storm has to win three consecutive matches for the Stratusfaction Suspension to be lifted. If he loses three consecutive matches, he's out of the group and can never return.

Storm, still in a bad mood after losing to Benoit at the last show, takes it out on Stasiowski. Storm squashes him and gets an easy tapout to the Canadian Maple Leaf at 2:05.

LG: "Here is your winner, LANCE STORM!"

(Note: Ken Stasiowski is ex-WCW jobber-turned-WCW World Tag Team Champion Kenny Kaos of High Voltage under his real name.)

(Video package covering the feud between the Dungeon of Doom and the Franchise Foundation)

"The Laughing Man" Hugh Morrus (w/"The Taskmaster" Kevin Sullivan) vs. Justin Credible (w/"The Head Cheerleader" Francine)

LG: "The following contest is scheduled for one fall."

("Snap Your Fingers, Snap Your Neck" by Prong plays)

LG: "Introducing first, being led to the ring by 'The Head Cheerleader' Francine and representing The Franchise Foundation, from Ozone Park, NY, weighing in at 225 lbs., JUSTIN CREDIBLE!"

Crowd boos.

(The Dungeon of Doom's music plays)

LG: "And his opponent, being led to the ring by 'The Taskmaster' Kevin Sullivan and representing The Dungeon of Doom, from the Isle of Nowhere, weighing in at 280 lbs., 'THE LAUGHING MAN' HUGH MORRUS!"

Crowd cheers.

(Note: This show has taken me a long time to write, so I'm just going to do a quick summary of this match. This match was supposed to be later in the show, but I made the Gangrel/Crowbar-High Standards match the main event and put this in its original place.)

Morrus wins a short, relatively even fight at 4:00 with the No Laughing Matter moonsault.

LG: "Here is your winner, 'THE LAUGHING MAN' HUGH MORRUS!"

The Dudley Boys vs.Randy Orton and Sylvian Grenier



LG: "The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall. In the ring at this time, first, from St. Louis, MO, weighing in at 265 lbs., RANDY ORTON. And his partner, from Montreal, Quebec, Canada, weighing in at 235 lbs., SYLVIAN GRENIER."

("Turn the Tables" plays, as the Dudleys climb over the guardrail where they were sitting with the rest of Raven's Nest.)

LG: "And their opponents, representing Raven's Nest, from Dudleyville, at a total combined weight of 580 lbs., Bubba Ray and D-Von, THE DUDLEY BOYS!"

Crowd boos.

Quickie squash for the Dudleys, as they beat the hell out of the jobbers and finish with the 3D at 2:35.

LG: "Here are your winners, THE DUDLEY BOYS!"

BUBBA RAY: "D-VON! GET THE TABLES!"

D-Von gets the table, and brings it into the ring. They put Orton on the table and D-Von lifts up Grenier for the table bomb. Bubba leaps off the top and powerbombs Grenier through Orton and they all go through the table. D-Von grabs the mic and yells, "APA! Look at that! That's gonna be you!"

The APA's music plays, and Ron Simmons and Bradshaw run out and brawl with the Dudleys. The APA gets control, but Rhino runs in and gores both of them. Rhino yells out, "Undertaker! You are going to feel the gore!"

"American Bad Ass" plays, and indeed UT rides out to the ring. UT goes to enter the ring, but Rhino gores him right to the floor. Rhino pounds on UT on the floor, but UT fights back. Eventually, all six men are brawling, as the usual entourage of referees and backstage officials (Sgt. Slaughter, Gerald Brisco, Pat Patterson, Michael Hayes, and Tom Prichard) run out to break up the fight.

As UT and the APA leave, they issue a challenge for a six-man tag match at the next show. The Dudleys and Rhino look to Raven for approval, which he grants, and accept.

Commercials

(Video package covering the feud between the Misfits and High Standards)

Main Event: Gangrel and Crowbar (w/Luna Vachon and Daffney Unger) vs. High Standards (Kurt Angle and Christopher Nowinski, w/Mr. Bob Backlund)

LG: "The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall."

("I Don't Suck" plays)

LG: "Introducing first, being led to the ring by Mr. Bob Backlund, at a total combined weight of 490 lbs., from Pittsburgh, PA, KURT ANGLE, and from Watertown, MA, CHRISTOPHER NOWINSKI, HIGH STANDARDS!"

Crowd boos and chants, "You suck! You suck!"

("Blood" plays)

LG: "And their opponents, first, being accompanied to the ring by Luna Vachon and Daffney Unger and representing The Misfits, from The Other Side of Darkness, weighing in at 240 lbs., GANGREL, and from Rutherford, NJ, weighing in at 230 lbs., CROWBAR!"

Gangrel does his pre-match ritual with the red liquid. Daffney runs around screaming and dancing.

Crowbar and Nowinski start. The Misfits are motivated, partially out of frustration due to their stablemate Perry Saturn's loss to Nowinski at the last show, and out of disgust with High Standards' arrogance and elitism. Crowbar takes down Nowinski and works him over on the mat, drawing good heat. Crowbar controls his much younger and less experienced opponent with ease. Crowbar tags in Gangrel, who administers more punishment. Backlund and Angle distract referee Mike Sparks, allowing Nowinski to get in some cheapshots on Gangrel. Luna and Daffney get in Backlund's face, with Daffney SCREAMING at him. Backlund rants away at the women, until Sparks threatens to send them all back to the locker room area. They stop and return to their respective corners. Meanwhile, Nowinski has taken control of Gangrel. Nowinski tags in Angle, who goes to work with suplexes. Gangrel is YOUR vampire-in-peril. Angle continues his attack with matwork, drawing great reactions. The Malenko-trained Gangrel does a pretty good job of keeping up, and we get some great chain-wrestling sequences. Angle goes for the Anklelock, but Gangrel blocks it and kicks Angle in the face to escape. Gangrel tags in Crowbar, who goes nuts on Angle, beating him up all over the ring. Angle escapes and tags in Nowinski. Bad move, as Crowbar destroys Nowinski and finishes with the Mindbender for the pin at 8:00.

LG: "Here are your winners, the team of GANGREL and CROWBAR!"

End of show.