“You know what Kris I think you’re right, this doesn’t exactly say innocent to me.” I said revealing the rather large hickey Ben had left on my neck.
“Oh my god Jen, tell him, do it for me, and for you before you find yourself in a big mess. How in the hell are you going to hide that from Lance?”
“ I have no clue.”
We left the bathroom after our conversation and much to my surprise Ben placed his arm around me once again, I didn’t say anything at that moment cause I didn’t think it was the time or place so I just let him be.
“Well we’ve really got to be going, it’s almost 8.” I said as I looked at my watch.
“Yeah I guess we should, I’ll call you guys later on.” Kristin replied.
“Jen, you’re still giving me that ride home right?” Ben asked.
“Oh yeah of course, come on.” I said as I began to walk off.
Ben got in the back seat of my car and Kristin took the passenger seat once again.
“Shit Jen, my stuff is at your house.” Kristin remarked.
“No problem we’ll swing by my house for a few get your stuff then I’ll take you two home. Nothing to worry about.”
Within 10 minutes we pulled in the driveway and all went inside. Kristin headed to the bathroom downstairs.
“Hey Krissy.” I yelled to her. She stopped and turned around. “Once you get your stuff just go relax in the living room, we’ll be in my room but we’ll be down in a few.”
“Ok whatever.”
“Come on Ben.” I said as I walked up the steps leading to my room.
I walked into the dark room and turned on the lights.
“Sit down on the bed, I’ve gotta go to the bathroom I’ll be right back.” I said.
I closed the bathroom door behind me. I needed to think of what to say to Ben. I had to tell him that there was nothing and could never be anything between us and that I didn’t mean to send mixed signals. This couldn’t be planned so I just took a deep breath and opened the door to see him laying on my bed with a big smile on his face, I think I gave him even more mixed signals by bringing him in there.
“Well just make yourself at home, I said sit on the bed not lay down. Now sit up, we really need to talk.” Ben sat up and looked me in the eyes.
“Ok so what do you want to talk about?”
“You and me, there is a serious problem here and I need to work this out before it gets even worse.”
“Oh I know what you’re saying, you’re in love with me but you’ve got your boyfriend to worry about right.”
“No, but you’ve got the gist of what I need to talk to you about. Ben, Kristin called it to my attention that I may be sending you mixed signals about us. I mean I like you and all...but I like you as my friend.” I watched as his smile turned into a frown. “ I mean I’ve been going out with Lance for about a year and he’s my life, and I don’t want to lose a great thing you know? But Ben tell me how can I hide this from him?” I asked showing him the mark he left on me. He sat there in silence.
Meanwhile downstairs Kristin had all her stuff together and went into the living room where Chris, JC, Joey, Justin, Erica, Tiffany, and Lance were watching TV.
“Hey guys.” she said.
“Hey Kristin, how’s it going?” Joey asked.
“It’s going good, how about you? why didn’t you call me?” she questioned as she took a seat on the couch next to him.
“Well probably cause you never gave me your number.” he laughed.
“OH yeah that would’ve helped. But you still could’ve gotten my number from Jen ya know.” she laughed.
“Yeah, yeah, so you’re gonna be here tomorrow night for Jen’s party right?”
“Wouldn’t miss it for the world. What time is it at again?”
“7 PM don’t be late.” Lance uttered. “Speaking of Jen, where is she?”
“Oh she’s up in her room with Ben, she told me to chill in here for awhile till they were done, then she’s driving us home.” Everyone looked at Kristin. “What are you looking at?” she asked them.
“Jen is upstairs in her room with Ben? What are they doing?” Tiffany asked.
“Oh I have no clue I’m just suppose to stay down here like a good little girl.”
“Well I have a feeling Jen’s being a little devil. I told her not to go around screwing these other guys but does she listen to me?” Justin said in a sarcastic manner.
Lance stood up “I’m going to go find out what’s going on.” he said.
“What’s the matter? Don’t trust her?” Chris asked.
“Of course I trust her but don’t you find it a little strange that at the dance she told him never to come near her again and now they’re upstairs, alone, in her room?”
“I don’t find it odd at all I mean at the movies they were all over......nevermind.” Kristin said turning her attention to the TV.
“He was what?” Lance asked.
“Huh? Oh it was nothing really. Ben just had his arm around Jen for awhile after the movies let out that’s all then I took her in the bathroom and told her I thought he was getting mixed signals, that’s it, honest.”
With that Lance left the living room.
Back in my room Ben was still thinking of what to say.
“Ben? Hello? Are you getting me here?”
“Yeah I’m getting you but are you sure there is nothing I can do to change your mind, come on there has to be something.”
I through myself back on the bed and covered my eyes and screamed. “No Ben leave me alone.” then I quietly said “there is nothing you can do I Love...”
Just then the door flew open and I quickly sat up.
“Lance.” I yelled as I jumped up from the bed and through my arms around him expecting for him to do the same but he pushed me aside.
“What do you think you are doing? Don’t even try to touch me.”
“What? What are you talking about? Lance, what’s your problem?” I said almost in tears. This was the first time since I had been going out with him that he blew me off like he was.
“My problem? Could you tell me what is going on in here. I’m down stairs and Kristin says you’re up here with him and Justin says something about screwing other guys and I walk in here to see you laying on the bed and him right beside you and you’re saying how you love him.”
“Oh, no, no, no. Lance, I was up here telling him there was nothing between us cause Kristin told me he said something to her. When you walked in here I was telling him that there is nothing he can do to win me over and you know why?” I said as I pulled my hair back with a hair tie.
“I don’t care why Jen, you still told Benny boy over there you loved him. And then Justin said something about telling you not to screw other guys, I don’t know what gave him the impression that you would, and I come up here and you’re laying on the bed with him. And Oh my god I can not believe you, you cheated on me behind my back and then you come back here with the proof on your neck.”
“La...La...Lance” I stuttered at a loss for words. I didn’t know how I was going to get myself out of the predicament I was in. “Well whether you want to hear it or not the reason I told him nothing could happen between us is because I love you Lance. I thought you knew that and I thought that love was a mutual thing between us, but maybe I was wrong. And as for this...” I said pointing to my neck “ I don’t know how I could ever explain this to you to make it right all I can say is I’m sorry.”
“Well I don’t exactly think ‘sorry’ is going to cut it this time.”
“Well either way I’m sorry, Come on Ben I’m taking you home.”
Ben got up from the bed and followed me out the door.
“Good-bye.” I said closing the door behind me letting the tears fall freely. I walked into the living room to tell Kristin that we were getting out of there now.
“Kristin come on, we’re leaving, NOW.” I said between sobs.
“Jen, what’s going on?” Tiff asked me.
“I’m leaving, You guys take care of the house for me. Bye.” I said as I walked out of the front door with Ben and Kristin close behind.
“How bout I drive, ok?” Kristin said.
“Thanks Kris.” I said grabbing a tissue from my purse.
We were a good 5 miles away from my house until Kristin said another word.
“Do you wanna tell me why we ran out of the house so fast?”
I took a deep breath. “Well I was upstairs and I was talking to Ben and I was saying how Lance was my life and everything and I was saying ‘There is nothing you can do I Love..” and boom Lance busts in the room and I get up and I go and I hug him and he brushes me off and tells me Justin said something about me screwing other guys and you said I was up here with him and I tried to clear up the whole situation and he didn’t believe me because he saw this damn hickey, so I told him that I loved him and that he obviously didn’t love me like I originally thought and I walked out of the room and I said Good-bye and I left and the tears have been pouring ever since.”
“Well I hate to say this but you had it coming Jen” Kristin asked.
“I know, but I mean the best year of my life is now gone. and the one person in this world I’m in love with hates me now.”
“Jen I am so sorry about all of this, this is all my fault.” Ben said
“No Ben it isn’t, I should’ve stopped you but I didn’t and I led you on and now look at what happened, it’s my fault just as much.”
“Jen I’m not gonna let you be upset like this, you’re gonna spend the night at my house and we’re going to have a girls night. You and me and you’re going to forget about Lance. You up for it?” Kristin asked.
“I’m not sure if I can forget about him but hell yeah I’ll give it a shot! Oh no wait, what about your parents I can’t just pop up like this.”
“They wouldn’t mind besides they’re out of town for the weekend”
“Oh, that’s cool then. I won’t stay long I promise.”
“Jen, it’s cool, we’re buds, you can stay as long as you need to.”
“Thanks Kris.”
“Oh Ben not to leave you out or anything ya know but it’s a girl thing.” Kristin said.
“I understand, no guys allowed kinda stuff, cool with me.”
We pulled up to Ben’s house and he got out of the car and I rolled down my window.
“Bye Ben, hey call me tomorrow around 7pm I should be home by then.”
“OK I’ll be sure to , later girls.”
We pulled away from Ben’s house and took a short drive, a few developments away, to Kristin’s house.
“Kristin I can’t thank you enough for letting me stay with you.” I said as I followed Kristin into the large brick house.
“I told you, anytime.”
I smiled and followed her up to her room. Her room was big about the same size of mine. The walls were covered with a pale lavender color which made a great background color to all the posters on her wall of people from Ryan Phillippe and Leonardo DiCaprio to her ‘N Sync posters. Kristin had two twin beds in her room from when she use to share the room with her older sister Melanie who went off to college two years ago.
“Jen, you know what?” Kristin asked me.
“What?”
“You didn’t bring anything with you.” Kristin said as she walked into her closet. “But wait look at this Jen” she said as she pulled a box from the top shelf of her closet.
“What is it?” I asked her with curiosity.
“It’s some of your clothes, you’ve got like 3 pairs of shorts, 5 shirts, a bathing suit, PJ’s, underwear, socks, and all this other crap in here.”
“Why is my stuff here?”
“Remember last year, you always came over here and you always forgot your stuff and you just decided to leave stuff here so if you forgot anything you’d have stuff to wear. Came in real handy when you ran away last year.”
I laughed “Well isn’t this my lucky day. Looks like I’ve got enough clothes to stay for a week, which I might just end up doing.”
“Oh shut up and go get dressed.” she said as she through me a pair of boxer shorts and a shirt.
I walked from the bathroom all freshened up and feeling better already.
“Hey I’ve got an idea, let’s do something we haven’t done in a long time.” Kristin suggested.
“And what would that be?”
“Let’s go online and harass some people like old times.”
We raced downstairs to the office where the computer was and pulled two chairs up and signed on. As soon as we were on she pulled up her buddy list to see if anyone was on, both of us looked at the list and were surprised at what we saw.
“Umm.. Jen? Isn’t that your sn?” she asked as she pointed to my screen name.
“Yeah, but why is it saying I’m online, I mean I’m not.”
“Let’s message it and see who it is.”
...CONVERSATION...(I’m not going to use real sn’s so KK means Kristin and JH is going to be my SN.)
KK: Hello, who is this?
JH: Well, who is this?
KK: I believe I asked you first but if you’re going to be stubborn this is Kristin.
JH: Kristin who?
KK: Kristin Karter, now enough about me, who the hell are you?
JH: Kristin, as in Jen’s friend Kristin?
KK: Yes, you obviously know me but who are you cause it’s obvious you’re not Jen.
JH: This is Joey.
I grabbed the keyboard and took over typing
KK: Joey, what the hell are you doing on my SN? HUH?
JH: Jen? Wait I thought I was talking to Kristin.
KK: You were but now you’re talking to me, why are you on it Joey?
JH: Oh I was bored and I thought I’d come online for awhile, you don’t mind do you?
KK: No, I was just a little shocked you know.
JH: Yeah, so when are you coming home?
KK: I dunno maybe a week possibly longer, why?
JH: Why? cause I mean this is your house and we are guests in your house and we can’t exactly take charge here and plus I dunno you just need to come home.
KK: Yeah well tough I’m not coming home anytime soon. Tell Chris, JC, and Justin that I’m sorry to run out like this and especially Erica and Tiff.
JH: Ok I’ll tell them.
At my house Lance walked into my room where Joey was on the computer.
“What are you doing Joey?” asked Lance.
“Me? Nothing just online and talking.”
“Anyone good on.”
“Yeah there is.” he replied quickly as he typed back.
JH: Jen watch what you say, Lance just walked in the room he can’t see this but if he comes any closer he will.
KK: I don’t care about him Joey. Ben got me in trouble with him and now we’re over with, the most important person in my life gone.
JH: Well you’ve still got me if you need anyone.
KH: Yeah I know, you’re my bud.
“Joey” Lance yelled. “Who are you talking to for the third time.”
“Oh just Kristin and” he paused. “Jen” he muttered from under his breath.
“Kristin and who?”
“Kristin and Jen, god dude are you deaf?”
“Get up Joey I need to talk to her.” he said as he sat down and began typing.
JH: Jen, it’s me. We need to talk about this, I really miss you.
There was no response.
JH: Come on don’t ignore me.
KK: Lance is that you?
JH: Yeah it’s me Jen.
KK: OH Hey Lance, umm Jen left.
JH: Where did she go?
KK: She ran out of the room crying and I followed her up to my room right after she told Joey she didn’t care about you.
JH: Kristin, please go up there and get her to come down and talk to me.
KK: I’ll try but I’m not promising anything.
Kristin walked into her room and was greeted with the sight of all the N Sync posters off of her wall and on the floor along with me in bed sobbing.
“Jen, you ok?” She said as she sat on the edge of the bed. I continued to cry. “Jen come down stairs. Lance is on now and he wants to talk to you.”
“NO!” I shouted.” I never want to talk to him again Kristin, don’t you understand that?”
“Damn you Jen I’m not saying you have to go home yet just talk to him.”
“Kristin, I”m sorry I just can’t, please, can I just be alone for awhile.”
She took a deep breath.
“Ok, you win. Good night.”
She returned to the computer...
KK: She won’t come down. She’s majorly upset right now. I walked into my room and every poster of you guys was down on the floor and Jen was in bed sobbing and she begged me to leave her be so I’m sorry.
JH: Ok thanks. Can you try to get her here tomorrow though for her party though? Cause her mom’s coming tomorrow night and everything and also try to get her to call me tomorrow, please? And also tell her that I DO love her.
KK: Ok, I’ll get her there either she’ll agree or I’ll drag her kicking and screaming. But I’ve got to go now I’m really tired. Good-night!
JH: Night.
Kristin signed off and came up and crawled up into her bed.
“Jen?” she whispered.
“What Kris?”
“Lance said he wants you to call home tomorrow and talk to him and that he DOES love you.”
“That’s easy to say but I don’t think he could love me after what I did to him.”
“Jen just call him, please?”
“I’ll think about it!”
The next morning I slept till 1pm despite Kristin’s efforts to get me out of bed earlier. I got up, showered, and got a pair of khaki shorts and a blue T-shirt out of the box and got dressed then headed downstairs to meet Kristin.
“Well hey there sleepy head. Feeling any better?”
“I still feel like total shit but I’m better I guess.”
“Well let’s get out of here. Where do you want to go for your birthday breakfast?”
“Oh yeah today’s my birthday isn’t it? I don’t care surprise me.”
Kristin grabbed her keys and headed for the door.
“Umm Kristin?” I yelled.
“What?”
“I’ll be out in a minute there is something I have to do.”
“Ok sure, I’ll be waiting in the car.”
I walked into the living room and sat on the couch and reached for the phone beside me. I picked up the phone and slowly dialed the number. As the phone rang I felt my stomach grow weak and I was just about to hang up when someone picked up.
“Hello?” the voice on the other side asked.
“Joey? Is that you?” I asked.
“Jen, hey what’s up?”
“Umm not too much I’m getting ready to go out to breakfast with Kristin. Is Lance nearby?”
“Well he’s still asleep, we tried to wake him but he’s kinda shook up over the whole thing with ya two, but hold on a second and I’ll get him.”
“Wait Joey, NO!” I yelled into the receiver.
“Why what’s wrong?”
“Nothing, it’s just umm.. Kristin came in here and yelled for me to come on.”
“I didn’t hear her yell.”
“Well, ok, she didn’t but I ...I can’t, listen just tell Lance I got his message and that I love...I’ll talk to him later.”
“Ok Jen, come home soon, please?”
“Ok Joey, see ya, Bye.” I hung up the phone and slowly made my way to the car.
“So what did you have to do?” Kristin asked me.
“Oh nothing, just had to check my hair.” I lied as I gazed out the window.
“What did you say to him Jen?”
“I didn’t say anything to him, Joey answered and said Lance was in bed and he offered to go get him but I stopped him and said I had to go and I started to tell him to tell Lance that I loved him but I ended up saying ‘tell Lance I love..I’ll talk to him later’, I just couldn’t go through with it.”
“aww well you’ll talk to him soon enough and you two will be all kissy kissy again I promise you.” I smiled and continued to stare out the window. Within minutes we found a spot and went into Denny’s where we ordered our favorite, the original Grand Slam and a chocolate milkshake.
“Hey girls, how’s it going?” I heard a voice say from behind me. I turned around and there stood Ben.
“Hey Ben, thing’s are going a little better, here sit down.” Ben sat down and we talked and decided that we would all take a ride up to the lake for awhile. After we were at the lake for about 4 hours Kristin looked at her watch and said “Looks like we should be going.” and we all got in the car and drove off. Minutes later we pulled into a gas station and Ben got out to use the rest room. Once he was out of sight he called my house to tell the guys we would be there any minute. He got back into the car and we continued to drive once again. Within a few minutes we pulled up to my house.
“What are we doing here? I don’t want to come home yet! I’m not ready to face him again Kristin please take me back to your house just one more day please!” I pouted.
“Jen, you can’t avoid him forever. Besides there are what? 6 other people in that house besides him. Plus we’ll stick around with you till you feel ok.”
I sat there with a frown on my face until Ben grabbed my hands and pulled me out of the car.
“I’ll hold your hand, ok.” he said like a baby. I laughed and nodded my head.
Kristin opened the door and I walked in with my hand still in Ben’s. By this time it was dark outside and the lights in the house were off I reached for the light switch with my free hand and turned the lights on and then all of a sudden all these people appeared and yelled “SURPRISE” I screamed from the scare they gave me as a smile graced my face.
“Happy 17th Birthday Jen.” Ben said kissing me on the cheek. Kristin shut the door and we walked through the crowd of people. We said “HI” to everyone and I was surprised to see one of my close friends Alana there who had been on a vacation in Hawaii for the past month along with my other friends from school Melissa, Katie, Sara, and everyone, including my neighbor/friend Alissa. This was the first surprise party I had ever had in my life and to be surrounded by all the people I cared about the most on my birthday was a real treat. After I talked to everyone they all seemed to drift into little groups so I walked over to Joey and Chris to talk to them.
“Hey guys.” I said interrupting their conversation.
“Jen. Happy Birthday.” he said as he gave me a hug. “How are you doing?”
“I’m not good at all but this party is really helping me. Did you give Lance my message?”
“Yup.”
“Happy Birthday Jen.” I heard a familiar voice from behind me say.