. die .


===Reasons it sucks to be TC:

1. My girlfriends keep turning 18.
2. My personal checks come with the words "insufficient funds" pre-stamped on the front.
3. Knowing that I will never get my security deposit back.
4. New PG-13 rating means 16 yr old girls no longer need me to get into the movies.
5. My colleagues ignore my orders to "cease fire" when I check the targets at the gunrange.
6. Getting free miss teen fashion catalogues, due to my "preferred customer" status.
7. Due to my latest credit report, they no longer accept cash from me.
8. Letters from the Pope asking me to convert to Judaism.
9. My Publishers Clearing House envelopes are adressed "Dear Loser,"
10. My girlfriends only ask me for help with HISTORY homework.
11. the 200% apr on my $25 limit secured VISA.
12. Having to have my girlfriends home by curfew.
13. Constantly being referred to as "the assailant."
14. Having people tell my date she has "my" eyes.
15. The dirty looks I get from the guys at NAMBLA.
16. Explaining the little green leafy stuff when showing co-workers my "classic" album collection.
17. Being served with a restraining order listing the local church pastors.
18. Truant officer's constantly calling my home looking for miss.....
19. The section at the liquor store labeled "TRACE"
20.Cops making me remove the makeup so they can verify my ID.

==== The lighter side of being TC:

1. Watching the Jehovah's witnesses run in terror when I come to the Door.
2. Teaching postal workers to become fire arms proficient.
3. Getting free miss teen fashion catalogues, due to my "preferred customer" status.
4. Since the Colombine shootings......BIG clearance sales on trenchcoats.
5. Getting dates into the movies at the student rate.
6. Bulk discounts on black eye liner, lipstick, and nail polish.
7. Being considered a GURU to all the young fetish freaks.
8. Never having to look for Halloween costumes.
9. Knowing that everyone wonders if there is a shotgun under that trenchcoat.
10. Finding cool books that didn't burn after the christian fundamentalist picnic.
11. The looks on people's faces when I tell them I'm a Republican.
12. The looks on people's faces when they find out I actually vote.
13. LEATHER
14. Finding out I dated my girlfriend's mother in High School.
15. Getting fan mail from some guy named Chuck Manson.