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  <---Click here for guestbook. If
you or someone you know, has a mentally ill child, lives in Florida, in
the Pinellas, Manatee, and Sarasota Counties. Please email us! The more
families that join together, the stronger we shall stand in fighting
the SYSTEM. E-Mail Tom's
Family |
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This website has been created not only to help our son Thomas, but to also bring awareness to all the other children and families, who are overwhelmed emotionally from a loved one suffering from "Mental Illness." That no one is alone in this battle. Our case is like many, where all involved feel frustrated when trying so hard, and coming to many dead-end roads. I speak of our family, friends, Doctors, Social & Case Workers, Case Managers, & Counselors. Most important are the people who have choose as their profession to help those with problems. They also feel the impact personally, when those they try so hard to help slip through the system. |
This is Tom, he looks like the perfect sweet normal
boy. No one can tell he is mentally ill just by looking at him. So let
me begin here, with the true story of our son and the battle for which
we are fighting to save him from this illness that slowly consumes him.
Our family takes everything he says and does very seriously! And we do
know that he is very able of doing the things he speaks of doing. If you
were to tell us several years ago that it was a discipline problem, we
would have agreed with you then. But over the years we noticed a lot of
strange things he did. He started fires, used his bedroom lamp to burn
paper and other items, we found cat hair in the microwave oven many times
and later we found out he had turned it on just long enough not to kill
the cat, we also found cat hair in the freezer. He would do these things
all the time. But, then we thought boys will be boys and sent him to his
room. It was only the course of time and talking with Doctors, that we
came to light that he was really mentally ill. It was something very hard
for our family to face that our son needs us to help him with his problem.
Many people describe what families likes ours go through is hell. Well,
it's mostly frustrating, because you feel helpless when they keep getting
worse.
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| It is Hard to Believe
To read all of his records that we have gathered over the years and to meet him in person. It would be very hard for  anyone
to believe that this cute, brown haired and brown eyed boy has such a problem.
He touches the hearts of everyone who knows him. Our family has been through
so much it may seem from someone who is looking in. We have the love and
hope which make us strong to help our son with his battle. When he was
younger there would be signs that lasted two weeks before he exploded and
would run in cycles of about 6 months. Over time the signs we looked out
for slowly disappeared and the frequency of his explosive behavior become
almost a weekly cycle. His Teachers that had taught him in the SED class
(1995-1997), worked hard with him. If it wasn't for his kind heart, sweet
personality and his willingness to accept help, this is what gave his teachers
the encouragement to stand by his side, working hard with him emotionally
and educationally. And over a course of two years, that his teachers had
taught our son Thomas, they also saw him slip deeper into this illness
His illness is not at all like cancer, where one could start chemotherapy. This is an illness where the Doctors, Therapists, Counselors, and other Medical & Mental Health Professionals have evaluated his records and now prescribe for our son, long term residential placement. Even on February 24, 1998, we have had a Baker Act Hearing with a Mental Health County Judge. He even ordered containment and agreed to long term residential placement. The County Court Cries This type of treatment our family has found out is not covered by any insurance plan. Most insurance plans only  cover
30 days per calendar year inpatient or 60 days partial hospitalization.
Not to mention our insurance company will not cover mental health care
for him. Our Son uses this up the entire month of January. When we had
gone through the legal system for help, our County Judge looked at his
record during my son's hearing in April of 1998. This caring Judge could
not believe the system, he stated 3 times during the hearing, "So, according
to his Medical Insurance Coverage, he must be cured, because he used up
his benefits for this year..." The Judge looked at Tom and asked, "Do you
feel like you are cured Tom?" Tom replied, "No, your Honor." Everyone in
the courtroom was shocked over the Judge's statement. We knew that this
Judge realized all the frustration everyone involved in getting our son
help, has been going through. It is State funded, and it must go through
the State of Florida's, "Children & Families Department of Alcohol,
Drug Abuse and Mental Illness (ADM). When this happens, the child is staffed
by a variety of members on the Crisis Review Committee (CRC). Next when
all is approved, application packets are sent to these Mental Health Residences.
And now the child is on a waiting list by priority of their case. He has
been on this list as of April 9, 1998, CRC Staff Meeting. Now we are finally
on our way to getting help. Our child can finally get what his Doctor has
prescribed for him. All is now going to be fine. Everyone that is involved
can finally relax. |
| FAT CHANCE!!!
Well, lets look again at the placement list. Ok, our son is on the top. He is next to be placed. There is a bed with his name on it at two of the places since some time in May of 1998. Well, I called the State and wrote more Political letters. The answer I got was no funds were available, for the new fiscal year. I was told the same during a CRC Staffing on my son on August 13, 1998 meeting. So in the mean time Tom has to be in the care of others. Away from his family since April 1998, still waiting for the funds for his treatment. And was placed finally October 12,1998, and is still currently in long term residential treatment as of January 19th, 2000. On March 1, 2000 he has finally graduated and is currently in a step-down program. 10/1998 to present his reading levels have gone from first grade to now eighth grade reading levels. His teacher's and all involved I consider a blessing from God in his growth to recovering and enjoying life. November 2000 he was moved to another step-down program. Disapointing not only his family but the great people that worked hard with him. They were pushed to their limits emotional, and were saddened that they could not carry on with Tom. I am so proud of having the honor to meet such wonderful people. Currently as of March 2001, Tom is now doing good in a different treatment program. Because of his age he now is working towards independant living. The place he is at is wonderful, and so are the people! I now realize that there is so much more treatments for children with mental illness now, then there was back in 1992. I know if these services were available back in 1992, Tom may be on a better road faster. Just now it may take a longer time. Getting the Media involved. In April 1998, I was interviewed in my home by Tampa's WFTS-TV (ABC) Channel 28 , news anchor woman Linda Hurtado for the 5:30 pm evening news, with the story title of "Fighting the System." I got allot of airtime, and still found a dead end to helping our son. The news anchor woman Linda Hurtado contacted me a few days later with a name and phone number of a family in the next County. I called the phone number and found out that this caring family has been going through more than several years of emotional stress just trying to get their child help also. They have also found many dead end roads. Where is their child now. Their child is still at home, receiving the basics in therapy, not what is needed. |
| DID YOU KNOW THAT:
"The Florida Department of Children & Families: Children's Mental Health Program Office," has a 166 page booklet (to help families, teachers, etc.) that has been reprinted with the permission by "The Florida Department of Education. The title is, "The Navigator: A Guide for Families of Children with Emotional Disturbance or Mental Illness." For a list of available publications, or for copies of this booklet, contact: Clearinghouse/Information Center Bureau of Instructional Support and Community Services Florida Department of Education Room 622 Turlington Building Tallahassee, FL 32399-0400 Telephone: (850) 488-1879 FAX: (850) 487-2679 Suncom: 278-1879 Websitehttp://www.firn.edu/doe/bin00014/pub-home.htm |
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Take a minute to ask yourself these little questions. Were they placed on a list waiting for the needed funding to help them also? And just how many of our children have we lost in this great United States of America from the help, that could have saved their precious young lives? |
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Current as of August 20, 2006. Updated on September 6th, 2002. Visitors since March 12th, 1998. |
tried
to tell him that we still love him and that everyone in his family is trying
hard to help him. He apologized to me for hurting me and his baby brother,
when he had a violent explosion in the house, that happened on February
18, 1998 while he was still in the Day Treatment Program at Manatee Glens
Hospital. That is when my Thomas attacked me and threw a kitchen chair
and baby walker at his 9-month-old baby brother Steven. It was hard being
4 months pregnant restraining him from doing more damage and having a foot
stool as the only barrier to protect his baby brother who sat in his car
seat carrier on the other side. I dialed 911 on the cordless phone, which
was the only phone he had not torn out of the wall. It is very hard to
have a son that has a type of illness that a kiss and bandage cannot fix.
And our family feels so helpless. We have to sleep at night with our younger
son in our bedroom with us, with our bedroom door locked like always, but
in the case he were to pull the phones out of the walls again. We now have
a cellular phone for the extra protection.