The Justin Conspiracy

holy ^&*%$... if he looked that good at 15, just imagine what he looks like now....


We present, for your consideration, Justin Randall Timberlake. This 19 year old international pop star who makes up 1/5th of *NSYNC is probably one of the most lusted after men on the face of the planet. The vast majority of *NSYNC fans adore him. But, we ask, what makes Justin so desirable?

"He's perfect!" the masses of Justin fans squeal.

Let's look at this statement. There is no perfect human being. Everyone is flawed in one way or another. Even the most beautiful people on Earth have crooked teeth, scars, moles, and other things. But perfect? It's just not humanly possible.

Now let's look at Justin. Some girls call him a perfect angel, yet some consider him a god. Now, the question remains, is he perfect? Let's study the Crunk One himself.

First, there's his hair. Though it's curly and occasionally looks unruly, it's almost always looking perfectly in place. His eyes are a beautiful shade of blue, a shade only seen in the deep, clear waters of the Carribean. His teeth are eerily straight. He's definately got one hell of a nice body. His singing voice could be rivaled only by angels, his dancing is impeccable, and he does basically everything flawlessly.

All of that evidence makes us curious if Justin is really human. But we know he is. The question we now ask is, what's in his genes? This leads to our theory:

Justin Timberlake was genetically created perfect.

Maybe when Justin was a little boy, his mom might have taken him in to get his vaccinations, and the doctor made her a proposal. He had been messing around with another associate and they had created the ultamate vaccine: a perfection shot. When inserted into a human, it would make them "perfect" in every way possible: intelligent, talented, and also attractive. Lynn decided not to pass the offer up, and begged the doctor to give little Justin the shot.

After Justin got the shot, the effects began to show. He became a very cute little boy who liked to sing, and as he grew up, the effects began to show more and more: in his academic preformance, in his singing and dancing, and (most notably) on his body. (hence the picture above, taken when Justy was a mere fifteen years old! Fifteen!) All of this helped to make Justin who he is today: a sex symbol to thousand upon thousands of girls worldwide.

This theory may be a little far-fetched, but think about it the next time you look at a picture of Justin or watch him in concert. Someday, some lucky girl might be able to *ahem* breed with him and they'll have one hell of a perfect kid. (damn her! LMAO)

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