Cupid Knows and Tells ALL!

Here's how this marvel of romantic technology works... Cupid already knows all about you. You are desperate and hungry for someone to love. More importantly, for someone to find you even remotely apealing (Especially if they haven't yet had 11 beers or 7 tequila shooters!). How shall I put this politely, you are a LOSER. Or, why would you even be here reading this. You'd be out on a date right now with that special someone waggling their tongue in your ear.

Let's begin. In order to find out if the lover of your dreams will spend their life with you, just type their name below, stand up in front of your computer, turn clockwise 3 times, while flapping your arms like a chicken, and making a loud choo choo train noise. Sit back down, hide your face from your co-workers and press the button.

Give Cupid a Moment!
The name of the lucky soul is...

Now I'm really depressed, take me back!