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Why Lord???

How many times have you wondered "Why is God doing this to me!??" "Why is He allowing this to happen in my life???" "He's supposed to love me and protect me from stuff like this!"

I've said it too, many times. I've fussed and fumed and been really upset with Him before. Finally, when I'd start to wind down, when I'd just about gotten it all out of my system, I'd get this picture of Him, standing there patiently waiting, arms crossed against His chest, saying "Are you finished? Will you let me say something now??"

A very wise, spirit filled minister once said "Trials don't come to test your faith. Trials come to EDUCATE your faith." He went on to say that God already knows what you're going to do; how you're going to react when things go wrong in your life . YOU need to see how you're going to handle it.

The more I thought about it, the more that made sense. Had I caved in, given in to despair and fear at the times in my life when the road got bumpy? I looked back at some of the rough spots and remembered. There was the time when we had been so destitute that I took two potatoes and what little milk I had left and made potatoe soup to feed my family. That was all I had in the frige. Did I become angry at God, railing and complaining? Or had I continued to believe that He was fulfilling His purpose in our lives? And then there was the time when, so far from home, we had no money, nothing coming in and 5 kids to feed. Did I loose it then? Or did I remain steadfast in believing that He was in control?

No, I didn't cave in. I complained a lot. I griped at Him some. I fussed about how He was supposed to keep things like this from happening. But, when I finally got quiet, I knew what I was going to hear. I knew that He was going to tell me that He knew exactly what I needed and had already taken steps to provide. He KNEW I would turn to Him. He KNEW I would believe Him. But I needed to know it! This is no tribute to me. Understand that! Because of the times He had answered, because of the times I had heard His voice, telling me His plan for my life, because of HIM, I held on to what I knew was the truth. It wasn't easy. I found out what it means to beat your flesh into submission. I was mentally pretty bloody at times.

He told me something very profound one time. It just happened to be one of those times when I was upset with Him and just couldn't understand why we weren't getting any relief! When I finally calmed down and gave Him a chance to speak, He said "In the face of want, call it PLENTY. In the face of fear, call it ASSURANCE. In the face of loneliness, call it LOVE."

It took me several days to absorb this and understand His meaning. Then it hit me - a line from an old Kenneth Copeland song - "Now I'm not moved by what I feel, Lord I'm only moved by the Word that's real." God's word says we are provided for in every way. He says that we have love, power and a sound mind. And that He will never leave us or forsake us. So what am I going to believe? What this world says? What the devil says? What my own fallible mind says? Or am I going to believe the Word of God that He has written on my heart??? Well, there were a few more bloody bruises on my brain that evening!

My husband very wisely told me years ago that each small victory gives you that much more "umph!" to believe for the next, bigger one. He equated it to a building process, with Jesus as our cornerstone. We grow, we learn and we STAND on what we have learned in the past. So when the next trial comes along - the next bump in the road - we can look back and say - "Well, He brought me through that, He'll bring me through this too!" That's how faith the size of a grain of mustard seed grows into faith the size of a pea, and then an orange, and then a basketball, and then a truck tire... you get my point.

Trials are no fun! They're awful. But there IS victory to be found in each one. There are lessons to learn. Profound words from Him to hear. And growth in Him to be accomplished. If we can look past our humanness and see that God has a purpose in our situation, we can see the light at the end of the tunnel. We can begin to praise Him in the midst of the problems. And we can see the light of His Word and His truth getting brighter and brighter until we can't see that old problem anymore!!

Maybe one day we'll be able to embrace the trials as glorious gems of instruction and learning. Maybe one day we'll be able to rejoice when the trials occur because we'll know we're going to be victorious and His name will be praised as the result. Maybe one day we'll be so certain of His love and power that we won't even flinch when bad news comes. We'll just KNOW!!!!!

God Bless You!!

Some Other Things The Lord Has Blessed to My Heart...

About Prayer** About Waiting** About Forgiveness** About Praise


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