Long Story Short
If you ever have to say "to make a long story short" the story is already too long and you will not be able to do anything to fix it.
My week in a nutshell:
* Baby appointment at 8am on Tuesday was canceled, didn't find out until AFTER we arrived
* Bitchy receptionist needed an attitude adjustment
* Saw a grown man who had shit his pants standing under the interstate overpass
* Howard Stern starts on Monday - the messiah has returned to Orlando
* Shaq was traded to Miami and this year is going to be shit for the Lakers
* Bought a gift for Connor
* Sent out baby invitations to my baby shower - YEAH!
* Caught up on family gossip
Well loves you all are up to date so kisses!

Sweet Girl for Prez
Maybe *I* should run for el presidente? It just feels like this year has slim pickings and mostly sad sacks. The unenthusiastic and dull have come out of the woodwork with a slight odor of vegetable soup in the air. Have you ever smelled someone who has a veggie soup like aroma to them? Quite unsettling. Back to my original point that voting this year will be uninspiring to say the least and could possibly cause a rash. My vote this time around will be spent writing someone in whom I would like to be president. Now I know what you are thinking that a write in is like voting for Nader and that's equivalent to throwing your vote away. Well fuck you. Give me someone worth voting for and I'll stick my vote where the sun doesn?t shine for that party?s representative. I however do not see nor can I even begin to imagine that particular scenario ever happening in 2004. So I shall be a voting rebel if you will for 2 cycles in a row. As the world collectively gasps I voted for Nader in the last election and yes I live in Florida. So my swing state swung and I was ridding in the doorknob praying another party would get enough votes so we could have 3 party representation in the 2004 election. No dice. Well that crapshoot was lost but my hope for my vote making a statement has not. I will be writing in my own candidate. A person with honor, integrity, who seems to have grasped the English language and someone I pay attention to when they are mentioned. Vote for whoever you want but don?t' forget that there are more choices than the Sluggish Texan, the Kept Ketchup King or Neurotic Nader. *steps down from cat box*

Spider Mania



Best movie this year, which isn't saying much but I do seem to go to the movies often. Better than the first one and oh my lord I love Tobey Maguire! The special effects, the tight costume and a cameo appearance of Stan Lee all add up to a mixture of lovely goodness. I think in some former life I was a comic book geek of the highest order but in this life I've atoned for those sins and can now have sex with real people. Not only are the fight scenes amazing but also the character development is impressive. Lord help me but I can't wait to see the third installment.

Picture Page
Here are some random pictures I felt it was necessary to post.



She looks amazing now, but I enjoyed her so much more when she was fat.



People spend money on these items. The country is hopelessly doomed.



Thank god they finally buried this poor man. He has more frequent flyer miles than most people in the country and they've all been accrued during the past week. I was growing a little tired of hearing of the greatest love love has ever spawned which luckily culminated in the union of Ronnie and Nancy. In closing I did feel dirty watching Nancy clutch Ronnie's coffin and cry during the closing ceremonies at the library.

Hang Your Head



The 2003-2004 NBA season has come to a close with a fizzle and wrist slitting sadness for us Laker fans. We were defeated soundly, swiftly and without mercy. I'm not sure which game we brought into these finals but it wasn't our "A" game or even our "B" game, it was most assuredly our "S" game. I thank the Pistons for taking pity on my pregnant soul and my blood pressure, which would sky rocket during the game. Nothing has tested my marriage recently than the sheer frustration the Dodd and I have experienced while watching this cluster fuck of a series. Congratulations to Larry Brown for winning his first championship ring. Bill Davidson who is the owner of the Pistons, the Tampa Bay Lightning and some silly WNBA team who have all won their trophies for this year. Is it any surprise this man has enough money to own three sports teams?

Manic Monday
Well the title would imply that I have been busy or at least awake for the better part of today. Well you would be mistaken. I have taken up my hold habits of napping daily when I feel like it and generally feeling like a fat boulder trapped in the house of home improvement horrors. I really need to get on the stick and finish painting my bedroom. The house is still a mess. I need to list a bunch of crap; I mean beautiful knick-knacks no one could live without on eBay. My garage sale must come to fruition soon so my garage can start housing our cars again. The sweetest husband on earth also needs some ass in gear pointers to finish my furniture and clear out the dead tree that was cut down about 4 months ago now taking up residence in the backyard. Life is rolling along but I just wish more money were rolling in. I?ve applied for a job at the hospital but I think this was more of a symbolic effort rather than anything that will end up being fruitful. All in all I will probably need to go back to work sooner than I wanted. I?m just so excited about the baby and for the most part I don?t feel pregnant just large and bubbly.

Go Bolts!



Congrats to the Tampa Bay Lighting! It's ironic that a Florida hockey team just won the Stanley Cup defeating a Canadian hockey team. It's almost as if this was a joke spawned in hell to torture the Canuck's. Admittedly I am a Johnny come lately to this whole hockey game. Quite frankly I've never watched hockey before and now I know why. Yes it's exciting. Yes I sometimes lose focus on the puck but so does the guy moving the camera. But most frustrating to this half Canuck is that I can't figure out what someone has to do to be put in the penalty box. Power play's begin and I have no idea what the team has done to be subjected to this torture. You are just witness to these poor grown men sitting alone for 2 minutes looking longingly at the ice. Frustration furrows their brow and blood streaks their face. The smell of testosterone must be intense and my lack of interest at that point makes me change the channel. I'm a basketball girl at heart I suppose. And if the damn Lakers don't pull their head out of their ass tonight, Connor may spring forth from my loins and kick some grown mans ass. People with pituitary problems who get paid MILLIONS of dollars should be able to close out a side Eastern conference team. Enough said before I talk myself into the corner and have to apologize for mistakenly harming innocent bystanders.



I just liked this picture. I?m a sucker for cat crap and for some reason this makes me giggle uncontrollably.

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Glory day the summer blockbuster movie season has begun! All the proud movie dorks abound with their voices joining in one great cheer that can be heard from the lowest valleys. I hate to raise my hand in solidarity because my movie knowledge is quickly dwarfed by my husband?s ability to spout off random movie trivia. But I *am* here in the chant. Drooling for movies that make me want to call all of my three friends and tell them they MUST go out and watch this flick. I am also made painfully aware that in a mere 3 months the luxury of popping off to see a movie on a Friday afternoon will soon come to a screeching, drooling, crying halt when the baby arrives. The only way to console my weak movie going soul is to remind myself my parents live here and would LOVE to baby-sit. But enough of that now more of this PofA was a fabulous movie. Taking us on a new darker Potter adventure minus the bright colors and back-story. This is the best movie so far and it moves so well. If Connor hadn't kicked my bladder after I consumed a large soda I would have been able to sit through the whole movie without ever noticing the time. The mood of the movie has a more sinister tone, the effects are fabulous and J.K. Rowling is a genius. I won?t go on and on because you can read an official review but this just makes me more excited that in a few short weeks Spiderman comes out. I am looking forward to a winning streak of summer box office smash hits. It was also nice that the concession guy who was an attractive African American late teen blessed me with some flirty talk and a little ego boost for this 25th week baby toting machine.

Perfect 10 for Phil

Blessed events don't come every day but last night the Lakers became the Western Conference Champs. It's a proud Tuesday for this Laker fan. On the baby front he seems to be moving about like a little tap dancer on speed the last few days. On Sunday the big man and I celebrated our 6-year anniversary in style. My parents bought us dinner and we went and saw "Mean Girls" at the local sin-o-matic. Saturday was a sad day though in the House of Dodd because we watched the series finale of "Angel" and the season ender of "24". For two people who don't watch many shows on TV we've whittled our way down to one. Maybe I'll have to pick up the "West Wing" since every time I see it in reruns it seems like such an amazing show. Of course my dedication to TV has to be limited. If I have more than 2-3 shows to watch I just can't handle that kind of pressure.

5 Exciting Chewy Flavors!
I have just eaten an entire bag of Chewy SweeTarts Minis, of course I didn't eat the green ones because they're green apple and they taste disgusting. In about 10 minutes I'm going to die, so please pray for my soul because candy repenters hell is calling my name. My current goal is to become the size of a small barge. My nickname will be bargie. People will point, children will cry and my baby will not have a MILF mum but a reject from Sea World.