The JWL [Episode 1]

Setting: The Ice Palace, Tampa, Florida. Live on the USA Network.

Your hosts are J.R. and Mike Tenay.

"Rock and Roll All Nite" by Kiss plays, and the entire roster, faces and heels, pours into the ring area. Lillian Garcia, in the ring, welcomes everyone at the Palace and everyone watching at home to the new and improved JWL.

[I stole this intro from IWA Japan, who would begin their shows with the entire roster coming out to "Eye of the Tiger."]

Garcia informs the crowd that the JWL will soon begin tournaments to crown JWL Heavyweight, Tag Team, Cruiserweight, Hardcore, Women's and Women's Tag Team Titles.

The roster returns to the locker rooms to get ready for tonight's matches.

Masato Tanaka (w/"The Hardcore Legend" Terry Funk) vs. Rob Van Dam (w/Jerry "The King" Lawler)

LG: "The following contest is scheduled for one fall. It is a No-DQ, no-countout, anything goes match."

("One of a Kind" plays)

LG: "Making his way to the ring, being accompanied by Jerry 'The King' Lawler and representing the Royals, from Battle Creek, MI, weighing in at 236 lbs., ROB VAN DAM!"

RVD does his pointing to himself pose and mouths his own introduction. The heels get in the ring and Lawler insults everyone in the crowd, while RVD jumps around and poses.

("D-A-N-G-A-N" plays)

LG: "His opponent, being accompanied to the ring by 'The Hardcore Legend' Terry Funk and representing the Hardcore Alliance, from Tokyo, Japan, weighing in at 250 lbs., MASATO TANAKA!"

Crowd pops for Tanaka. Funk has his branding iron with him, and threatens Lawler with it.

The match begins, and RVD kicks away at Tanaka and forces him into a corner. RVD backflips out and Tanaka clotheslines him. Tanaka proceeds to beat the hell out of RVD, who bails out to get help from Lawler. Tanaka follows and continues the beating. RVD grabs a chair and throws it to Tanaka. RVD hits the Vandaminator, but he forgot something. TANAKA DOESN'T SELL CHAIRSHOTS TO THE HEAD IN AMERICA! AND EVEN IF HE DID, THAT MOVE SUCKS! RVD is shocked to see Tanaka no-sell his big move like that. Tanaka grabs the chair and just blasts RVD with it. Tanaka continues to beat on RVD with the chair, and brings some more chairs in for fun. Both guys just chair the hell out of each other. RVD goes for another chairshot and Tanaka unleashes his famous Rolling Elbow, knocking the chair into RVD's face. It gets two. Tanaka piles up some chairs on top of each other. Tanaka grabs RVD, climbs to the top rope, and hits his Tornado DDT onto the chairs. Lawler breaks up the pin. Funk attacks Lawler, and beats him up for fun. Tanaka, realizing that something even bigger is needed to beat RVD, puts RVD up on top and climbs up after him. Tanaka hooks RVD's head for the Diamond Dust (top-rope rolling Stunner), but Lawler grabs RVD's legs to prevent the move. Tanaka kicks Lawler's hand away, decks RVD, and dives over the top onto Lawler! Tanaka grabs Funk's branding iron and smashes Lawler over the head with it. Tanaka then hits RVD with it about five times. Tanaka gets back in the ring and sets up RVD for the Tanaka Blaster (Liger Bomb), but RVD lowblows out of it. All of a sudden, Kurt Angle and William Regal run in and attack Funk. With Tanaka distracted by this attack on his manager, RVD blasts Tanaka with a chair, climbs up, and hits his frogsplash for the pin!

LG: "Here is your winner, ROB VAN DAM!"

Angle, RVD and Regal commence with a three-on-two beatdown on Tanaka. Tommy Dreamer and the Sandman make the save and run the heels off. Sandman gives Tanaka some beer to get him going again. The Hardcore Alliance members help Funk and Tanaka up and back to the dressing room.


We return to Joey Styles in the ring, announcing the Four Horsemen.

("Also Sprach Zarathustra" by Richard Strauss brings out the Horsemen. Ric Flair, AA, Benoit and Malenko come out, with their manager, "The Horny Little She-Devil" Terri Runnels.)

Flair: "Joseph Whoo! Styles! It is great to be here in the JWL! I heard the Fink say that there is going to Whoo! be a tournament for the Whoo! Tag Team Whoo! Titles. Well, I just want to make two predictions! One Whoo! is that the Horsemen will win the tournament. The other is that Whoo! the Horsemen will beat a team from Stratusfaction Inc. Because once the Horsemen Whoo! win the belts, The Nature Boy is going to get himself Whoo! some Stratusfaction baby! I predict that soon, soon Trish Stratus is going to ride Space Mountain! Whether you like it or whether you don't, learn to love it, cause it's the greatest thing going today! Whoo!"

Benoit: "The Horsemen will get the titles. And we dare anyone in this company to PROVE US WRONG!"

"Also Sprach Zarathustra" plays, and the Horsemen leave. Joey is still shook up by Flair's comments about Trish.

Joey isn't the only one. We go to Stratusfaction Inc.'s locker room, where a shouting match is taking place with Test, Albert, Val, Kanyon, and Lance Storm all accusing Trish of planning to leave the group for the Horsemen. Trish begs them to calm down and promises that she is not leaving Stratusfaction Inc. for the Horsemen or for anyone else. She says that she is dedicated to Stratusfaction Inc.


Back to the ring.

Beckie The Farmer's Daughter vs. Tori

LG: "The following women's contest is scheduled for one fall."

("The Power" by Snap! plays)

LG: "Introducing first, from Portland, OR, TORI!"

Mixed reaction.

("American Girl" by Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers plays)

LG: "And her opponent, from Hog Hollow, NE, representing the Revolution, BECKIE THE FARMER'S DAUGHTER!"

Good pop for Beckie.

Before the match starts, the cameras notice Raven and Stevie Richards sitting in the crowd. Stevie has his eye on Tori, and Raven seems to notice her as well.

The match starts, and Beckie gets on offense first, doing some good basic stuff. Tori responds in kind, and the two have a good, straightforward match. The crowd is getting into it, popping for good moves and cheering for Beckie. Beckie hits a DDT and finishes with the Barnburner (450 Splash) for the pin.

LG: Here is your winner, BECKIE THE FARMER'S DAUGHTER!

Beckie celebrates her win with the fans. Like the good sportswoman she is, she helps Tori up and shakes her hand. Tori responds by slapping Beckie and spitting on her! Tori looks upset and lost, and runs from the ring area. The crowd seems unsure why Tori did that.

Raven: "Stevie, bring her to me."

Stevie leaves for the locker room. He wants to be careful, given his history of getting beat up by both men and women. He wanders toward the women's locker rooms, and stumbles into Tori's room, when she is only wearing a thong and has her shirt over her chest. The crowd sees this on the JWL-Tron and pops big time. Stevie says that Raven understands her frustration and that he wants her to join the Nest. Tori thinks about it, and says she will join, as long as Raven lets her change first. Stevie agrees and leaves to tell Raven.

(On the August 26, 1999 episode of WWE SmackDown!, Tori was supposed to face Ivory in an Evening Gown Match. Michael Cole, still a neutral character, attempted to interview Tori backstage before the match as she walked away from the camera. Tori pulled down her evening gown, saying that there was no way Ivory was going to humiliate her, and, with her back to the camera, walked around backstage wearing only a thong and shoes until she was stopped by a group of referees and Road Agent Tony Garea, who gave her his shirt to wear. Tori won, of course, in 57 seconds.)


We return to Tori, wearing street clothes, climbing the guard rail to join Raven's Nest.

"The Beast from the East" Bam Bam Bigelow vs. HHH (w/"The Billion-Dollar Princess" Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley)

LG: "The following contest is our main event and is scheduled for one fall."

("Game" by Motorhead plays)

LG: "Introducing first, being accompanied to the ring by 'The Billion-Dollar Princess' Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley and representing the Clique, from Greenwich, CT, weighing in at 246 lbs., HHH!"

Crowd boos.

(Bigelow's WWF music plays)

LG: "And his opponent, representing The Shooters, from Asbury Park, NJ, weighing in at 325 lbs., 'THE BEAST FROM THE EAST' BAM BAM BIGELOW!"

Crowd pops huge for Bammer.

J.R. informs everyone that Bigelow requested this match, since he has declared war on the Clique for how they treated him in WWE from 1993-1995.

The match starts, and Bigelow attacks with power stuff, but shifts to more technical wrestling. HHH responds, but all his knee stuff can't match Bigelow's Japan-influenced skills. Bigelow shows why he is in the Shooters, as he utilizes a lot of mat wrestling and submission techniques on a confused HHH. Steph looks nervous, both out of concern for HHH and knowing that the last thing she should do is interfere. Bigelow is just destroying HHH with ease here. HHH low blows Bigelow and tries for the Pedigree, but Bammer backdrops out of it. The crowd starts chanting "Over here! Over here!" HHH realizes that this means that the crowd wants Bigelow to toss HHH into the crowd. HHH tries to bail but Bigelow grabs him and throws him into the crowd! Bigelow then hits a freaking plancha into the crowd! Bigelow batters HHH bloody with a chair and tosses him over the guard rail onto the floor, then rolls him back into the ring. Bigelow hits his diving headbutt, and finishes with the Greetings from Asbury Park for the pin.


Bigelow celebrates his win, does a couple of cartwheels and leaves. HHH does a stretcher job to fully sell the beating. Steph looks mad, but thinks better of it and decides to follow HHH instead of trying anything with Bigelow.

End of show.