This is your son, James "Lansten" Bass! I have some very exciting news. I have a girlfriend. You just have to meet her! She is beautiful. She has long, thick hair, and fake nails, and man, she's just beautiful. Anyway, her name is Topenga. All the guys tease me and say that I am stupid for dating such a...umm..i think they said, "cheap whore,"..yeah, I am pretty sure that's what they called her, anyway, I am not exactly sure what they mean, but she is purty. Gospel truth. I miss ya'll so much. Sometimes, when I think no ones around I'll cry, not because I'm dating a cheap whore, or because my adam's apple is so huge, or because in some lights I look like a woman, but because I miss Mississippi. No one understands my pain, I try to tell them..."but that's cause I'm from Mississippi," but all they do is laugh and elbow each other. Well, I can't wait to see ya'll again and I'll talk to ya real soon.

Giddying Up, Lansten