Copyright 1999
Everyone who submits material for critique-be it in a critique group, or in a contest- is entitled to receive a legitimate, honest critique without feeling they've been blasted. However, on the other hand, tiptoeing around a writer because you're afraid to hurt her feelings is just as bad as ruthlessly cutting her work to shreds. Perhaps more so. The rule your mother taught you, "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all," will not urge a fellow writer to grow. They will be left to stagnate, floundering helplessly, unable to find a publisher and not knowing why. After all, you told her how wonderfully she wrote! What if that writer was you?
Not everyone can take criticism. Not everyone can give it. It's a fine art, both taking and giving. You're doing yourself and your critique group an invaluable service by learning the art of criticism. In giving, a standard rule is to give the kind of critique you would want to receive. Always be sure to acknowledge what you do like, as much as what you don't like. If a writer is attempting humor and it works, use little smiley faces-they pack a lot of punch. Write positive reinforcements in the margins they go a long way, especially if the manuscript needs work in other areas.
No one likes to be told they're wrong. However, as writers, we must consider that with every wrong step we take, we hopefully grow stronger. Learning to take it on the chin and keep writing is one of the requirements for getting published. A genuine pro-published or unpublished-takes criticism, deals with it, and applies it to her work to make it better.
How do you deal with criticism? What do you do when you get a critique that you don't agree with? One way is to nod and say, "thank you". In fact, always say thank you, even if you re not happy with the critique. Take notes when you hear something you don't like. I heard someone say recently that taking notes will allow you time to catch your outraged breath. Try asking questions about what they're saying in a non-threatening, non-defensive, non-accusing voice. Remember, you're growing as a writer. Blackened eyes and pulled hair may be physically satisfying, especially when you're on your tenth rewrite and they still hate your hero, but they add nothing to your growth as a professional. Get a discussion going about the scene under scrutiny. Tell your group what you're attempting, but were obviously failing. Invite their input. Sometimes a point can be made about something the author didn't consider.
Battle the urge to argue. The urge to argue your precious prose is natural. But arguing won't make it work. It's not the reader's job to understand, rather it's the writer's job to communicate. Which doesn't mean the critiquer is always right, but a writer who doesn't consider the suggestions she's given is foolish. Think about it. An author isn't able to interpret or defend the confusing points of her book to her readers, because her editor isn't going to allow her to send along a manual of explanations to include at the end of her book.
If she's doing her job as a storyteller, she should be able to communicate her story without verbally explaining things to her critique group.
Learn to trust your instinct and judgment. It is a mistake to totally depend upon a critique group. It's your story. You're responsible for it. You have a feel for your story better than anyone. Do take comments seriously; however, and write them down; be objective. At the time you might think, no, they're all wrong. My hero isn't a wimp. But then, during revisions, you might discover their criticism had merit. At least you have the option of looking back and making that decision.
It takes real growth as a writer to be able to stomach the whole critiquing process. But would you find any use from a group of back patters who are simply stroking your ego? As painful as critiquing can be at times, no pain-no gain.