A man from the Midwest dies and goes up to the Pearly Gates. St Peter says, "You have a choice. You can go up to Heaven or you can go to the Florida Keys."
"Well, let me see both," says the man. So St. Peter takes him down on the elevator and when it stops, the door opens. He sees sailboats sailing across a beautiful blue ocean, people fishing and diving, swaying palms, and wonderful night life.
"Hey, this is cool! This is for me," exclaims the man. "but let me see Heaven just for the heck of it."
They take the elevator up to Heaven. When the door opens, the man sees people playing harps and sitting on clouds . Pretty boring he thinks.
"No doubt about it. I'll take the Keys," says the man.
So they get back in the elevator and go down. When the door opens, he's pushed out into a fiery landscape filled with brimstone and demons with pitchforks. As the Devil grabs him and leads him away, he screams, "I thought I was going to the Keys!"
St Peter calls back " You ARE in the Keys. But Yesterday you were a tourist. Today you're a local."