HIGH SCORE

	A man slaps his wife violently across the face.  Upon finding that his 
close, long-standing friend has been killed, he doesn't even shed a tear.  
Rather, he rushes forward to smother his young, delicate, and innocent bride 
with a pillow from their bed.  By looking at actions alone, Othello, the Moor 
of Venice, would certainly be considered evil.  However, William Shakespeare 
creates a character decidedly more complex -- a complexity we can see 
through a transformation in language and development of plot and character.
	When Othello is first presented to the reader, he is a brave warrior, 
well-regarded for his military skill.  When he first speaks, he is eloquent in 
describing how Desdemona fell in love with him.  However, his composure 
and articulate speech do not stay with him through to the finish.  Just before 
and during his "evil" acts of violence, Othello is much less articulate.  His 
speech is not flowing, but rather disrupted.  Many of his lines end in 
exclamation points.  He can't seem to get through a speech without a handful 
of pauses and erratic exclamations.  This speech is the product of a distracted 
mind.  More and more confused and overwhelmed by what he thinks is 
happening around him, Othello thinks not with a calm mind, but rather with a 
passionate heart.
	What is the source of such confusion?  Though Shakespeare plants a 
variety of unfortunate circumstances, his character Iago is the one who 
capitalizes on each of them.  The introduction of the Machiavellian Iago, 
whose cunning and manipulativeness are paramount, is what ultimately 
causes Othello to turn from brave warrior to a rambling and vulnerable 
person.  Iago, through hints and handkerchiefs, instills doubt in the too-
trusting Othello.  Iago knows well that where suspicion is planted, jealousy 
will grow.  Thinking that Desdemona is sleeping with Cassio, Othello is 
driven by jealousy and insecurity.  Who, after wedding someone like 
Desdemona, "too good to be true," would not have doubts when presented 
with evidence from a trusted colleague?
	Thus by the final scene of Othello, we see that Othello is not a 
barbarian who smothered his wife solely out of evil, but is a vulnerable soul 
whose actions are very understandable when considering his vast 
manipulation by Iago.  In the end Othello wishes to be remembered not for 
his horrible actions, but only for loving "too well."


This response to the open-ended question is extremely well-wrtten and 
answers the question fully.  Sentences are complex and make use of elevated 
language.  The essay begins with a creative introduction that, though not 
required, distinguishes the essay, intrigues the reader, and begins to explain 
the sympathy Shakespeare is able to evoke. The author establishes a cogent 
argument supported by examples.  These include a well-developed 
presentation of Iago's machinations and of the proclivity of Othello to doubt 
Desdemona and trust Iago. Also included is a logical analysis of the diction 
that traces Othello's descent into apparent evil.  Finally, the author concludes 
by linking the arguments and providing a quote that typefies Shakespeare's 
ability to justify to the reader a passionate, misguided heart.