Whitehouse Intern Employment Application



     

Name: ___________________________________ (Optional)

Age:
  Legal: __
  Under: __ (Not a disqualifying answer)

Sex:
  Oral     __
  Improper __ (Not a disqualifying answer)

Position applying for:
  On top: __
  Below:  __
  Behind: __
  Other:  __ (Please describe in graphic detail.)
          ______________________________________
          ______________________________________
          ______________________________________

Education Level:
  You can't get pregnant if you do it standing up  __
  Oral sex is not adultery                         __
  You're still a virgin if he pulls out early      __
  It's not perjury if it's a civil case            __
  Less than five women isn't cheating              __

Typing Speed: __ words per minute.
              __ words per minute using only tongue.

Distance can suck a golf ball though a garden hose:
  5 feet:                 __
  10 feet:                __
  100 feet:               __
  Don't need garden hose: __

List other talents that you believe qualify you for
a White House position:
  Above the waist:
          ______________________________________
  Below the waist:
          ______________________________________
  Kama Sutra:
    Page number(s):
          ______________________________________

Do you or any of your friends own a tape recorder?
  No               __
  Grand jury alert __

Do you keep a diary?
  No  __
  Yes __
    If yes, do you lie to it?
      ______________________________________

How would you best describe your reasons for wanting
to work for the White House?
  Serve my country                      __
  Report what is going on to Hillary    __
  Join the Air Force One Mile High Club __

Previous Experience:
  Hugh Hefner:      __
  Dallas Cowboys:   __
  Seventh Fleet:    __
  JFK:              __
  The Night Stalker __

Reason for leaving previous position?
  Employer died in ecstasy          __
  Subpoena                          __
  Death threat from employer's wife __
  Boyfriend killed employer         __
    but it's OK. He still in jail   __

References:
  Gennifer Flowers __
  Paula Jones      __
  Monica Lewinsky  __
  Janet Reno       __
  Ted Kennedy      __
  Ken Starr        __
  Sam Donaldson    __

Where did you hear about this job?
  Personal ad               __
  National Enquirer         __
  New York Times            __
  Bimbo Eruption Newsletter __
  Dick Morris               __
  James Carville            __  
(We are not responsible for the hundred dollars 
 he may promised you or your trailer park!)
  Phone number in bathroom __
  Secret Witness Program   __

============================================================
Employer use only:
  Slick Wille       | Little Wille           | 1st Bitch
    Loser       __  |   Loose lips        __ |   Bill     __
    OK          __  |   Deep Throat       __ |   Janet    __
    Oval Office __  |   Zip Lock          __ |   Files    __
    Willie Room __  |   Presidential Seal __ |   My Place __

Form 1-98-7354               

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Email: ray.rannala@theoffice.net