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Hello. I was approached to write a column on life. So here is my lame attempt. What is the meaning of life? Who knows? No one knows. If no one knows, doesn't that mean it might not have a meaning? I mean, c'mon, people. We put a guy on the moon. We have machines that think. We have overcome many diseases and other things that suck .. a lot. Shouldn't we have found a meaning for life by now? "It is an age old question," they say. It didn't take long for humankind to figure out that Kathy Lee was evil, so why don't we have an answer to the meaning of life? I'll tell you why. It's a conspiracy, I tell you, a conspiracy. They don't want you to know. You may ask, "Colin, who is they?" My response to you would be, first of all, "Correct subject / verb conjugation is nice." Then, I would respond, "I can't tell you." Let the truth be known: I do not know who they are. All I know is that 'They' are evil. They put things like an eject button on a remote control. What's the deal with that? You're thinking what a great idea, this will save me time and energy. Only for you to find out that you still have to get up and take out the DVD or VHS tape. If you have only VHS, I advise you to get a DVD player. Not because it has great video quality and crisp sound, but because it's cool. I mean c'mon .. it's a movie on a disk. Now THAT is cool. Plus, you can tell your friends I have a toaster, and they'll be like, "A toaster? You're excited because you have a toaster?" Intelligently, you reply "NO, stupid head! I have a DVD player. I was just telling you that I have a toaster, also. Gawd, you're a geek wad." You will make many a friend that way. Another thing I think is important that everyone should know about life: never trust a white man with cornrows, or any man with a soul patch. |
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Life |
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commentary by Colin Ledet |
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July 12, 2002 |
