• How did you die?
  • Earings

  • How did you die?

    Two Women waiting at the Pearly Gates strike up a conversation.
    "How'd you die?" the first woman asks the second.
    "I froze to death," says the second.
    "That's awful," says the first woman. "How does it feel to freeze to death?"
    "It's very uncomfortable at first," says the second woman.
    "You get the shakes and you get pains in all your fingers and toes.
    But eventually, it's a very calm way to go.
    You get numb and you kind of drift off, as if you're sleeping.

    How about you, how did you die?

    "I had a heart attack," says the first woman.
    "You see, I KNEW my husband was cheating on me,
    so one day I showed up at home unexpectedly.
    I ran up to the bedroom, and found him alone, watching TV.
    I ran down to the basement, but no one was hiding there, either.
    I ran up to the second floor, but no one was hiding there either.
    I ran as fast as I could to the attic, and just as I got there,
    I had a massive heart attack and died."
    The second woman shakes her head. "That's so ironic," she says.
    "What do you mean?" asks the first woman.
    "If you had ONLY stopped to LOOK in the FREEZER, we'd BOTH STILL BE ALIVE!"

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    A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring.

    This man knows his co-worker to be a somewhat conservative fellow, so naturally he's
    curious about the sudden change in fashion sense.

    The man walks up to his co-worker and says, "I didn't know you were into earrings."

    "Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring," he replies sheepishly.

    "Well, I'm curious," begged the man, "how long have you been wearing an earring?"

    "Ever since my wife found it in our bed."

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