Welcome to LCS Hockey's Darcy Tucker Tribute Issue.
It's no secret that we love ourselves some Darcy Tucker. But we don't think he's getting the attention he deserves from the mainstream media. That's why it's our duty to take the word to the streets. We're hoping that this very special tribute issue will help raise Darcy Tucker awareness and bring our newest cult hero closer to you, our valued readers.
Often described as the next generation Dale Hunter, Tucker is a fiery competitor that shows up every night for the Tampa Bay Lightning. He's a driver. He's a winner. With Darcy at the helm, and promising youngsters Vincent Lecavalier and Pavel Kubina following his lead, things are gonna change for the Bolts. I can feel it.
Despite his lack of size (he's listed at a generous 5'11, 182), Darcy is fearless. He battles on every shift. Whether it means dishing out punishment or taking some for the team, there's nothing Tucker won't do to help his club win. And if things get chippy, Darcy will be the first to drop the gloves and throw. Say when. That's all you gotta do. Say when.
But don't think he's just a scrapper. Tucker's got skills. He's scored at every level and there's no reason to believe he can't enjoy similar success in the big show. While this is technically his third full season in the NHL, it's really his first campaign as a headliner after serving a limited role during his first two years in Montreal. Darcy currently has 15 goals and 32 points in 63 games for the Lightning. Those numbers will only improve in the future. I think Tucker could be a 20-goal, 60-point guy as early as next season. So, Darcy, if you're readin', don't make me look stupid, dude.
Tucker's points are all the product of hard work. He never takes the easy way out. He goes to the net, digs the corners, mixes it up with the big boys, and bangs away. Once he claws his way into the open, Tucker has enough talent to finish the play. It's his ability with the puck that will make him more than just a grinding third-line center. A year or two down the road and the Bolts could have a fearsome one-two punch in the middle with Lecavalier and Tucker.
A natural leader, there's no question Tucker will be the captain one day for the men with lightning bolts on their pants. He's already worn the C at times this season and it won't be long before it's welded to his chest.
It's Tucker's unbridled intensity that makes him so damn special. The guy can be flat out scary at times. Push him too far and Darcy will snap in the gulliver and go Clockwork Orange.
Fearless, tough, talented... Darcy Tucker is just everything a hockey player should be. So please, do yourself a favor and start watching Darcy Tucker. He's earned our respect and he deserves yours as well. Together we can make a difference. I don't even know what that means.
Oh yeah, it turns out our tribute is well timed. Darcy's birthday is March 15. He'll be 24. That's right, I'm actually 26 days older than Darcy Tucker. Man, that hurts. You realize how brutal it is to find out that you're older than one of your favorite hockey players? I mean, what the hell have I done with my life? There's Darcy, a month younger than I am, and he's playing in the NHL with lightning bolts on his pants. Meanwhile, I take great pride in being able to rattle off all 43 original episodes of "Columbo" in less than a minute. There's something wrong.
Where am I going? What am I doing? Darcy's out scoring goals and busting heads in the best hockey league in the world, and I'm stuck sitting in front of a keyboard making obscure references and lame jokes for the "enjoyment" of literally dozens of people. When am I gonna start living my life? When am I gonna make my mark on the world?
Today, that's when! This is the first day of the rest of my life! Nothing will ever be the same from this day forth! And I owe it all to the inspiration of Darcy Tucker. If he can do it, so can I, damn it! So can I!
But I don't know, it's kind of cold outside. It's been snowing all day. And I chill easily. Plus, you know, I think there's a new episode of "NewsRadio" on tonight. Come to think of it, what's the rush? Van Gogh didn't start to paint until he was 27. Hell, Miguel de Cervantes didn't write "Don Quixote" until he was like in his 60s or somethin'. I could pretty much piss away the next 30 years and still beat him. Whatever.
Anyway, I hope everyone enjoys the tribute issue and takes it to heart. All hail Darcy Tucker. Darcy Tucker is good.