Newspaper classified ads ...     These are actual newspaper clippings of items for sale that the advertisers obviously didn't proof read before sending to press.

Newspaper classified ads

Free Yorksire Terrier.
8 years old, hateful little dog.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Free puppies: 1/2 Cocker Spaniel 1/2 Sneaky neighbors dog
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Free puppies ... Part German Shepard part stupid dog.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Found: Dirty white dog.
Looks like a rat.
Been out for awhile.
Better be reward.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

1 Man, 7 Woman hot tb - $850/offer
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Snow blower for sale.
Only used on snowy days.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

2 Wire mesh butchering gloves:
1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, PAIR: $15
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Tickle me Elmo, still in box, comes with its own 1988 Mustang, 5L, Auto,
Excellent condition $6800
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Cows for sale. Never bred calves.
Also 1 gay bull for sale.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Full sized mattress.
20 YR. warranty.
Like new. Slight urine smell
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Nordic track $300 hardly used, call Chubby.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Bill's septic cleaning "We haul american made product"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Hummels - Largest selection ever "If it's in stock, we have it!"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Harrisburg Postal employees gun club
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Georgia peaches California grown - 89 cents lb.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Nice parachute:
Never opened - used once
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Tire of working for only $9.75 per hour?
We offer profit haring and flexible hours.
Starting pay: $7 - $9 per hour.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Exercise equipment:
Queen size mattress & box springs - $175.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Our sofa will seat the whole mob.
100% Italian leather.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Joining nudist colony!
Selling washer & dryer $300.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Alzheimer's center prepares for an affair to remember.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Open house body shapers toning salon free coffee & donuts.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

For sale by owner. Complete set of Encyclopedia
Britannica. 45 volumes.
Excellent condition. $1,000.00 OBO.
No longer needed. Recently married; wife knows everything.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Illiterate?
Write today for free help.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery.
Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Our experienced Mom will care for your child.
Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Dog for sale:
eats anything and is fond of children.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Man wanted to work in dynamite factory.
Must be willing to travel.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Stock up and save. Limit: one.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Semi-Annual after Christmas Sale
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

3 year old teacher needed for pre-school.
Experience preferred.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting off head illusion.
Blue Cross and salary.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

For sale: very large antique desk.
Suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

For sale. Three canaries of undermined sex.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Great Dames for sale.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.


E-MAIL