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MPT3K

Who is this page NOT for?

DIALING...

YOU HAVE ACCESSED DEEP THROAT 13 EXPERIMENT DATA COMPUTER. PLEASE INPUT ACCESS NAME AND PASSWORD.

NAME: NUWENA
PASSWORD: **** ********

ACCESS GRANTED...

MYSTERY PORN THEATRE 3000

What is it?

It's an EXTREMELY sick idea, created by a bunch of captioners at the Sci-Fi Channel's MST3K Caption This site to refer to some of the Sci-Fi channels less... interesting... programming.

It's a parody of Mystery Science Theatre 3000, which is the property of Best Brains institute. No disrespect is meant to them or to the Sci-Fi channel.

And now, a word from one of the page creators: "PLEASE DON'T SUE! I'M NOT WORTH IT! YOUR LAWYERS WOULD GET NOTHING FROM ME!!!! I'M NOT WORTHY! I'M NOT WORTHY!!!"--Nodrog

LOADING MPT3K BASIC DATA FILE....


MPT3K news:
jsprenge@boces3.org has volunteered to redo the lyrics of the MPT3K song! Let's hear it for that brave soul!

Mystery Porn Theatre 3000, first mentioned in Caption This on Feb. 20, 1998 by Nodrog_CRC.

This information is only what I (with the help of others) have created so far. Please, feel free to sugest any modifications you wish.

MPT3K File, version 3.1415926...

Cast:

Sattelite of Lust:
'Make' Nelson: Wears a skin tight jump suit. Formerly an employee of Studly Temps Employment Agency. So far, we have only been able to find a picture of 'Make's' fathers. Here is one of them accepting 'Make's' high school honor award for "Most Likely to Become a Porn Star.".
'Make' Nelson's other dads:
Speech excerpt: "We don't know where our son is today, but we're sure he would be proud to know that he won this award. We're going to go home and put this in a place of honor, the one right next to our own award, 'Most Likely to Be the Fathers of A Porn Star", and our wife's, most likely to be a presidential intern."

One of Make's dads at work!
Make's mom

Tom Dildo: A talking dildo with a clear head and slinkies for arms.

Crow T Robutt: A robot made of golden Fuck'her ware.

Naughtites: Microscopic lingerie wearing robots

Hypsy: Female robot, extremely sexy and high pitched voice.

PornBot: Formerly one of thus bedroom cameras on the internet.

Winebego of Porn
Pleasently Plump Pearl Forester: Dressed in Lime Green and extremely tight lab coat. Here she is, first thing in the morning, with Prof. Bobo and 'Make' Nelson's great-grandson-in-law.


Nuwena (Played by Bridgett Jones): The MPT3K version of Frank. Talks like a female Torgo and Cheep Porno Music plays where she is. Here she is with the 'butts:

Ob-Smith-Er: Picture Dr. Smith, only bleach white, wearing a robe, and carrying Will's pale white hinie in a dish.
Supposedly, a picture of Ob-Smith-Er's one heterosexual experience. View with caution.


BoBo: The last of a species of nymphomaniac man/apes, seeking to continue the species. Wears a three piece suit.

Story so far:

Wanting to experience heterosexual love, Nuwena tried to seduce Joel Throbinson, the janitor at Deep Throat 13. Pleasently Plump Forrester discovered them and sent Joel into space. Pleasently Plump forced Joel to watch the worst pornos ever made, trying to find a way to stop men from being interested in having sex with women.

Later, still wondering about heterosexual love, Nuwena called the Studley Temp Employment Agency and then tried to get Pleasently Plump out of Deep Throat 13. 'Make' Nelson came to Deep Throat 13 and Hypsy managed to seduce 'Make' Nelson into helping to free Joel.

Pleasently Plump discovered this, hit 'Make' on his 'head' with a frying pan and sent 'Make' to the Sattelite of Lust.

'Make' and the 'butts ('bots) got sent to the edge of the universe and came back, to discover that the Earth was now inhabited by nymphomaniac man/apes who had defrozen 'The Lust Giver' and her assistant.

Well? Any suggestions?


SKIT: "When Mike met 'Make'"
Based on a suggestion by Star 1.
By: Nodrog_CRC
Moved to it's own page. Available: Parts 1 through 5. Ideas extremely welcome.

All ideas appreciated, turn down the lights where applicable, Mike, Crow, and Tom of MST3K is the property of Best Brains Inc, please don't sue, yada yada yada.

Song:

In the not too dissatisfied Future,
Somewhere in the girl's locker room,
Make Nelson and his robot pals
are caught in sexual doom.

Pursued by an evil woman who is 'Pleasently Plump',
An evil gal who wants to rule the shwartz,
She threw a few vibrators in her purse,
and in a rocket powered dildo she hunts them all accross the universe.

"I'll send him cheesy pornos, with people who'd do any trick...
He'll have to watch them all and I'll monitor his... farenugen."

Now keep in mind 'Make' can't control when the pornos begin or end,
He'll have to keep his sexuality, with the help of his two hands...

Robutt role call...
PornBot "The vibrater is on!"
Hypsy "Take me, Richard Basehart! Now!"
Tom Dildo "Hi, Ho!"
Crooooooooooooooooooooooooow "Shake that money maker!"

If you're wondering how he eats (pussy) and Breeds,
And other sexual facts;
Just repeat to yourself It's just a rod, I should realy just relax;

For Mystery Porn Theatre, Three Thous-and...................

For more information on MPT3K, send your E-Mail address, year of birth, and some form of nickname we can use to refer to you.

To submit ideas for this page, send an E-Mail to Nodrog_CRC@hotmail.com


MPT3K's CAPTION THIS



Scypha:
Thank you Mistress, May I have another?

Nodrog:
That's the biggest Tazer gun I've ever seen!

What is it? I got it off the Sci-Fi channel, and it's very, very... not good. E-Mail your best caption for this, along with what handle you want to be shown as and if you want your E-Mail or not. I'll post the winners here.

My E-Mail: Nodrog_CRC@hotmail.com
Page last edited by Nodrog_CRC at 9:20 AM, EST, April 2, 1998.

Email: nodrog_crc@hotmail.com