You have become so much to me...you are so many things all wrapped up
in a beautiful, incredible Master. I truly do not deserve you at
all, and I am amazed every morning when I wake up and feel you
with me. Amazed that you keep me and have not sent me away.
julia thinks I am a good sub.....I think I am not good enough for
you Master, nor will I ever be, and yet I wish I could be, I
try so hard to be...I just always fall short.
I do not want to be a silly vp sub.....missing her Master and
whinning and crying after him.......yet that is exactly how I
feel about you...what was it you told julia one night.....the
difference between a sub and a slave......something about a slave
pines for her Master when he is gone....god it is
true.....it is fukin true. I missed you before you left me....I
could feel myself trying to hold onto you and yet knowing I could
not. I do not want to be a cry baby, I do not want to be such a
pain in my need for you, yet I do not seem to be able to help
it....I do honest to god need you Master, for so many things.

To love me, care for me, teach and train me, correct me when I am too
much of a brat, to hold me when I am happy and also when I am
sad. To be my strength, my wisdom, my heart and my breath. To
be my Master, my lover, my love and my friend. There are so many
things you are to me, will always be to me and I can only
hope I give you something in return besides constant grief.

I shall try to stay busy, do something useful with my time until you
come home...please be careful, happy, and enjoy your free time
from me...~grinning~