Juicy rumors you won't find on their web page!!
*****IMPORTANT NOTE!*****
Okay, no one has brought this up yet, but I felt the need to address this issue. All of the rumors below were created almost 2 years ago. There is no truth to them whatsoever!!! If any of these ever become true, I will be greatly shocked and laugh my ass off!! Keep in mind that we created these WAY before the whole Justin/Britney issue was even raised. I would have just deleted the ones that could have some truth to them, but I just don't feel like it. We've had them posted forever, and I still like to make fun of some of them.
1. Justin and Britney are engaged to be married. The
date has been set for June 3, 2003. (They want to get
their careers out of the way.)
2. Topanga is pregnant with Matthew Lawrence's
baby, but claims it is Lance's love child from a wild
fling they had the night of the Billboard's in Las Vegas.
3. Joey has 4 illegitimate children living in
Brooklyn, NY with his ex-girlfriend Tonya Sueanne Marie Sermershiemersteinkowski.
4. JC steals mattresses from each hotel room they
stay at to remember the sleep he had. You should see their
tour bus, it looks like a huge trampoline!!!
5. Chris is really married to a woman named
Tiffany. They have 3 children, Katie, Nikki, and Brad,
3 dogs, Pookie, Spot, and Trixie, 2 cats, Slut and
Hooker, a hampster named Lampshade, and 42 fish which will
remain nameless. She lives in Ammon, Idaho, and is waiting
for Chris to finish the touring where he can finally settle
down and raise their children.
6. Justin really perms his hair every 6-8 weeks,
just to make it look "hot and spicy".
7. Lance had his adam's apple enlarged to lower
his voice because the group needed a bass so badly.
8. Joey was a stripper at a bar called Just
for Men in Long Island, NY. This is where he learned those
pelvic thrusts that he does oh-so-well.
9. JC is the long lost brother of Rob Van Winkle,
aka Vanilla Ice. Have you noticed the similarities?
10. Every time Chris has to hit the high notes,
Justin grabs his pee-pee to help him along.
11. Justin wets the bed on the tour bus because
he misses his mommy so much.
12. Lance smokes 2 packs of cigs every day.
13. Joey's knocked out several fans and suffered
from head injuries because of his very big Superman
necklace.
14. JC was madly in love with "Peaches" from
Innosense and proposed to her but she totally dissed
him for AJ from BSB. Later, he dumped her for Amanda.
What a mess!!
15. Chris is posing as a 13 year old girl from
Minnesota that wears a wig and takes steroids to grow
facial hair and some other "manly features". Yet, she
poses as Chris and maintains the relationship with Tiffany
in Ammon, Idaho. They email.
16. Justin is an raging alcoholic and never sleeps in
hotels when they travel. He has a fake I.D. with his friend
Dave Thomas, who is 43 years old. Justin drinks until he "role plays"
Michael Jordan and gets kicked out of the bar for
being so loud.
17. Lance has won numerous bowling awards, one
for having 156 strikes in a row. It was broken because
Topanga broke up with him and he was so distressed, he
set a new record for gutter balls, 168 in a row.
18. Joey set the record at Daytona Beach for picking
up the most chicks in an hour and getting their phone
numbers, 51. That tied his old record from the Miss
Teen USA Pageant, where he got every contestant's number.
19. JC won a Buddy Holly look-alike contest at
his high school, where he won a guitar signed by Joey
McIntyre from NKOTB.
20. Chris is the only white guy to own every color
and style of FUBU jerseys and jeans so the company named him
"White FUBI guy", for us by idiots. Way to go Chris!!
21.It has been reported that Joey flies out to Indonesia every vacation he has to be with a special friend named Frederick Wong. They have been spotted holding hands and gazing into each other's eyes on several occasions. It also seems the two enjoy shopping for yellow thong bathing suits at the Indonesian marketplaces.
22.Lance Bass has been named the spokesperson for the Bureau of Little Odd Women Judging Olympic Bobsledding (BLOWJOB). The women are very proud that he accepted this position and Lance stated that he will do everything in his power to make sure that these women receive the respect they deserve. It is an honor for him to represent this group.
23.Chris Kirkpatrick was officially entered into the Guiness Book of World Records for juggling 2 dogs, a moonkey, a hot pocket, and a pocket watch for 30 straight hours. Congratulations on this huge accomplishment Chris!
24.JC Chasez was walking on the beach a few days ago when he noticed he had grown a sixth toe on his right foot. After careful examination by the group's doctor, it was found to be caused by Joey Fatone's hair dye. It seems that Mr. Chasez has a fetish for running his toes through Mr. Fatone's often colored hair. Unfortunately for him, the solution had a radioactive affect and left him disfigured for life.
25.Justin Timberlake has been noticed exiting several (and I mean SEVERAL) Orlando sperm banks in the last few weeks. It seems the loveable curly headed blonde has had to "invest" in several local banks because he has reached the limit of 20 viles for each bank. When asked to comment on this situation, he explained that he is just doing his part to save the world, "I am just giving the young women of this world the chance to breed a perfect human being." I'm telling you, these boys stop at nothing to make this world a better place.
DISCLAMER: If you believe even one part
of these, you should be shot and hanged!! We made every
one of these up just for laughs and kicks so don't write us
with hate mail!!! If you have any funny rumor to add, please
let us know!!
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Email: newgirl_98@yahoo.com