beastie adventures on the road...various snippets from articles.
Parking was at a premium for tonight's show, just ask Adam Horovitz. Adam was late to sound check, and trying to get a place to park his cruiser in the parking lot by the side door. Apparently, he parked the vehicle at the closest spot and attempted to dash inside. The parking lot attendant hit him up for five bucks and explained, "I don't care who you are, everyone pays five dollars."
In the continuing 4 on 4 Beastie Boys Basketball Extravaganza, Yauch's ankle was twisted 720 degrees in both directions. Only by the modern ankle transplant operation were doctors able to save his basketball career. "It was a bad one, but I seen worse," said head surgeon Milt Sirivastiva. After three hours in intensive care, Yauch was escorted to the Waldorf Astoria, where he started the long road to total recovery. Yauch was later overheard in his sleep mumbling, "What doesn't kill us only makes us stronger".
Trusting management types offered the use of the olympic sized pool and diving facilities of the UNO Arena to the Beastie Boys and friends, an opportunity eagerly accepted by everyone. Towels were doled out. Adrock started things off with a triple gainer off the high dive fully clothed. Mike D. soon followed. Superathlete MCA spent time in the far lap lane trying to shave time off his 200M butterfly. Things went smooth and fun until AWOL lost his necklace in the 20 ft part and everyone suffered great skull damage from the underwater pressure trying to get it. When this news crew left, Ricky Powell was preparing to enter the pool following a topless woman. We'll see what video footage we can scam from him.
This crowd wanted to see Bad Brains, as did Adam Yauch, who could be found watching Bad Brains amongst the fans, wearing full wig and baseball cap. He watched the whole set without getting his cover blown (even Ricky Powell fell for the disguise).
Backstage, a local celeb and N.O.R.M.L activist named Johnny Hemp uses thumb and forefinger to wipe away his white build up and ask the Beastie Boys if they're OK: "I'm mellow," whispers Adrock. "You're mellow? Do you need to get high. A quick pick me up? Some speed, acid, shrooms, gak?" An under-the-weather and road weary Mike D says, "No I'm gonna go back to the hotel and chill-out." The hemp man counters, "Chill out? I got some valium- how bout some Xanex?" This man is truly a travelling pharmacy. Before Adrock can grin a polite "no," Johnny Hemp's off on another tangent, throwing down elborate rhymes that celebrate the extra-curricular uses of cannabis.
Throughout the dinner a group of Vietnamese teens giggle and timidly hurl taunts at our table: "Mike D!" would hum one, "Beastie Boy Whatch you wan?" would hiss another. Finally, as we leave, the kids line up on either side of the front door, outside on the sidewalk. As each of us walks out we are asked if we are Mike D. When the real Mike D. walks out, he says no.
Meanwhile, Yauch is pissed at Mike because.... I can't tell you. Actually, he's not pissed, it's just that the last time I overheard Mike and Yauch talking, I heard Mike backpedalling, saying, "Yes, but we're not Sting, we're not Phil Collins."
Mike D. Hospitalized After Accepting Dare Mike D. spent most of his day off watching Seattle from his hospital bed. It seems that the Beastie Boys ate breakfast at Santini's Diner, "Home of the 24 Egg Omelette". According to witnesses, Mike said, "Man, I'm so hungry I could eat one of THOSE omelettes," a statement which FOH DJ Frankie immediately challenged. The ordeal was on. Mike reportedly ordered his omelette with a little cheese and some onions, an act he will most surely regret for the rest of his life. "When you get a 2 dozen egg omelete, you DON'T get nothing on it if you wanna live," said fry cook Jefe Polignano. 45 minutes (and about 18 eggs) after ordering, Mike turned white and collapsed. He was immediately rushed to an area hospital where he was held for observation until the start of the show. "He was one of the lucky ones," said head nurse Sara Rifkin,"not everyone pulls through an egg overdose." Mike is now recovering and is "feelin' OK".
In the lobby is one of those message boards with white letters pressed on to a black rubber background. You know "The Evil Hyatt of Dallas Welcomes The NRA"-kind of thing, except in this case they were welcoming a convention of amusement park architects. In time, Adrock sidled up to the message board with that inimitable gait of his, and we all started giggling as he began re-arranging the letters. Eventually he steps back and reveals his new message, which reads: "Blow Me." We laugh but Ricky Powell has an extra idea. He walks up to the board and we grow silent, hoping that he doesn't ruin it. Then Rick steps away and unveils his newer, improved message: "Yo, Blow Me!"
That day Adrock and I bonded when everybody went in search of the usual vegetarian rabbit food and we put our foot down and hit the first greasy spoon we could find. It was also here in Dallas (or maybe New Orleans), where I hung with him in his hotel room, toking and joking. He had his sampler with him and was chomping at the bit to get home so he could start listening to all the records he'd bought on the road. In the meantime, though, he was pre-occupied with whether or not Ricky was going to fuck up his laundry.
Near the end of the show Mike admits to the crowd that by tomorrow night he'll be seeing his fiance for the first time in a long time and that he's "ready to do some bonin'!"
Big exitement came at the end of the night when two big scary guys came back stage after the show. When Band Manager William Bennet asked them where their passes were, they replied "Right Here," and pulled out guns. It turns out they were undercover narcotics agents, come to raid the Beastie Boys dressing room and confiscate the doubtless pounds of smack the Beasties might have had. After finding no drugs, the narcs walked away, heads hung, disappointed, stroking their guns for reassurance.
On the trip down from New York I come up with a rhyme to bust when I arrive on the scene-something like "I went all the way to Miami/Just so I could be with the King Ad-Whammy." I show up backstage and Mike says, "Bob Mack? It's like that?" Intimidated, I forgot about busting my rhyme.
By the end of the meal we were all feelin' pretty squirelly, especially Yauch, who went over and snatched the wig from the mannequin's head and put it on his own. There were over a dozen of us at the table, and we passed around the wig so that everybody (except me) could put it on. Soonafter we tried to leave, but the fidgety maitre d stepped to us. "Excuse me guys, could we get that wig back-it's a rental..." And we're like "A rental! What, you rent it 364 days a year? Come on!" Eventually, though, Yauch hands the rug back to the relieved restaurateur. Suddenly Ricky Powell swoops in, re-snatches the wig and repeatedly yells "SALUGI" at the bewildered greeter.
. The show went really well, (except when the wack naked woman jumped onto stage causing Adam Yauch to stumble on his rhyme, "The disrespect to women has got to be through..." and Mike D. to storm off the stage for a tune).
