| rUsTy Appears on 1-22-99 Jay Leno's Late Night's Talk Show! | Last Updated: March 18, 2000 |
rUsTy Appears on 1-22-99 Jay Leno's Late Night's Talk Show!
*****THE SPECIAL EDITION*****
1-22-99
Friends,
I wrote a script about me appearing on Jay Leno' s Late Night Talk Show! The reason why I wrote it is because this script can advertise my web site, so I can get more people to view my web site. This show may be good, funny, dumb, or pathetic. I think that you would prefer to print out this show instead of reading it on the computer. All right? :-) Enjoy the show!
Sincerely,
rUsTy O'Mahony
***************************************************************
(The date is 1-22-99. The scene opens up inside Jay Leno' s studio at Burbank, California where Jay Leno is sitting on the chair by his desk on the stage.)
Jay Leno:
Welcome! Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to my show!(Audience jeers.)
Jay Leno:
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. You may sit down, or I would have to keep saying thank you until I die.(Some chuckles are heard; the audience sits down.)
Jay Leno:
I invited a special guest who will be here tonight for the show. He is a web designer from Lakeland, Florida, and he has his personal web page which is called, "rUsTy' s World" that is located at the following address....(Jay Leno picks a small paper from his desk, and he unfolds it.)
Jay Leno:
www.angelfire.com/fl/RustysPage Since he is here in the backroom right now, so don't let me waste his time because l am going to introduce you to the one and only rUsTy O'Mahony who I am sure that will blow the roof off of this place!("I am Just a Sexy Boy" theme plays the PA, and the audience jumps onto its feet as rUsTy O'Mahony steps out of the curtain wearing a white Arnett sunglass, O'Neill broad short, a pair of Reef sandals, and a HURLEY shirt. He trots to the stage and spins around as the audience cheers. rUsTy does his trademark flex pose as the pyros go off behind him.)
rUsTy:
(with a big smile) Let me start by saying how great it is to be on the show!(The audience cheers.)
rUsTy:
It seems that rUsTy is in da house!(The audience goes wild, especially the females.)
rUsTy:
Are you ready?(The audience cheers!)
rUsTy:
No, I said.... ARE YOU READY?!(The audience erupts!)
rUsTy:
Well then, for the thousands in the attendance, and the millions watching at home around the nation, are you ready to hear what the Showstopper.....the HeartBreak Kid....rUsTy has to say about his world tonight!!!(The audience is out of the control; rUsTy sits down on the guest' s seat.)
Jay Leno:
rUsTy, welcome to the show! The main reason why I invited you here is because I would like to ask you some questions about you and your web page. Let me start with the first question. Did you spend a lot of the time working on your web page?rUsTy:
First of all, when you talk about my web page, please do not use the word, "web page" because I prefer the word, "world". Secondly, you know, I always was sitting down by the computer working on my world with some fine wine and fresh fruit. I was watching the various people who clicked on "Gallery" link when they first enter my world, and I am wondering why "Gallery".(rUsTy looks at the audience and sends out a big, ridiculous smile.)
Jay Leno:
Your gallery page?! Whoa! How many pictures are on your page?rUsTy:
Thirteen, and more is coming very soon!Jay Leno:
Is rUsTy your real name?rUsTy:
Nope, I was born under the name Robert. When I first got the Internet, I met some people from the Internet. I was so scary that I thought if I gave out my real name to anyone on the Internet, then my ass would be dead. Even would be raped by the big, big, big men. That is why "rUsTy" used to protect my worriness. But, right now I am used to the Internet and would send out my real name to some people if neccessary. That is how rUsTy became my nickname.(rUsTy sends out a big smile.)
Jay Leno:
That is so interesting. Can you tell us the reasons why you decided to make your world?rUsTy:
I made my world to prove every man, every woman, every child, and of course, every living thing in this world that I can make the web pages. Also, my girlfriends and these gals from America Online wanted to have a good look at my pictures in which I had to upload my pictures for them all the time. I wanted to make my world, so it would be a lot easier to send them my gallery page instead of uploading my pictures for them.Jay Leno:
What others than the gallery page is in your world?rUsTy:
There are some pages like my profile, my javascripts, my links, my favorite links, and my guest book in my world. In "About Me" page, it has my profile, a list of my favorite things, and something like that. "My JavaScripts" page shows you some interesting graphics that only a few web pages have that. I made this page because I wanted to prove everyone that I am the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be at making the web pages.(rUsTy pauses for a moment.)
rUsTy:
"My Links" page lists a list of my favorite links. In "My Polls" page, it allows you to give your opinions about my page by voting these polls. When y'all visit my world, please would y'all vote! There are two different kinds of guest book in my world. When you look on your top, and you see "Sign" link. You look on your bottom, and you see "View" link where you can view other people' s comments on my web page. After you take a look at my web page, I would appreciate if you spend few minutes of your time to sign my guest book. So I guess that is all! Oh! In a month or so, I am going to make a "My Friends" link where people can learn about my friends and view their pictures.Jay Leno:
O Well, to tell you the truth, I think that your world really sucks.rUsTy:
For the sakes of mankind, what did you just said?(Jay Leno' s face approaches rUsTy.)
Jay Leno:
I said that I think that you world really SUCKS.....(rUsTy covers his nose. As he looks at the audience, he points at Jay Leno with his right hand and starts to speak.)
rUsTy:
Brreeeaatttthhh...(rUsTy picks something from the pocket of his coat. It is a five-stick pack of WinterFresh. He takes a stick out the pack and hands it to Jay, but he turns the offer down by nodding his head.)
rUsTy:
You may think that my world really sucks even without looking at it. Ok. Ok. Ok. I would like to make a revenge for what you just said! It is that if you are not down with my world then I got two words for ya....(The audience starts to stand up to witness what are the two words. rUsTy makes a "X" signal with his hands and moves the signal to this groin.)
rUsTy:
SUCK IT!Audience:
SUCK IT!(Jay Leno gasps and couldn't believe what rUsTy just said!)
rUsTy:
Oh boy, golly gee, how surprising that you just called my world sucks! Each person sitting in their seat in this studio, as well as those watching at home, knows that tonight' s show is all about me and not you, Jay!(The audience erupts into cheers.)
rUsTy:
Since you think that my web page really sucks even not looking at it, I would like to play a game with you. But first, we need to make a deal. If you win the game, I would have to delete the account of my rUsTy' s World! If you lose the game, I will take your position for the remaining of your show tonight!Jay Leno:
You know what? I am going to win your silly game because I am also known, "Mr. Know Everything" that I can win anything. (evil laughing) You want a game? Then you got it!("Let the Game Begins" chant is heard by the audience.)
rUsTy:
Here is a game! (raising his right hand. His hand displays an "A" in sign languages.)(Jay Leno couldn't understand what the hell is rUsTy trying to say. rUsTy' s hand displays a "S" sign. Again, his hand displays a "S" sign. Jay Leno is getting so pissed off because he couldn't understand him. rusty' s hand displays "H"......O"......L"......and "E" signs. But, Jay Leno still couldn't understand him.)
Jay Leno:
What in the earth are you talking about?!(A person from the audience screams, " It means ASS HOLE in sign languages!". Jay Leno is very surprised about what he just said.)
rUsTy:
(points to that person) Your exactly right, so I win the game! Would you please move, so I can replace your chair!Jay Leno:
Ha! Who said that you can replace my role?!rUsTy:
Listen, we can do this the easy way, or we can do this the hard way! The easy way is that your sorry ass better get out of the building! The hard way is I will boogie some sweet chin music on you!Jay Leno:
Ummm...let us do the hard way!rUsTy:
(stares at Jay then looks at the audience) Give me a hell yeah if you want me to boggie some sweet chin music on him!Audience:
HEELLLLL YEAAHHH!(rUsTy pauses for a moment. Suddenly, Jay Leno changes his mind and wants to do the easy way! Jay Leno grabs some of this things and races to the back area!)
rUsTy:
Whoa! Whoa! It seems that I am running the show right now!("rUsTy" chant is heard by the audience.)
rUsTy:
You know that Jay can't help it if he will never be as talented or as sexy as The Showstopper...The Heartbreak Kid...rUsTy!(Cheers and laughter fill the studio.)
rUsTy:
(walks back and forth on the stage) Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls, and children of all ages, "rUsTy' s Late Night Talk Show" proudly presents you its world' s best web page, "rUsTy World"!(rUsTy jumps on the desk, raises one hand in a fist, and speaks.)
rUsTy:
You shall be given the opportunity to go to the number one web page in the world...rUsTy World!(The audience erupts.)
rUsTy:
It is all at http://www.angelfire.com/fl/RustysPage(The audience erupts again.)
rUsTy:
We are running out of the time, so please will y'all visit my world. When you visit my world then please would you vote my polls and sign my guestbook! By the way, please bookmark my world because I am going to update my world once in a while. Thank you for watching my "rUsTy' s Late Talk Show"!(The audience jeers.)
rUsTy:
Now...hit MYYY muusiic!("I am Just a Sexy Boy" cranks out over the PA again as rUsTy dances on the desk. The audience stands up and dances as the camera fades out.)
***************************************************************
Copyright 1999 by By rUsTy O'Mahony
01/22/99
http://www.angelfire.com/fl/RustysPage
