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                          My "Spider" Story

                                     (about living with a facial deformity)

I was born with a facial deformity that was surgically corrected when I was about 24 years old
It was no fault of my own that I was born like that, yet I lived through a childhood of ridicule, self-consciousness and resulting insecurities. I learned to identify and sympathize with others with less than acceptable appearances, people whose outward appearance often overshadowed their inside appearance. It wasn't until after the surgery they I realized how much the inside personality is overshadowed by outward appearances, and that the shadow is cast deeply into our personalities. Like books with ugly covers, physical deformities cause people to get overlooked. Dumb looking people are treated l like dumb people, and ugly people can't grow socially in societies that don't accept them.. Health problems developed as I completed my teenage years for which a surgical remedy was found. A by-product of that surgery was an improved appearance; the inner insecurities slowly began to subside as I reentered society and sought acceptance.

 So there I was, 25 years old, seeking the inner beauty in people and doing my best to overlook their outward appearance, but I hated spiders! The movie E.T. came out about this time and wondered that as intelligent and sensitive as E.T. was, what if he had been really ugly? Suppose he had had the same intelligence and sensitivity, but looked like a spider? Would we have accepted him, let alone loved him? So I worked on accepting spiders.. Today my house has spiders, inside and out, as anyone who's been to my house can tell you. I marvel at their skill at building webs, and the beauty of the results. But best of all, they're a constant reminder that I shouldn't judge people on their outward appearances.

 

Would anyone like to adopt a spider?
 
 
PS: subsequent to this surgery (15 years later) I had
braces for 3 years followed by extensive bridgework.
 

There is a mail group for people with facial deformities, including Moebius syndrome and deformities caused by accidents.  It is both educational and supportive.

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