Love Stone
If I hadn’t stumbled over it, I wouldn’t have even seen it, but fate had
provided
me that trip, and down I went. At first, it annoyed me greatly that I
should fall
into the dust on my way through life, but when I stood up and brushed
myself off,
I discovered what my foot had caught on. I knelt down and picked up a
good sized
stone, it easily took up most of my palm space, and was of considerable
weight. It
was covered in dust, but no matter how I tried to clean it off, the dust
remained.
Not thinking too much of it, I put the stone in the pocket of my cloak,
and proceeded
down the road. I can clean it up when I have some more time, I thought
to myself.
But during my travels, I slowly began to realize that I didn’t know
where I was going,
and that I certainly didn’t know where I was. Many times I’d stop
alongside the road
alone, and watch the towns sleep, and the stars shine, knowing a peace
that I could
only dream about. My attention frequently turned to the stone in my
pocket, and more
and more I tried to clean the dust and scratches off of it. But it was
always in
vain.
Sometimes I could get a glimmer out of the stone, just a hint of the
colours that
it’s surface reflected, but I knew that there was only one way to reveal
the stones
true beauty. I had to take it home, to a woman I’d known for many years.
She wasn’t
really a collector of stones, but I knew that she would love this one,
and I knew
that she could make it shine.
At least I thought I did. On my way back, I began thinking about her.
I’d always
been fond of her, we had so much in common, it was always simple and
wonderful to
talk to her. But something made me uneasy. The more I thought of her,
the less I
thought of myself. My confidence sank quickly, and I wondered how she’d
really react
if I gave her the stone. I knew she had the power to make it shine, or
to reduce
it to nothing more than the dust that covered it.
So, sighing in confusion and fear, I turned around and began to wander
once again.
While I was walking, two realizations came upon me. The first being
that, somehow,
I had fallen in love with her. And the second was that with every step I
took, the
stone became heavier. My first thought was that I was tired, I hadn’t
slept or eaten
in days, and I had no strength left in which to haul this stone around.
Since thoughts
of her prevented sleep and dulled whatever hunger I felt in me, I
decided to leave
the stone behind.
I took the dull, rather sad looking rock out of my cloak, and set it
down. I tried
to stand up and walk away, but I realized that some loose strings from
my cloak had
wrapped themselves around the stone, and would take me a very long time
to unravel.
The decision to leave it behind also scared me when I thought about it.
It was odd,
but after carrying it with me everywhere for so many years, I had never
understood
how much it meant to me.
Thus, I once again put it in my pocket, and traveled on, with the stone
growing heavier
and heavier everyday. As was expected, the stone became too heavy to
carry, the pain
far too much to endure. I knew that my only hope was to give the stone
to the woman
I’d fallen in love with, before the pressure of keeping it to myself
destroyed me.
Upon arriving home, I slept for several days, the dreams that came into
my head filled
with the image of her. I couldn’t wait any longer. I took the stone, and
gave it
to the girl, who was even more beautiful than I’d remembered. I held my
breath and
prayed and hoped that she would keep the stone, and make it shine for
me.
I was crushed when she took the stone, but saw no need to polish it. It
meant nothing
to her. I had hoped that I could at least have a chance at peace, a
retirement from
carrying the stone, and maybe a chance at love. All that I got instead
was an even
heavier weight as the stone fell apart, and I was sent off to wander
again.
People tell me that one day I’ll fall over another stone, and fall for
another girl,
but I know that it’s a lie. I don’t want anyone else, I never really
have. So now
I guess I’ll just have to wander, with my cloak pocket full of dust.
...Stars
Sigh... We laid there in the grass and watched the stars spin all night long. The
strange hums and clicks of summer just emerging. It almost seemed to be
nature’s way of pressuring me.. pushing me.. I remember, all to clearly when I
turned to look at her wide beautiful eyes - brilliant black in the light of the
dark sky, gazing up into the heavens. I took a long breath, and waited a few
more moments.. My very soul was churning inside of me..
"You know I’d do anything to kiss you."
I instantly bit my tongue, and turned away, though still peeking from the
corner of my eye. A long pause followed my words, and I could feel my
contorted, pained face start to burn like the stars above as they swirled around
the black void of space. Just then, I had wished I too were surrounded by a
dark cloak, hiding me from my own voice. Still, for a long moment, everything
seemed far too quiet. Then just a whisper..
"Yes.
Yes, I know."
Sigh...
We laid there watching the stars, as I prayed for the grass to grow up around
and consume me. I wanted so much to just crawl into the ground and die.. I
took a chance, and glanced over, her eyes were still fixed upon the sky as if in
a trance, she never once turned away from the suddenly enormous heavens.
------------------------------------
After Her
There she is .. okay, carefully go after her. NO! Wait, you idiot! Not like
that! There, okay, in the shadows, now walk, slowly ..
.. slowly, ah crap! Man, don’t trip! You want someone to notice you?
Okay .. stand straight, don’t look around, just take a breath, let it out. Come
on! Let it out!
.. There, fine, yes go ahead, start walking. Don’t get too close now, don’t
let her see you like the last one .. not yet ..
.. oh yes, look at her .. isn’t she marvelous? The way she walks .. how her
long rusty hair just sort of sways .. I’ll bet she has grey eyes .. oh I hope so
..
.. HEY! Wake up .. don’t lose her! Come on, around the corner, that’s right
--- Good Lord!! Damn .. help her up .. say sorry, say excuse me .. there, did
the words come out?
.. oh look at her smile, almost a childish grin, so sweet .. stop
laughing .. no! wait! She’s laughing too, it’s alright, everything’s cool ..
.. what’s this? How odd .. well, if she’s offering her hand, you should take
it. So innocent and trusting, she could get hurt if she’s not careful ..
.. Okay, alright, take a breath, where are you? Do you even know? Come on
man, take a breath .. your heart’s going to explode! Some restaurant .. what is
she saying? Something about the flowers, so pretty, yes, ask her if she would
like a flower ..
.. no, don’t do that, if she wants one she’ll take one ..
Look! She’s blushing! It’s been a while since you’ve seen that. Oh, look at
that smile..
.. What did she say? Eat? No .. no you don’t eat animals, tell her, tell her
you don’t eat the animals .. but ..
.. Where are you going .. where is she taking you? Control, man, keep in
control! You’re in charge, take it out now!
.. yes, come on, now .. now .. DO IT NOW!
.. Oh, damn, look at her eyes, wide in shock from the blade in her chest, soft
and grey tearing up .. rolling up in her head..
.. oh, I think she’s trying to scream! Why isn’t it coming out? Come on
love, just scream, I don’t mind ..
oh, crap, she’s fallen, you have to run, now, get out of here, she’s down,
there’s nothing you can do for the poor girl. Run away fast!
.. Don’t look back, don’t look down .. Don’t look down! Ah, hell, there’s
blood on your hands! WHY IS THERE BLOOD ON YOUR HANDS??
---