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Copyright 1996

A HOOT RIOT holiday play
by Jonathan M. Vick

Artwork by Tony Whitten

'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the cabin,
not a redneck was stirrin', or huntin' or trappin'.
The rifles were hung by the chimney with care,
in hopes they'd be used on a buck or a bear.
The rednecks were snorin' all stuck in their lofts,
and they stank to high heaven of whiskey and broth . . .



A holiday comedy about six brothers living together on their mountainside farm in Lickskillet, Kentucky who, while trying to shoot a deer for Christmas dinner, put a bullet hole in Santa Claus.


Ho, Ho, Huh?


As they drag the unconscious Santa home, they are followed by an armed elf.
As the elf attempts to kill Santa, Mrs. Claus shows up, spouting tales of elven unfaithfulness and her own broken heart. *Sigh*

The elf, however, reveals a different story: 'Santa Claus' is a bank robber and his "toy sacks" are full of stolen bank money.

Who do the brothers believe?
Since the boys can barely keep from killing each other, it probably doesn't matter.

The holiday's ain't just fer . . .
well, I guess they're still fer everyone,
but this time we got hillbillies.

It's a hoot riot!!



Original Cast



  • NATE -- Jonathan M. Vick
  • ZEKE -- Ken Jordan
  • BOON -- Brian McKee
  • JAKE -- Brett Nicholson
  • STUART -- Anthony Gobbi
  • BLAKE -- Bobby Aulgur
  • K.C. -- Kevin Sario
  • DIXIE -- Jamie Garcia
  • MEGAN -- Tina Mahler
Photography by Ana Cabrera


Original production at Performance Space Orlando
December, 1999

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Email: defymacbeth@aol.com


SYNOPSIS for
KENTUCKY CLAUS & THE REBEL ELVES
by Jonathan M. Vick

7 M. 2 W.
Two acts. Two sets.

A holiday comedy about six brothers living together on their mountainside farm in Lickskillet, Kentucky. The family suffered tragedy a year earlier when their parents died on Christmas Eve. Now Nate, the eldest brother, has been left to hold the fort and make a nice Christmas for what is left of "the family". With him are his five brothers: the tempermental Zeke; the airhead Boon; the appreciative Jake; the wannabe Stuart; and the innocent Blake, who still belives in Santa Claus. On Christmas Eve, these brother find themselves the vicims of their own laziness and familial tensions. Zeke believes Nate has slept with his girlfriend. Stuart is an alcoholic (a "nogaholic," according to the brothers because of his partiality for egg nog). Boon gets sprayed by a skunk and is left to wear Ma's clothes. Stuart and Jake dream of escaping Kentucky for L.A. stardom. And all of them try to keep the spirit of Christmas alive for Blake so that his innocence will persevere. Behind all of this, a major snow storm has hit, trapping the brothers' Christmas dinner in their shed. Their truck has some mechanical problems, which prohibits them from going to town to get their women. And they have made none of their holiday preparations. While trying to shoot a deer for Christmas dinner, they mistakenly put a bullet hole in Santa Claus. As they drag the unconscious Santa home, they are followed by an elf, Dixie. As the elf attempts to kill Santa, Mrs. Claus shows up, spouting tales of elven unfaithfulness and her own broken heart. The elf, however, reveals a different story: their 'Kentucky Claus' and his wife are outlaws with a sack full of stolen bank money! Blake comes up with a plan to capture them, but the brother's constant fighting ruins the plan and embarrasses Blake in front of his new found love for the elf-girl, Dixie. In the end, it's Dixie that comes to the rescue, and the brothers all pull together to save their family!

A fast-paced farcical comedy that explores the true nature of "family" on the holdays.


If you would like the read the full text of this play
please e-mail Jonathan M. Vick @ defymacbeth@aol.com