My Life With A Backstreet Boy

My life with a Backstreet Boy! by Nikki

(Notes by the author: This part of the story takes place on a Friday night in Orlando, FL in March of 1997.)

(CHAPTER 1)

Time was going by so slow. It seemed like 9:45p would never get here. "Don't worry Kathy, you only have 15 minutes left to wait." Sonia said to me. "I know, It's just that I haven't seen Kevin for almost two months!" I said anxiously. "He'll be back in your arms in no time" Sonia reassured me. I look at my watch, than at Sonia and than at the sign that says 'Gate 4.' "Damn... 10 minutes left." Sonia told me to be patient. I look at my watch again, than at Sonia and than the sign. "It's almost time" I say nervously. I start to get excited, my heart starts to beat rapidly. The flight attendant catches my eye, as I see her walking through the hallway. I can hardly contain myself now as I start to see people walk through the door, right past me. Sonia whispers to me "I told you he would be here." "I still don't see him Sonia!" So many unknown faces pass me by, none of them are the face of Kevin. As the crowd starts to disappear, I start to get scared. "Sonia I don't see him." I start to panic as the last of the passengers leave. "What if something happened to him?" She looks at me with pain in her eyes as tears start to fall down my cheeks. I see the airplane pilot and I run to him. "Is there anyone else on the plane?" "No, I'm sorry, I am the last person." Scary thoughts go through my mind as I walk back to Sonia. "Where can he be?" She gives me a hug as I start to cry. "Why did he have to leave, he should have stayed with me!" I said in a cracking voice. "Kathy, you know he had to go on tour. At least he wasn't going to be gone for four months, like the last time!" Sonia said trying to make light of the situation. "But he isn't even here, and I don't know if he is all right!" I said with concern. "Don't worry, I'm sure he left a message on your machine." She said trying to ease my conscience. As we start to walk back to the car, I hear someone call my name. "Kathy" I turned around and there he was, walking through the door. I immediately start to run to him. "Oh Kevin" I said as I ran into his waiting arms. I pull away from him and just stared at him. He pulls me closer and gives me a long passionate kiss.....! ......To be continued

(Chapter 2)

"What happened, I thought you weren't going to come?" I asked him. "I had to go back and get something I left on the plane" he said. "But the pilot said that he was the last person to get off the plane." "I don't think he saw me go back" he replied. "When you didn't walk through that door, I thought something had happened to..." "I know and I'm sorry, but I am here now" he interrupted. "What was so important that you had to go back for, that scared me to death that something happened to you?" "Shhh..." He put his finger on my lips to stop me from talking. "I'll show you later!" "Please, show me now?" I whispered. He just smiled at me and looked over my shoulder at Sonia, who was standing there quietly, while Kevin and I talked. "Hi Sonia" Kevin said, changing the subject. "Hi Kevin! you had Kathy so worried" she replied. "I know, and I've apologized. Thank you for coming with her to pick me up" he said. "You're welcome. She's my best friend, I would do anything for her!" He gave her a hug and said "I'm glad she has a friend like you!" Then he turned to me and said "Let's go home!" On the way home, we were all silent. We dropped Sonia off at her house, said our good-byes, and drove off. I looked at Kevin and he turned and smiled at me. "So are you ever gonna talk to me again?" he said. "Not until you show me what you went back to the plane for!" I replied. "I can see that you are still as stubborn as before!" he said. "You know how long my stubbornness can last!" "I did marry you for better or for WORSE" he said playfully. I looked at him with scrutinizing eyes. "You better watch it or you will be sleeping on the couch tonight!" He laughed and said, "I missed you so much." "I missed you too! "I replied. "I love you" he said. "I love you too." As we walk into the house, I tell Kevin, "I am so glad to be home AND have my husband with me!" He gave me an appreciative smile and said, "Honey, let's go to bed!" He reached out his hand and I slipped mine into his and we went upstairs to bed....... To be continued ....

(Chapter 3)

I was tossing and turning, "I have to find him ... tell him ... he must know ...!" I woke up in a panic. A light sweat covered my face. My breathing was labored. "Kathy are you all right?" Kevin asked in a sleepy voice, but I could not answer. "Kathy...Kathy..." he said as he stared into my eyes. "I...I'm all right" I replied as my breathing was coming back to normal. He was looking at me with worried eyes. "What happened?" Taking a deep breath, I answered, "I had a bad dream, that's all. Please just hold me!" He took me in his arms and asked me if I wanted to tell him about the dream I had. "Sonia and I were at the airport again. Only this time the pilot told me that you didn't make it out of the airplane in time." Kevin held me tighter. "I was running after the pilot to find out what he meant, but I couldn't reach him. Then he just disappeared." "Well, I'm here now, it was only a dream" he said in a comforting voice. "I know, but promise me that you will never leave me again!" I said with a scared look on my face. "You know that I have to go back on the road with the guys" he said. "I know...and I wouldn't want you to put the tour on hold for me" I said in a whispered voice. "But I promise you that I will call you every chance I get to let you know that I am OK." he said in a reassuring voice. I just looked at him and smiled. "Do you want to finish telling me about the dream?" he asked. "OK" I said in a shaky voice. "When the pilot disappeared, I was all alone in this dark room. I couldn't find my way out." I moved in so close to him, that I could feel his heart beat. "I heard you call my name, so I turned around but I couldn't see you. All I heard was Kathy... I'm over here!" I paused for a minute, just so I could hear Kevin breathing. "Did you find me?" He said. "No, I never found you. I kept telling myself that I had to find you, tell you, let you know..." I vaguely heard him say, "Tell me what? What should I know?" as I drifted off to sleep in his strong, comforting, loving arms..... to be continued....

(Chapter 4)

As I woke up, I saw Kevin's green eyes staring at me. He smiled warmly at me. "How are you feeling?" he asked. "Like I've slept for two years." I answered. He laughed. "Well, you didn't, you only slept for about three hours." "How long have you been awake?" I asked. "Long enough to realize something about you!" My eyes widened. Does he know? Can he tell? "Realize what?" I said in a cracking voice. "How beautiful you look when you are sleeping!" he said. As relief washed over my face, I can tell that I was blushing. "You're barely realizing that NOW?" I said. "No, I am not just realizing that now! It's just that it's been so long since I've been able to wake up with you next to me" he said in a sad voice. "I know but it's your dream to be on the road with the guys. You guys have been working so hard and for so long to get where you are today, and all the hard work is finally paying off." "Yeah we have worked hard for all the success we have! I hate having to leave you when I have to go on the road. I get so lonely not having you in my bed with me night after night, like when we were first married" he said with sorrow in his eyes. "It's not easy for me either. At least you have the guys to talk to. I have no one here." "You have Sonia to talk to" he said. "I know but she has her own life to deal with, her own problems. She doesn't need to hear about mine." "What problems do you have? I'm here now, if you want to talk about it" he said. "I don't mean problems, it's just that I worry about you when I don't hear from you. I keep thinking, What if something happened to him? What will I do without him? Then I hear from you and everything is fine, but then it starts again all over again when you don't call me the next day!" I said with tears in my eyes. "I worry about you too, being here all alone!" he said. "I knew when we first got married that the day will come when you would be on the road more than you are home. I just never knew it would be this hard. I work and then I come home to an empty house. All this stress isn't good for me, especially now!" I said without even thinking. He looked at me with confusion in his eyes. "What do you mean? Is there something wrong with you?" I began to panic, not now, he can't find out now ... think Kathy think .... "No, nothing is wrong with me, I'm fine" I said in a calm voice. "Then what did you mean by the stress isn't good for you now?" he asked. "I just meant that I worry about you so much, that I don't sleep at night or eat right and I know it's not good for me! That's all I meant." He was staring at me, searching for the truth. "What! It's just that I miss my husband when I am alone at night" I said in a provocative voice, as I tenderly ran my fingers through his hair, staring deeply into his eyes, trying to avoid another question. "Don't try and change ... the subject" he said breathlessly as I started to kiss his neck. "It's not ... working" he said as I start to rub my ankle up and down his calves. "I still ... want to..." "Know why I haven't welcomed my husband home properly" I interrupted as I ran my fingers up and down his back, "Is it working now?" I said seductively. "NO..." he said unconvincingly as he brought his lips to mine and started kissing me passionately...... To be continued.....

(Chapter 5)

Late Saturday afternoon ... ring ... ring.... "Hello" Kevin answered the phone in a sleepy voice. "Yeah ... we got in late last night... I don't know yet ... maybe tomorrow, I wanna spend some time with Kathy... No, I haven't told her yet!" "Kevin" I asked in a quiet voice "Who is it?" "It's Brian... Go back to sleep!" he said while brushing my hair off my face. "She's right here, so I can't really discuss it right now! I gotta go, Talk to ya later" he said in a whispered voice as he hung up the phone. "What did Brian want?" I asked him. "Oh.... Nothing, he just wanted to know what we were doing today" he said. "Oh! What couldn't you discuss in front of me?" I asked. "He just wanted to talk about business stuff! I don't want to talk about business, not when I am home with my beautiful wife!" he said in a loving voice as he kissed me lightly on the lips. "So, what do you want to do today?" he asked me. " I want to stay right here!" I answered. He laughed, "We can't stay in bed all day!" "Why not" I asked. "Don't you want to go out and do something?" he said. "I'm selfish... I want my husband all to myself" I said as I pulled him closer. "If you insist" he said and smiled and gave me a deep passionate kiss. "I love you so much!" he said. "I love you too...." Feeling contentment, I say to Kevin, "I'm starving, let's go get something to eat!" I said. "Oh now you want to get out of bed" he said playfully. "Who said we weren't coming back after we eat!" I said with a laugh and a wink as I walked out of the bedroom door. "God it's so good to be home" he yelled back at me. A few minutes later, I came back with a tray, full of food. As I walk through the door, to my surprise, I find Kevin asleep, holding my pillow in his arms. I set the tray of food down, walked to the bed and stared at my adorable husband. I gently removed my pillow from his arms, trying not to wake him. I slipped into his arms and drifted off to sleep. I woke up to find Kevin gone. I got out of bed and went downstairs to find ... an unfamiliar woman in the arms of my husband. I guess I made some kind of noise, they both turned and looked at me. Kevin immediately stepped back from the woman and walked towards me. "It's not what you think! I can explain!" I heard him say as I ran to get my car keys and headed for the door. "Wait!" I heard him yell as I got in my car and drove off. With tears running down my cheeks, I kept saying in my head how could he do that to me? What did I do to make him turn to another woman? I pulled into Sonia's driveway, to find her car gone. I sat there in my car crying, thinking about the life that me and Kevin had. The first time I met him, our first date, the first time he kissed me. More tears come pouring down my face. I started to band my hands against the steering wheel, "Why, how could he do this to me... Oh, God why....." I screamed at the top of my lungs. I heard a tapping on my window, to find Sonia looking at me. "Kathy ... what's wrong?" Sonia said with concern in her eyes. I got out of my car and ran into her arms. I let out a sobbing cry. "Shhh ... let's go inside" she said as we went into her house. "Tell me what happened?" I took a deep breath and answered, "I feel like my heart is being ripped out of my chest!" I said as more tears ran down my face. "Is it Kevin?" she asked. I nodded, "Yeah, I found him in the arms of some woman!" I said in a shaky voice. "What!" she said with disgust in her eyes. "Everything was fine ... we had just finished making love and we fell asleep. I woke up and he was gone. I went downstairs to find him, and he was holding some woman, that I have never seen before" I said. "Did he try to explain?" she asked. "I didn't need an explanation. I saw it with my own eyes!" I said in an angry voice. "All I heard him say was, that it wasn't what it looked like and that he could explain" I continued. "Oh, I am so sorry Kathy" Sonia said. "What am I going to do? I can't tell him now!" I said with regret. You haven't told him that you are pregnant?" Sonia asked. "No, and now I don't know if I ever will!" I said as I started to cry..... To be continued.......

(Chapter 6)

.....ring .....ring ... "Hello" "Hey Bri, it's Kev, by any chance is Kathy there?" "No, why?" "I can't explain now, I have to find her. If she calls you or goes to your house, give me a call on my cell phone" Kevin said. "What's going on Kev?" Brian asked. "I'll tell you everything, after I find her.... OK. I gotta go" he hung up the phone ... ring ... ring ... "Sorry we're not home right now.... "Damn machine" Kevin said. (beep) "Sonia this is Kevin, are you there? ... If you are, please pick up the phone.... OK, well if you see Kathy, please give me a call. We had a misunderstanding at the house and she left, I can't find her anywhere. I have to explain! Tell her that I love her.... Thank You.... Bye." Several minutes later he called back, "Sorry we're not in right now..... (beep) "Sonia, are you home yet? If you are, please pick up the phone.... OK... I'll call back late...." "Hello" Sonia said. "Oh good, you're home, is Kathy there?" he asked. "Um ... no ... she isn't here and I haven't seen her" she said in a harsh voice. "She's there isn't she?" Kevin asked. "She doesn't want to talk to you" "I have to explain, I have to see her! I'm coming over" he said as he hung up the phone. "He's on his way over here" Sonia said. "I don't want to see him. I have to go before he gets here" I said as I hurried to the door. "He sounded desperate, maybe you should listen to what he has to..." "NO" I interrupted. "I don't want his explanation. Sonia you have to move your car...." I said. "Here just take it" she said while handing me her keys. I opened the door, just as Kevin was pulling up in front of the house. He jumped out of his car.... "Kathy, let me explain!" he said. "I don't want to hear it Kevin! I saw all I needed to see!" I yelled back at him. "It's not what you think" he said. I got in Sonia's car and locked the door. I started the engine as Kevin was banging on the window. "Kathy, wait ... stop" he yelled at me as I drove off. I could see Kevin's car in my side view mirrors. He was honking his horn at me to stop, but I kept going faster ... faster ... trying to lose him. I turned one corner, then another. I thought I lost him, but I didn't. I slowed down a little bit because I was approaching an intersection. Then I saw Kevin's car, catching up to me, so I sped up a little and I wasn't watching for the on coming traffic, as I was turning the corner.... I heard a car horn ... saw a car coming towards me ... heard a big thunderous crash ... then ... nothing ... to be continued.....

(Chapter 7: Sun. morning)

I woke up and everything was in a haze. My vision was blurred, and my hearing wasn't that good. I saw the outline of two bodies standing next to me talking. I couldn't make out who they were or what they were saying. A little moan came out of my mouth.... "Bri, go get the doctor, I think she's waking up!" Kevin said. I felt someone grab my hand and squeeze it gently. I heard a mans voice speaking, but couldn't make out what he was saying. " ... Kathy ... sweetie ... can you hear me?" I finally heard Kevin say. "Kevin ... is that you?" I asked quietly. "Yeah ... it's me" he said. "Wh... what ... happened?" I said slowly. "Shhh ... don't talk, save your strength" he said soothingly. "Let me take a look at her" the doctor said. "Hi there Mrs. Richardson, do you know where you are?" he said as he shined a little light into my eyes. "I... I think... I'm... in ... the ... hospital?" I said "Yes dear, you are! Do you know what happened?" he asked. "Not really" I said in a low voice. "You were in an accident..... you gave us quite a scare" he said. "Oh my God, my baby.... How's my baby?" I asked in horror. "Calm down Kathy, you need to save your strength" the doctor said. "Tell me, how is my baby?" the doctor looked at Kevin. Kevin took my hand and squeezed it gently. "Kevin ... our baby ... how's our baby? Why won't the doctor tell me?" "Shhh ... you need to rest" he said. "Our ... baby ... how..." I drifted off to sleep. "No.... No...." "Kathy... Kathy ... wake up. You're just having a nightmare" Sonia said as she woke me up. "What happened?" I asked. "You were having a bad dream and you were tossing and turning" she said with sympathy. "Sonia what happened to me? Why was I in a car accident? I don't really remember?" I said sadly. "Can I have some time alone with Kathy?" A deep voice came from the door. "Sure" Sonia said. She gave me a kiss on the forehead and told me she would come back later. I gave her an appreciative smile and she walked out the door. "How are you feeling?" Kevin said as he took my hand in his. "I feel OK, except for this headache that I have" I said. He kissed the back of my hand. "I thought I was going to lose you" he said with sadness in his eyes. "I don't know what I would have done if you didn't survive the accident" he said as I put my hand on his cheek for comfort. "Well, I did survive! Kevin, be honest with me, Did our baby die? Is that why the doctor wouldn't tell me anything?" I said with tears in my eyes. Just by the way that he was looking at me, I could tell that he was hurting. Fresh tears came down my face. "Yes, ... our baby died" he said sadly as a single tear ran down his cheek. "By the time the doctor found out you were pregnant, it was already too late" he said in a low voice. I pulled my hand away from his and rolled over to my side and started to cry. I felt Kevin's hand on my head as he gently stroked my hair. I turned over and I could see that he was hurting just as much as I was. I could tell by his cheeks, that he was crying too. His cheeks were all wet from the tears that had just fallen from his eyes. I took his hand and pulled him closer to me as he gently placed himself next to me, and we grieved in each others arms, for the loss of our first child ... to be continued.....

(Chapter 8)

Monday, when I woke up, I remembered everything. I remember seeing my husband in the arms of another woman. That's why I took off in the car, and was in a car accident. That is why I lost our baby. Tears started to roll down my face, as I cried myself to sleep. I heard a light knock on the door. "Come in" I said. Brian walked into the room and sat down next to me. "How are you feeling?" he asked sympathetically. "I'm doing the best I can, under the circumstances" I said sadly. "I'm sorry Kathy, I know it must be hard" he said. "Sometimes I feel OK and other times, I just don't want to wake up. My whole world just came crumbling down on me" I said. "Kevin isn't doing so well either. He doesn't want to talk to anyone, he just wants to be left alone" he said worriedly. "He can't go through this alone. He might not realize it now, but he needs you guys. You gotta help him" I said with concern. "I've tried to talk to him, but he won't open up. He just said it was his fault and left! Do you want to tell me about it?" he asked. I turned my head and I stared at the ceiling. "I understand. When you are ready to talk about it, I will be here for you" he said in a caring voice. "Thank You" I said with a smile. I heard a knock on the door. "Are you up for more company?" AJ said as he popped his head through the door. "Sure, come in" I said softly. "Nick and Howie are with me too" AJ said as they walked through the door. "I'll come and see you later" Brian said as he kissed me on the cheek. He said bye to the other guys and left. "How are you?" Nick asked as he gave me a hug. "I'm OK, I guess" "Are you in any pain?" Howie asked with sorrow in his eyes. "You look better then you did yesterday, are you feeling better?" AJ added. Yeah, the pain isn't as bad as it was before. The doctor said I could probably get out of here on Thursday" "That's a good sign" Howie said. "But when I get out, I have to stay off my feet as much as possible" I said. "At least you'll be at home with Kevin" Nick said innocently. "Yeah" I said with a reassuring smile. I didn't have the heart to tell him about the situation with the baby and Kevin. Howie and AJ looked at me with regret because they knew I was trying to spare Nick the heartache. They knew about the baby because the doctor filled them in. They also knew something had happened between me and Kevin, and whatever happened between us, was the cause of the accident. "Well, we're gonna go now so you can get more rest. Maybe you'll get out of the hospital quicker" AJ said. "Thanks for coming to see me" I said with half a smile. AJ and Nick gave me a kiss on the cheek and walked out. Howie came to give me a kiss. "Howie, please try to find Kevin. Please help him through this" I said in a concerned voice. "I will" he said. He gave me a kiss and said bye. He walked out to catch up with AJ and Nick. As soon as they left the room, tears started rolling down my cheeks as the loneliness began to set in. ... to be continued....

(Chapter 9)

....Knock .....Knock ..... "Kevin open the door" Brian said. He didn't answer the door. Brian began to bang on the door.... "Kevin, I know you're there, open the door" he yelled. He still didn't open the door. So Brian forced his way in. There sprawled out over the living room floor, was Kevin. Brian rushed over to him, "Kevin are you OK?" he said as he nudged him. "Kevin.... Kevin..." he tried frantically to wake him up. He heard a moan come from his mouth. "Kevin" he said while gently tapping him on the cheeks. Another moan came from Kevin. Brian looked around the room and he found several empty liquor bottles on the floor. He called Howie on the phone. "Hey man, I think you better get over here to Kevin's house. I found him passed out on the floor" Brian said. "AJ and Nick are with me. Bri, Nick doesn't know what's going on!" Howie said cautiously. "Well, he was going to find out sooner or later..... it's just going to be sooner and the hard way" Brian said. "OK, we'll be right there" Howie said. "What's going on?" Nick asked with a scared look in his eyes. "I can't explain it now" Howie said. They were all worried as they reached Kevin's house. They rushed into the house, to find Brian trying to pick up Kevin. Howie and AJ rushed in to help him. "Help me get him into the shower" Brian said. They dragged his body into the bathroom. Nick was shocked at everything that he was seeing, he couldn't do anything but stare in horror. They put Kevin in the tub and turned on the shower. He started to wake up when the cold water hit him. He was mumbling different things. "What's going on? Why is Kevin so drunk?" Nick asked. Brian, Howie and AJ looked at each other as to see which one gets to explain the situation to him. "Him and Kathy had some kind of fight" Brian said. "That's all we know" AJ added. Nick looked at Howie for confirmation. He just nodded. "Why didn't anyone tell me what was going on?" Nick asked. "We don't really know what's going on. All we know is that they had a fight" Howie answered. "Let's get him out of these wet clothes and into bed, so he can sleep it off" AJ said. They got him into bed and went into another room to talk. Brian went to go pick up the bottles from the floor and throw them away. Nick walked out. AJ pulled Howie aside, "Should we tell Nick about the baby or wait until Kev wakes up, so he can tell him" AJ asked. "I think Kevin should be the one to explain it to him" Howie answered. AJ and Howie went to the living room to help Brian and Nick clean up. "Hey B, where's Nick?" AJ asked. "I thought he was with you guys?" Brian said. "No ... he walked out of the room a couple of minutes ago" Howie said. "I didn't see him come in here" Brian said. Howie went to the front door, it was open and Howie's car was gone..... to be continued.....

(Chapter 10)

I heard a light knock on the door. "Come in" I said. "How are you feeling today?" Sonia said with a smile on her face. "I'm feeling better, the good news is, I get to go home early" "I know, I heard. I called earlier and they told me that you were being released today, So I brought you some clothes from my house" she said. "Oh thank you" I said gratefully. "The doctor just finished examining me and he said everything was fine" "I am so glad to hear that" Sonia said. "I can't wait to get out of this hospital gown" I said. "Here" Sonia handed me the clothes..... "I am so glad to be in regular clothes again. Oh Sonia, I am so sorry about your car" I said sadly. "Don't worry about it. I'm just glad that you are OK. Just get yourself back on your feet" she said. "You can use my car until yours is fixed. I don't think I will be using it, I am going to take a leave of absence from work, about a month" I said. "Oh the car dealership gave me a rental car until mine is fixed, but thank you anyway" she said. "The doctor just has to finish the paper work, then we can leave" I said happily. "Where are you going to go?" she asked. "Well, I know I don't want to go home" I said sadly. "You can always stay at my house" Sonia offered. "Thank you but I can't impose on you and...." "I insist" she interrupted. "OK, but only until I find a place for myself" "OK" Sonia said with a smile. "Knock ... Knock" the doctor said as he walked into the room. "Hi doctor" I said. "Here are your release papers ... you are free to go" the doctor said with a smile. "Thank you, for everything" I said. "You're welcome. Just remember to try and rest" "I will, bye" I said. "Bye, I hope to never see you here again" he said as I smiled at him. "Let's go Sonia" I said happily. As the elevator door opened.... "Nick, what are you doing here? What's wrong?" I said as I looked into his scared eyes. "I need to talk to you! Now!" "Can't it wait, I'm going ... home" I said with a forced smile. "No, it's important, I need to talk to you now!" he insisted. I looked at Sonia, "Go on, I'll see you later" she said. "Thanks Sonia" I said as I gave her a hug. "Nick, let's go somewhere else to talk." We went to the nearest park. On our way over there, Nick didn't say a word. He looked scared, hurt and confused all at the same time. We walked to the bench under a tree. "OK what was so important that you..." "What happened between you and Kevin?" He interrupted. "Wh... what do you mean?" I said blankly. "I know something is wrong. Please tell me?" "We just had a fight..... and I wasn't watching where I was going and a car hit me" "Stop lying, I know there's more to it than that!" "That's all there is...." "If that's all there is to it, why is Kevin so drunk that he is passed out in your house right now?" "He's what!" I said. "Yeah that's right, he's passed out, and usually he doesn't drink. So something must have happened for him to drink THAT much!" "I don't know what to tell you" I said. "How about the truth" he said calmly. "You might not like what I tell you" "I can handle it!" he said. "When I finish telling you everything, can you take me to see Kevin?" I asked. "Yeah" he replied. "Thank you! Now I will tell you everything..... to be continued.....

(Chapter 11)

As I walked through the door, Howie, Brian and AJ were all shocked to see me. "Hey, the hospital let you out early, that's great" Howie said as they all gave me a hug. "Why didn't you call one of us to come and get you?" Brian asked. "I got a surprise visit from Nick" I said as Nick walked in behind me. "Nick, where did you run off to?" AJ asked. "I'm sorry I took your car Howie, but I had to see Kathy" Nick apologized. "It's OK Nick, I'm glad you're safe" he said. "So what's going on here?" I asked. "I came to see if Kevin was here. I knocked on the door, but he didn't answer. So I forced my way in and I found him on the floor, passed out" Brian answered. "How is he now?" I asked. "He's sleeping" AJ said. "How long has he been asleep?" I asked. "For almost three hours" Brian said. "If you don't mind me asking, what happened between you two, that made him drink so much?" Howie asked. "Nick can explain, I want to see Kevin" I said as I walked to the room Kevin was in. I stood next to Kevin, as he lay sprawled out on the bed. I always loved to watch him sleep. He always looked like he was at peace with himself. Like he didn't have a care in the world. How am I going to live without him. How can I say good-bye? I reached out my hand to stroke his cheek, touch his hair. I studied every line on his face for the last time. Saying good-bye to a life that I thought I would have forever. I was remembering every detail about the first time we met, how shy he was. The day that we got married, he was so nervous, he dropped my ring when he was about to put it on my finger. The smile he gave me, just melted my heart. The day I found out I was pregnant, I was so happy. I was waiting for the perfect moment to tell him, he would have been so happy. Then all this happened ... now, we can never have the life that we once dreamt of. I turned around and walked to the door. I took one last glance at the man that I will forever love. As tears ran down my face, I walked out of the room and out of the life that I once knew. As I closed the door behind me, I knew that my life with Kevin was over. Brian came over to me and asked if I was OK. "Yeah, I'm OK. I just need to be alone" I said. "Are you sure?" Brian asked. "Yes" I said as I started to walk to the stairs, that led to the bedroom, that Kevin and I have shared for many years. I curled myself into a ball on the bed and cried.... to be continued....

(Chapter 12)

Thursday morning when I woke up, I was under the blankets and in my favorite pajamas, one of Kevin's old T-shirts. It was a plain navy blue cotton shirt. I always loved the way he looked in it. I sat up and froze.... "I need to talk to you" Kevin said. "I don't want to hear it" I said as I got out of bed and put some pants on. "Let me explain" he said as he grabbed my arm. "Let me go." "No, I need to talk to you" he said. "You're hurting me, let go" I yelled as I struggled to get free of his strong hold. I guess the guys heard us, they came in and grabbed Kevin. "Let her go, you're hurting her" Nick yelled. Kevin let go when he saw the tears in my eyes. "Nick get her out of here" Howie said. "I'm sorry Kathy, I didn't mean to hurt you" Kevin said with sorrow in his eyes. As we were leaving the house, I could hear the guys yelling at each other. I don't know what they were saying, but I can tell that they were all very mad. "Where do you want me to take you?" Nick asked me. "Please take me to Sonia's house." "You know that Kevin would never..." "I know he didn't mean to hurt me" I interrupted Nick. "I am just not ready to talk to him" I said with sadness in my eyes. "before he went up to see you, he was telling us a little bit of what happened with that girl" Nick said. "I don't want to hear it Nick" I said coldly. "You should hear him out, it really isn't what...." "No" I said. "Now please, drop it." We were silent for the rest of the drive to Sonia's house. We got there and he just stared at me. "What?" I said. "I wish you would reconsider" he said sadly. "I told you already that I don't want to talk about it" I said. "I know but just let him explain, before we...." "It hurts to much. Every time I see him, I think of him and that girl holding each other. I can't handle it" I said as tears ran down my cheeks. "We're leaving for Germany, Friday night" Nick whispered. "What" I said with a surprised look on my face. "We are going to be touring Europe for ten months" "I thought you guys were taking some time off?" I said. "We were, but the album is doing great and the response from the fans is so overwhelming, that our managers want us to keep touring" he said. "How come Kevin didn't tell me?" "Maybe he was waiting for the right time" he said. "Ten months is a long time" I said. "Yeah it is, that's probably why Kevin didn't tell you right away. He kept complaining to us how much he was going to miss you. He was even thinking of bringing you with us" he said. "Well, I guess it's not going to happen now" I said. "Just listen to what he...." "No, it's to late now. I can't just forget what I saw" I interrupted. "Give him a chance" he said. "I can't, I have to go now" I said as I got out of the car. I walked into Sonia's house without even looking back..... to be continued.....

(Chapter 13)

Nick walked into the house, "Where is she?" Kevin asked. "Hey guys, can I talk to Kevin, alone?" Nick asked. "Are you sure?" AJ said. "Yes" Nick replied. "OK, we'll see you guys tomorrow" Brian said. Howie, Brian and AJ left. Nick just stared at Kevin. "Well, what did you want to talk to me about?" Kevin asked. Nick balled his hand in a fist and punched Kevin right in the face. Kevin stumbled back, but he didn't fall. "Don't you ever put your hands on Kathy like that again" Nick said in an angry voice. Kevin just looked at Nick with a surprised look on his face. "I didn't mean to hurt her. You know that I would never lay a hand on her. I was just trying to keep her from leaving the room" Kevin said in his defense. "Did I hurt her bad?" He asked. "No, she knows that you wouldn't hurt her intentionally. You just scared her" Nick said. "I am sorry I hit you Kev, it's just that I am scared for you two. I don't want you guys to split up" Nick said. "I don't want to either. I love her with all my heart" Kevin said. "You already explained what happened between you and Nicole, but you never told us why you did what you did. Please tell me why you did it?" Nick asked. "You won't understand" Kevin said. "Then help me to understand. You claim to love Kathy, but you...." "I do love Kathy" Kevin interrupted. "It's just that being on the road so much, I get so lonely. I know it must be the same for Kathy, I can't help but wonder if it is fair for her to be in a one sided-marriage" Kevin said. "What do you mean a one-sided marriage?" Nick asked. "Well, I am on the road doing what I love to do, living out a dream that I always wanted. Kathy, she is in a marriage where she don't even get to see her husband, unless we're on TV or I get to come home for a couple of days. I don't think that's the kind of marriage a girl dreams of "Kevin said sadly. "You have known Kathy for almost six years, and have been married for nearly four, if she wasn't happy, she would have left a long time ago. She left her family back in California after she married you, she could have went home if she wasn't happy" Nick said. "I know but, I can't help but think that one day I am going to come home and she's not going to be here" Kevin said as a tear slowly ran down his cheek. "Have you ever talked to her about how you feel?" Nick asked. "No, I am to scared" Kevin said sadly. "Has she ever told you that she wasn't happy?" Nick asked. "No" Kevin replied. "Has she ever complained about the way your lives are?" "Well, no" Kevin whispered. "Has she ever thrown in your face, how she left everything behind, when she married you?" "No" Kevin said as more tears ran down his cheeks. "Who is the one that is always there with open arms when you get home? Who is the one that is always there for us when we have problems? Who is the one that has stuck by you through thick and thin?" Nick said as Kevin looked at him in astonishment. Wondering when this young boy standing in front of him, turned into a man. He was growing up so fast, at such a young age. "I know, I was confused, but I'm not anymore, so what do I do now? She won't even talk to me and we leave for Germany tomorrow night" Kevin said. "She's at Sonia's house" Nick said. "Thanks man! I owe you one" Kevin said as he ran out the door..... to be continued.....

(Chapter 14)

....Knock ... knock.... "Hi Sonia, can I talk to Kathy?" Kevin asked. "She's not here" Sonia said. "Nick told me he brought her here" "She was here but she's not here anymore" Sonia said. "Where is she?" Kevin asked. "She didn't tell me where she was going" "Did she say if she was coming back?" he asked. "I don't know if she's coming back" Sonia answered. "I have to find her, I have to tell her what happened with that girl" Kevin said. "Well, what did happen with that girl?" Sonia asked coldly. "NOTHING happened with that girl" Kevin said honestly. As Kevin was explaining the situation to Sonia about that girl, his eyes started watering and she can tell that he was hurting just as much as Kathy was. She knew in her heart that he was telling the truth. She could tell by the way he spoke about her, that he really loved her and he would never betray her. "I have to find her before it's too late" Kevin said in a worried voice. "She's at the Holiday Inn, on Fourth and Main. She is in room 205" Sonia said helpfully. "Thank you Sonia, for everything" he said as he gave her a hug and left. Kevin was racing through the streets. As he got closer and closer to the Holiday Inn, his heart began to beat faster. He rushed to the front desk. "Where's room 205?" he asked the desk clerk. "Up stairs and to the..." before he could finish, Kevin took off running to the stairs. He found room 205 and listened at the door to see if he can hear me inside. The TV was on, so he knew I was there. He knocked on the door. "I'll be right there" he faintly heard. His heart was beating so fast now. The door opened ... and his heart dropped to the floor. "Yes, can I help you?" said this stranger standing in front of him. "This IS room 205, isn't it?" Kevin asked. "Yes, it is, can I help you?" she replied. "No, I'm sorry I bothered you" he said as he walked away. "Is there a Kathy Richardson staying in this hotel?" Kevin asked the desk clerk. "No, I'm sorry there isn't" "How about a Kathy Thompson?" he asked. "Ah, yes there is a Kathy Thompson" the man said. "What room...." "But she checked out already" the man interrupted. "Did she say where she was going?" Kevin asked hoping that I told the desk clerk something. "She did mention something about going home" he said helpfully. "Thank you" Kevin said as he handed the man a twenty dollar bill. He went to his car and drove home to our house. He ran inside, "Kathy!" he yelled. He ran upstairs, "Kathy!" he yelled again. The house was empty..... ring..... ring... "Hello" "Sonia, have you heard from Kathy?" Kevin asked desperately. "No, I haven't, why?" she asked. I went to the hotel and the clerk said she already checked out. He said that she mentioned going home, but I'm here and she's not ... you don't think she meant home to California, do you?" Kevin said nervously. "I don't know Kevin" she said helplessly. "What if I can't find her, I have to find her before I leave" he said. "Leave? Where" Sonia asked. "We're leaving for Germany tomorrow" he said sadly. "Does Kathy know?" she asked. "I didn't have a chance to tell her" he said. "How long will you guys be gone for?" "Ten months" he whispered. "Ten months!" she said in a surprised voice. "I was waiting for the right moment to tell her. I had a gift made for her and I was going to ask her to come with me on this part of the tour, but the moment never came" he said sadly. "Is that what you went back to the plane for, her gift?" she asked. "Yeah, I forgot one of my bags in the overhead compartment" he said. "Don't worry, we'll find her" she said in a reassuring voice. "I'll call the airport to see if she bought a ticket to go to California" Kevin said....... to be continued.......

(Chapter 15)

....Ring ... ring ...... "Hello" Brian answered. "Hey Bri, it's Kev" "Where have you been, I've been looking all over for you" Brian asked. "I was out looking for Kathy" Kevin replied. "Nick called me to pick him up about 45 minutes after we left your house. He said that you went looking for Kathy at Sonia's house" Brian said. "I did but she wasn't there" "But that was an hour and a half ago" Brian said. "I can't really explain now, but I'm on my way to the airport" Kevin said. "Why?" Brian asked. "It seems that Kathy bought a plane ticket to Los Angeles. She's going home, to her parents house. I have a half hour to get there, before her plane takes off" Kevin said nervously. "Call me when you find her" Brian said. "OK, I will." Kevin was racing through the streets, trying to get to the airport as fast as he can. He stopped his car in front of the sliding doors. Last call for flight 207 to Los Angeles now boarding at 'Gate 12' Kevin heard over the intercom. He started running to 'Gate 12.' He passed 'Gate 4' ... 'Gate 7' ... 'Gate 10' ... finally 'Gate 12.' He ran to the entrance of the hallway that led to plane. "Excuse me sir, you can't go in there" the lady said. "I have to, my wife is on that plane and I can't let her leave" Kevin said anxiously. "I'm sorry, but the plane is already taking off. It's too late to stop it now, I'm sorry" the lady said as she closed the door and walked away. Kevin walked to the window and placed his hands and forehead on it. As he watched the plane, that I was on, take off, he whispered to himself, "She's gone. I can't believe she's gone." Tears slowly ran down his cheeks. Kevin walked back to his car and drove off wondering what he was going to do now. He kept seeing the look on my face when I saw him with that other girl. Over and over again. The pain and hurt in my eyes. He was devastated. Kevin reached into the glove compartment of his car and pulled out the little gray box. He opened it and looked at the ring he had made especially for me. He pulled out a little piece of paper and read the note that he had written to me. He carefully folded the paper and placed it back in the box, along with the ring. Kevin pulled into Brian's driveway. He knocked on the door, Brian answered it and let him in. "What happened, Were you too late?" Brian asked. "Yeah, I got there as the plane was taking off" Kevin said sadly. "I'm sorry Kev" Brian said sympathetically. "She's gone B, I've lost her" Kevin said as he started to cry. "Don't worry Kev, she has to come back eventually" Brian said. "Why would she come back? Especially after what I did to her" Kevin asked. "Her home is over here now, she probably just needed some time away, to think. This is where she belongs. I'm sure she will come back" Brian said giving Kevin some hope. "You're right, but when she does come back, I will be gone" he said sadly. "Oh yeah, I forgot" Brian whispered. "Well, you can leave her a letter and leave her messages on the machine, explaining everything that happened. Tell her how much you miss her and love her" Brian continued. "I guess I have no choice, but it seems like a waste of time, because she obviously doesn't want anything to do with me" Kevin said. "It won't hurt to try" Brian said. "How could I have been so stupid?" Kevin asked Brian. "Everyone makes mistakes, even you!" Brian answered. "Yeah well, my mistake might have cost me the one person who means the most to me" Kevin said. "You'll just have to work even harder to get her back" Brian said. "It's gonna be kind of hard, since we are going to be in Europe" Kevin stated. "What's a few thousand miles between you and the one you love?" Brian said with a smile. "Just a FEW thousand miles" Kevin said matter-of-factly. "What is this, is THEE Kevin Richardson giving up, THIS easily?" Brian said sarcastically while staring at Kevin with a smirk on his face. "Do I suspect a smile coming?" Brian added. "When have you ever known me to give up that easily?" Kevin said with a smile. "Know that's the Kevin I know, it's good to see you again!" Brian said as he laughed. "I am going to get her back, I promise you that!" Kevin said..... to be continued ......

(Chapter 16)

Kevin couldn't sleep at all, he was restless. He kept tossing and turning, wondering how he was going to get me back, since I didn't want anything to do with him. "What am I going to do if I can't reach her. What if she doesn't read my letter or if she erases the messages. What am I going to do, I can't lose her" he said to himself. Kevin finally dozed off. I had to see him one last time, so as quietly as possible, I walked into our house, trying not to make any noise. I slowly walked up the stairs to the bedroom. The door was left ajar. I peeked in the room and saw Kevin. He was asleep with the moonlight caressing his face. I walked in and stood next to the bed. I stared at him for so long, I couldn't help myself, I had to touch his face. I reached out to touch his cheek, I lightly touched his hair and I outlined his right eyebrow with my finger. I bent forward to lightly place a kiss on his lips. "I love you" I whispered in his ear. I turned around and walked out of the bedroom. I walked down the stairs and into the living room. I took our wedding picture down from the mantle, and I just stared at it. We looked so happy in our wedding picture, it's hard to believe that our lives together, is over. "Oh Kevin, what happened to us? We were so happy, or so I thought" I said to myself. "I just don't understand what went wrong with us." I put the picture on the table and walked to the door. I opened the door and walked out. I closed the door and went to my car. For the first time, there was nobody's car behind mine to block me in. I opened my car door.... "Kathy" I heard Kevin say from the front door. I immediately got in my car and drove off.... Friday was going by so fast. I had to hear Kevin's voice, so I called him and just listened, I didn't say a word. I called back an hour later and did the same thing. Kevin packed his clothes, took a shower and ate, when I called for the last time. "Hello... Who is this? Kathy is this you?" he said as I hung up the phone. It was finally time for Kevin to leave. I followed him to the airport and watched him board the plane. Tears ran down my cheeks as I watched the plane take off. "Good-bye Kevin" I said sadly. As I walked into my house, it seemed even more lonely than it use to. It never felt so empty, like it does now. "I know I did the right thing by letting Kevin go.... Then why does it feel like I've made the biggest mistake of my life?" I said to myself. I found the letter that Kevin had wrote me, but I couldn't bring myself to read it... On the flight to Germany, Kevin sat next to Nick. "She was in the house, I thought I heard the door, so I went downstairs and she was there. I called her, but she just got in her car and took off" He said. "Why didn't you go after her?" Nick asked. "Because I didn't have any pants on!" Kevin answered. "OH" he replied. "I know it was her that was calling me and hanging up" Kevin said. "I know she still loves me. Now all I have to do is talk to her and explain everything" he added. "Just don't give up on her, she probably just needs time" Nick said. "Oh, I'm not going to give up on her. I will get her back!" .....to be continued.....

(Chapter 17)

It has been two weeks since Kevin left to Europe. The past two weeks have been so hard, I miss Kevin so much. I took off a month from work, I'm going crazy in this house. I decided to finally call Sonia. "Hi Sonia, how are you?" asked. "Kathy, it's about time you called me. I have been leaving messages on your machine, why haven't you called me back?" "I'm sorry, but Kevin has been leaving messages too and I don't want to hear them, so I erase them without listening to them" I said. "Why?" "Because it would be easier for me to go on with my life, if I didn't hear Kevin's voice" I said sadly. "You haven't listened to any of his messages?" Sonia asked. "NO" I replied. "I talked to him a few times and he told me he wrote you a letter, did you read it?" she asked. "No, it's still on the counter where Kevin left it" I said. "Oh Kathy, you're making a big mistake. I think you should read it" Sonia said. "Why?" I asked. "Kevin should be the one telling you this but, he was NEVER with that other girl" Sonia said. "What do you mean?" I said nervously. "Kathy, he said that he was never unfaithful to you. He explained it all in the letter. Please, go read it now" she said. "OK ... I will" I said and as hung up. The letter read:

My Darling wife Kathy,

I would rather be talking to you in person, than in a letter. Let me start off by telling you how much I love you. You mean the world to me, without you my life is empty. I miss your smiling face and the way you look at me. OK, let me explain the situation with that girl. One night after a show, she handed me her phone number. I took her number, said Thank You and I walked away. A couple of days later, I was feeling so lonely and I missed you so much. I was so confused, I know it's not an excuse, but I wasn't thinking straight. I kept thinking about our marriage. How hard it must be for you, to hardly ever see your husband. To be all alone at home, while I get to be on the road, living out my dreams. I keep thinking that it's not fair for you. I started to have doubts, about if you were really happy. So, I decided to give that girl a call. We set up a date for that evening. I went to pick her up, the minute I opened the door, I knew I had made a big mistake. We went out to dinner because I didn't want to be rude. After dinner, I told her had to go because I had to get up early. She invited me inside her house but I declined. I thanked her for a nice evening, and then I went back to the hotel ... ALONE! We didn't kiss, hug or do anything, but I still felt horrible about asking her out. I am so sorry for everything that I did to hurt you. You are the only woman for me, I could never love another. She had followed me home and that's when you saw us hugging. I had explained to her that NOTHING was going to happen between us. She accepted it, and called a cab, to go back to the airport. I was saying Good-bye to her when you found us. I will never forget the look on your face when you saw us. I am so sorry that all this happened, I hope that one day you can forgive me. Just remember that I will always love you! All my love, Kevin

"Oh my God, What have I done?" I said to myself as I started to cry..... to be continued.....

(Chapter 18)

I called Sonia back crying, "Oh Sonia what have I done? How could I have been so stupid? How could I have believed that Kevin would be with another woman? What am I going to do?" "Call him!" she said. "I don't even know where he is at" I said. "I know what state they are in and what hotel they are staying at. They are going to be there for a couple of days" Sonia said helpfully. "Thank you Sonia, I hope it's not to late to work things out with Kevin" I said. "I'm sure he'll be happy to hear from you" she said reassuringly. "I'll call you back after I finish talking to him" "OK, Bye" she said. "Bye" I said and hung up. "I still have two weeks off, before I have to go back to work...." I said to myself. As I was packing to go to France, I saw a little gray box on the dresser. When I opened it, there was the most beautiful ring I have ever seen. I pulled out the little piece of paper that was in the box. I carefully opened the note and it read:

Kathy,

You hold my heart, in the palm of your hands. With love, Kevin

The band of the ring is silver. The ends of the band are shaped into tiny hands. The hands are clasped to a heart shaped diamond. I placed the ring on my finger, as tears started to fall from my eyes. "Oh Kevin, I hope it's not to late for us" I said to myself .... Please fasten your seat belts, I heard over the airplane intercom. "Is this your first time flying?" I heard a woman's voice ask me. "Oh, no I've flown before, but I still get a little nervous" I said. "Where are you headed?" the lady asked. "I'm going to France, to visit my husband" I said happily. "How long has it been since you've seen your husband?" she asked. "Well, he's been gone for about two weeks, but the last time I saw him ... well it's a long story and I don't want to get into it" I said sadly. "I understand" the lady said politely. After hours on the plane, the flight was finally over. I got my suitcase and took a cab to the hotel that Kevin was staying at. After several minutes of trying to convince the desk clerk, that I was Kevin's wife, I heard a familiar voice call my name. I turned around and I saw Nick. "I thought it was you" he said happily, as he gave me a tight hug. "I seem to be having problems convincing him that I am Kevin's wife" I said in an annoyed voice. "Oh, that's because so many girls have been coming up to them and saying that they are our wives. Even though Kevin is the only one who is married" Nick said with a smile on his face. "We told them NOT to give our room numbers to anyone" he continued. "Oh that's good, because I wouldn't want to find another woman in Kevin's arms" I said sarcastically. Nick just laughed. He got me a key to Kevin's room and we walked to the elevator. "Let me carry those for you" Nick said about my stuff. "Where is Kevin?" I asked him. "He's probably asleep. He left right after the show. Since you left him, he hasn't been the same. All he does, is performs at night and then goes back to the hotel. We ask him if he wants to go sight-seeing with us, but he never goes. Plus you didn't return any of his phone calls" Nick explained. He was on his phone every chance he got, calling you" he continued. "Now, I regret not listening to the messages. I barely read his letter yesterday. After I read it, I bought a plane ticket for the next flight over here. Can I ask you question?" "Yes" he said. "Kevin told you what happened with that other girl, right?" I asked. "Yes, he did" he said. "Do you believe him ... without a doubt?" I asked. "Yes, I do!" he said convincingly. "Thank You Nick" "For what?" he asked. "Just for everything" I said with a smile and a hug. "Well, here's his room" Nick said. I gave him an appreciative smile and a hug. I quietly walked into the room ... to be continued.....

(chapter 19)

It was completely dark in the room. I could barely see my hand in front of me. I placed my stuff on the floor, and carefully walked across the room, to the window. I took the curtains and partly opened them, to let the moonlight shine in. I could see Kevin sleeping, all curled up into a ball. I walked over to the bed and just stared at him. I gently touched his lips with my finger. How could I have ever doubted him? I thought to myself. I quietly walked over to my stuff, picked up my suitcase and walked into the bathroom. I changed into my favorite pajamas, turned off the light and walked out of the bathroom. I softly got into the bed, trying not to wake up Kevin. I got comfortable and drifted off to sleep. When I woke up, I slightly moved to try and get out of the bed, but while still in his sleep, he pulled me into his arms and snuggled up to me. I could feel his breath fanning over my cheek. It felt so good to be in his arms again, even if he didn't know I was there. When he was starting to wake up, he draped his leg over mine and cupped my breast with his large hand. He started to rub his nose in my hair, the way a cat does it to a hand, when it wants to be pet. A soft moan came from his mouth and then .... "What the..." he said when he realized that he was not alone. He jumped out of the bed, I sat up and laughed. "Kathy" he said as relief washed over his face. He sat back down on the bed and gave me a hug. "I'm so glad to see you" he said as he gave me a deep kiss. "When did you get here?" he asked. "Last night" I said with a smile. "Why didn't you wake me up?" he asked. "I was to tired from the flight over here" "You scared me to death, when I woke up and felt someone next to me" he said. "I'm sorry" I said with a smile. "I'm so glad you're here" he said appreciatively. "How did you get a key to my room?" he asked curiously. "I saw Nick in the lobby and he got it for me. Believe me, I tried to get one, but they didn't believe I was your wife" "I still can't believe that you are here!" he said as he gave me another hug. "I thought I lost you for good, when you didn't return any of my calls" he said sadly. "I'm sorry! I wouldn't be here right now, if it wasn't for Sonia" I said. "Why?" Kevin asked. "She is the one that explained everything to me about that other girl. She is the one that told me that I should read your letter" I confessed. "I am sorry about what happened with that other girl" Kevin said. "No, I am sorry for doubting you. I should have let you explain" "You shouldn't be apologizing, this is not your fault. I am the one who messed up and I promise that it will never happen again" he said. "But you didn't do anything wrong!" I said. "Well, I still shouldn't have asked her out" "Kevin, it was only dinner, I don't see anything wrong with you going out to dinner with her. As long as it's only dinner, I have no problems with it" I said. "Even though it was only dinner, It still won't happen again" he said. "I promise that I will never doubt you again" I said as I started to kiss him. We laid down on the bed and he started to kiss my neck ... he kissed my shoulder ... down my arm ... the palm of my hand ... and then, he stopped when he saw the ring on my finger. "Do you like it?" he asked. "Yes, I love it! It is so beautiful" I said. "You know Kathy, you are the only woman for me. That's what the ring signifies, you really do hold my heart in the palm of your hands" he said as he kissed the finger with the ring. "Oh Kevin, I love you so much" "I love you to baby" he said as he stared deeply into my eyes and continued to kiss me seductively ..... to be continued......

Two years later in July of 1999.....

"Mommy ... mommy, ake up" I heard our one and a half year old son say, as he jumped onto the bed. "Kyle, let mommy sleep" I heard Kevin say from the door as he walked into the room. "But it mommy's birday, she want cake" he said innocently. "It's to early for cake" Kevin said sweetly. "Aww daddy" "Come on, let's go make mommy some breakfast and I promise that later, we will have some cake" Kevin said. "You pwomise" Kyle said with his green eyes staring at Kevin. "I promise!" he said. "Aw wite" Kyle said as he jumped off the bed into Kevin's arms. A few minutes later, they came back into the room with a trey of fresh fruit, cereal, toast and freshly squeezed orange juice. Kevin kissed me lightly on the lips. "Happy birthday, sweetie" Kevin said lovingly. "Thank you" I said as I rubbed my hand over his cheek. "Happy birday mommy" Kyle said with a smile. "Thank you baby, come and give mommy a kiss" I said. He gave me a kiss. "Kyle honey, your breakfast is ready" said Cassie our nanny. Kyle walked over to Cassie and they went downstairs. "So how are you feeling this morning?" Kevin asked as he sat down next to me. "I'm feeling better" "Here, eat a little something, maybe it will help you to feel better" Kevin said. "I'm all right" "Are you sure?" he said in a concerned voice. "Well, there is something..." I said as I motioned for him to come closer, so I could whisper in his ear. "Really! ... We're going to have another baby?" he said with joy. "Yes!" I said. He kissed me tenderly on the lips. "I love you" he said. "I love you too...."