Application to date my daughter
If you are interested in dating my daughter, simply print out and complete the following form and
mail it to me for review and approval. Before doing so, you might want to review
the RULES for dating my
daughter. They WILL be enforced!
APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER
NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompained by
a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical
report from your doctor.
1. NAME:__________________ DATE OF BIRTH___________________________
2. HEIGHT:__________WEIGHT:______________IQ:_________GPA:__________
3. SOCIAL SECURITY #___________________DRIVER'S LICENSE____________
4. BOY SCOUT RANK:________________________________________________
5. HOME ADDRESS:__________________________________________________
6. Do you have one MALE and one FEMALE parent?_________________________
7. Number of years your parents have been married:__________________________
8. Do you own a van:_________a truck with oversized tires?_________a
waterbed?________
9. Do you have an earring, nose ring, or belly button
rings?________tattoo?_______
10. In 50 words or less, what does DONT TOUCH MY DAUGHTER mean to you?
(attach additional pages with response as needed)
11. In 50 words or less, what does LATE mean to you?
12. In 50 words or less, what does ABSTINENCE mean to you?
13. Church you attend:_________________________________________________
14. When would be the best time to interview you father, mother and
pastor?_____
15. Answer by filling in the blank.Please answer freely. All answers are
strictly confidential. (That means I won't tell anyone ever)
A. If I was ever shot, the last place on my body I would want
to be wounded is:
B. If I was beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:
C. A woman's place is in the:
D. The one thing I hope the application does not ask is:
E. When I meet a girl, the first thing I notice about her is:
(NOTE: if answer E begins with a T or an A, discontinue and leave premises keeping your head low
and running in a serpentine fashion is advised).
16. What do you want to be IF you grow up?
I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS FREE, AND CORRECT TO THE BEST
OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT
TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED-HOT POKER, AND
HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.
Applicant's signature:__________________________________________________
(this means sign your name, moron)
Thank you for you interest. Please allow 4-6 years for processing. You will
be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not call or write. (You
probably can't anyway.) If your application is rejected two gentlemen wearing
white ties and carrying violin cases will notify you(you might watch your
back).
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Email: ray.rannala@theoffice.net
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