Last night/early this morning, 4:40 am, pretty boy sign stealer comes up to the sign. He grabs it from underneath, not touching the surface of the sign itself, which is heavily oiled. The sign is starting to look like something that you'd find clogging your shower drain. It is covered with tiny leaves, fly away weed seeds, dirt, grime, human hair, dead insects, and anything else that is blowing in the wind.
So he pulls it straight up from the bottom, the crown of thorns rears up like a giant serpent's tail, the alarm goes off, he stands looking quizzical for a split second, then drops the sign and the metal frame in it's place and runs. This latest suspect bears an uncanny resemblance to one of my young, Bush supporting neighbors.