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May '98

[ 5/16/98 ]
You know I love being gay, but i wish i wasn't. I mean if every gay person had a choice i am sure that most of them woukd pick not to be. Life would be so much easier for me... I mean i would never have to feel like i am gonna disappoint my mom and dad, would have more friends, maybe even have a going-out-wif-someone relationship, and wouldnt be so stressed sometimes. hmmm.. what else! I have actually been going to school {hehe} if you consider 2 days a week school..
School: It's been going okie... I am so glad a few people there are graduating. I hate my school.. no i don't hate it. I hate the kids. Kids can be so cruel can't they? I just like dun feel like to many ppl like me to much.
Friends: Well, Mike and I are friends again!!=o) Rachel and I are not so close anymore we have been hanging out with each other more, but i think thats because the fact no one else to hang around. We r just getting on each others nerves. Last night, we got in an agruement...She told me what a low self esstem I have. I agured with her and she said that i am gay probably [coz of my -so called- low self esstem]. She said maybe its coz i think { know may I add heh} I am fat & ugly and I think women understand this more than guys. Oh well.. people will believe what people want to believe.
Family: I haven'y come out to anyone else yet. I realy wanna tell my mom... she knows tho, But its diffferent to know & to know because of that person telling you. Right? One day she said to me about seeing gay bookmarks on our Netscape or something. I said " What do you want me to say?" she said the truth. Blah! I left the room:)
Well, that is about It that has been going on. I will be adding Updates whenever :) So keep cheaking back=o)

[ 5/14/98 ]
It has been about a month since i have updated the page, so I figured everyone was getting bored *yawn* with the same thing:) So here is your update! I was getting some e-mails and stuff about what I said about ' not wanting to be gay'. I meant that, but i did not say i was not proud of being gay:) Summer started!! I am already to ready to get anotehr school year over with. A lot of things have been happening in my life.. in other words it sucks at the moment (hehe). I know every thing will be better soon tho. I went on vacation to Casey Key, Fla. I wanna move there:) Wouldn't that be fun? I havent watched Rocky Horor Picture Show in 3 weeks... Can you believe you can miss a movie? hehe. Here goes my list:
School: It is out as I said YAAAAAAAY!!:) next year I am going into 11th grade, but may do some school work during the usmmer so i will be done with 11th in the middle of the year:) The kids at school haven't been bugging me as much since last time I wrote:) The boy who picks on me most graduated this year. I am happy about that (hehe).Hmmm... What else? We got out fo school a week early and I went to Busch Gardens with them [end of the year field trip]. I didn't hang out with them really tho, because I didn't feel like being bothered. I ended up hanging out with this 19y.o. teacher. People talked there gossip as usual blah... not only about what they thought suzi and i were doing [ which we didn't do anything ] and then they started talking about my friend. I hate getting involved with anything hehe.
Friends: Suzi and i have becoem pretty good friends... I dunno i feel like i can talk to her and she is a lot more understanding than other people at my school:) and thats about it with friends I dunno if i will be hanging out with too many ppl during teh summer. Eat, Sleep (sometimes), iRC... sounds fun to me hehe:))))
Family: Nothing new;)
WELL!!! Thats the end :) I will be be writing either monthly or bi-monthly on here:) So, cheak back every once in a while:)