* Bumper Stickers *

Don't take Life So Serious
Its only Temporary

1. Constipated People Don't Give A Shit.
2. Practice Safe Sex, Go Screw Yourself.
3. If You Drink Don't Park, Accidents Cause People.
4. Who Lit The Fuse On Your Tampon?
5. If You Don't Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth Shut.
6. Please Tell Your Pants Its Not Polite To Point.
7. If That Phone Was Up Your Ass, Maybe You Could Drive A Little Better.
8. My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant.
9. Thank You For Pot Smoking.
10. To All You Virgins Thanks For Nothing.
11. If At First You Don't Succeed...blame Someone Else And Seek Counseling.
12. Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings".
13. If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.
14. Horn Broken... Watch For Finger.
15. It's Not How You Pick Your Nose, But Where You Put The Booger.
16. If You're Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My Ass.
17. You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me
18. The Earth Is Full - Go Home
19. I Have The Body Of A God... Buddha
20. This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me
21. So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time
22. Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult
23. If We Quit Voting Will They All Go Away?
24. The Face Is Familiar But I cant quiet remember my name
25. Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway
26. Illiterate? Write For Help
27. Honk If Anything Falls Off
28. Cover Me I'm Changing Lanes
29. He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next Exit
30. I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person
31. You! Out Of The Gene Pool!
32. I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To
33. Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This Handbasket?
34. It's Been Lovely But I Have To Scream Now
35. I Haven't Lost My Mind, It's Backed Up On Disk Somewhere
36. If You Can Read This, The Bitch Fell Off... [Seen On The Back Of A Biker's Vest]
37. If Sex Is A Pain In The Ass, Then You're Doing It Wrong...
38. Fight Crime: Shoot Back!
39. If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over... [Seen Upside Down, On A Jeep]
40. Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35mph Are Also Timed For 70mph.
41. Guys: No Shirt, No Service. Gals: No Shirt, No Charge
[Reported To Be Seen On A Restaurant]
42. If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman
Look Like Jabba The Hut?
43. Necrophillia: That Uncontrollable Urge To Crack Open A Cold One.
44. Ax Me About Ebonics
45. Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel
46. Boldly Going Nowhere
47. Cat: The Other White Meat
48. Caution - Driver Legally Blonde!
49. Don't Be Sexist - Broads Hate That
50. Heart Attacks... God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends
51. Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window
52. How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He Is Lost?
53.(a) If You Can't Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Riddle Them With Bullets.
53.(b) If you can't dazzle them with brilliance,irritate them with stupidity)
54. Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch
55. Saw It... Wanted It... Had A Fit... Got It!
56. Warning! Driver Only Carries $20.00 In Ammunition
57. What Has Four Legs And An Arm? A Happy Pit Bull
58. Peta - People Eating Tasty Animals
59. Of all the things I lost, I miss my mind the most
60. You can never be TOO RICH or TOO THIN!
61. Gone Crazy ...Be back shortly
62. He who laughs last, thinks the slowest.
63. Cover me... I'm changing lanes
64. Back up my hard drive? How do I put it in Reverse?
65. If progress means to move forward, what does congress mean?
66. So many cats, so few recipes
67. When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty
68. Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool.
69. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
70. Pardon my driving - I am reloading
71. Ever wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges
72. He's not dead. He's electroencephalographically challenged
73. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film
74. Change is inevitable. Except from a vending machine
75. A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
76. On the other hand, you have different fingers
77. Save the whales. Hell, collect the whole set
78. Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
79. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe
80. Men come in 3 sizes....small..medium..and OH MY GOD!
81. I only get horney on days that end in "y"
82. Don't take Life So Serious...... Its only Temporary
83. I Love Cat's...... They Taste Like Chicken.

Go Back To

My Homepage
Joke Of The Day
Joke Archive
Angelfire - Free Home Pages