Henrietta goes to Hollywood Dear Henrietta, Thank you for your interest in Choco-Cookie brand cookies. We have reviewed your candidate form and believe that you would be a great star in our next commercial. We are really happy that you are such a supporter and buyer of Choco-Cookie brand cookies, that we are pleased to tell you that you have purchased a record number of our products! We are all looking forward to meeting you. Enclosed is a check of $650, to cover your expenses of traveling and staying in Hollywood. We have a room reserved for you at the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel. We will see you soon! Sean Summers, President of Choco-Cookie Henrietta was overjoyed. Thanks to her co-workers encouragement, Henrietta had applied for an interview with Choco-Cookie and had been accepted! Choco-Cookie was her absolute favorite type of cookie and it is an honor to be accepted for an interview. Henrietta knew that the interview was in seven days, so she should get packed and leave tomorrow if she was going to drive her truck to Hollywood. It was 8:30 am - six days until her interview. Henrietta put her three bags into the bed of her truck. Henrietta was so excited to be going to Hollywood that she nearly forgot to grab a snack to eat before she began her long journey to Hollywood. Henrietta rushed back inside to grab a plate of cookies and a few pans of brownies that she baked that morning. She also wanted to make sure that she had shut off her water, stove, fan, and lights. Henrietta then hurried back out to her truck and started off for Hollywood. After driving for about two hours Henrietta was starving! All that excitement and anticipation can really make a hippo hungry! Henrietta noticed that there was an exit for a truck stop ahead and Henrietta knew that there had to be some sort of food there. Henrietta pulled off of the interstate and into a truck stop. "Wow! Look at all of those semis!" Henrietta remarked, "Well, I will go into this place that says 'Restaurant' on the side of it... what a down to earth place!" Henrietta parked her truck, made sure her luggage was completely tied down, grabbed her purse and went inside. Upon entering the restaurant, Henrietta noticed that there were a lot of smokers inside, because there was a predominant fog of smoke lingering in the air. A waitress with a cigarette in her mouth came over to Henrietta. "You here to eat?" The woman asked Henrietta "Yes! I've been driving for quite some time! I'm really hungry. Do you have a non-smoking section?" Henrietta remarked in a chipper voice. "Follow me..." The waitress said, sounding not too interesting in making a conversation with Henrietta. Then waitress took Henrietta to a seat, removed an ashtray and dropped off a menu. "What a charming place!" Henrietta noted to herself, and opened the menu. After pondering over the food selections, Henrietta decided that she would have the steak, baked potato, coleslaw and beans. Henrietta looked around for her waitress to order and to get something to drink but all of the waitresses were sitting down talking with the truckers that filled the restaurant. "Well... I shouldn't bother the waitresses right now." Henrietta thought, "It would be rude to interrupt their conversation... I will be polite and wait until they are finished." Henrietta waited. After about a half an hour, the waitresses did not come over to Henrietta. "Gee! I'm beginning to get very hungry!" Henrietta thought. "I believe that it would be appropriate to interrupt them now." Henrietta motioned at the waitresses and one disgusted waitress came over to Henrietta. "What do you want?" The waitress sneered. "I would like to have the Steak, rare, the baked potato, with extra sour cream and butter, the coleslaw and the baked beans. They sound delicious! Oh... bring me a Diet Coke too!" "Sure thing Hun..." The waitress said, walked off and returned with a Pepsi. "I'm sorry," Henrietta said. "I must have been unclear about my drink. I would like to have something diet. Do you have a Diet Pepsi?" "No." "What about lemonade?" "No." "Iced tea?" "No." "How about a glass of water?" "You wouldn't want to drink that." The waitress noted and opened the can of Pepsi and handed it to Henrietta. "Well, thank you for the Pepsi!" Henrietta told the waitress, but the waitress ignored her and walked off. After waiting for a while Henrietta looked around the room. There were at least 60 truck drivers here. A few of them were making kissing faces at Henrietta. Henrietta blushed, and took out War and Peace, the book that she had with her. After a few more minutes, her food arrived. She looked at the plate and there was a taco, half a chicken, three-bean salad and a baked potato with extra sour cream and extra butter. "Um... excuse me!" Henrietta said to the waitress before she took off in the opposite direction. "I ordered steak. I think you gave me the wrong order..." "No. I remember what you ordered. This is what you said. Anyway it's our special." "Well, all right then. But I can assure you that I did order steak." "No you didn't" The waitress said and walked off, and Henrietta began eating. "At least they got the baked potato right!" Henrietta thought and ate through all of her food. Henrietta though that the food was delicious. After waiting for the waitress, Henrietta paid $19.17 for her meal and left a tip of $4.00. "That was a little expensive!" Henrietta thought, but left the restaurant. When she got to her truck, she noticed that her luggage had been messed with. "Oh no!" Henrietta exclaimed, and ran over to her truck. Her luggage had been mangled, but her locks that she put on her luggage had deterred the thief. The only thing missing was the pan from her cookies that was in the bed of the truck. "Well... at least the cookie pan can be replaced." Henrietta said and fixed her luggage up. Henrietta hopped into her truck. She started it and took off toward her next stop, Des Moines, Iowa. After a few more hours it was getting close to 7:00. Henrietta was tired, but luckily she had just gotten to Des Moines. She pulled off the interstate and pulled into her hotel. It was the Baymont Hotel. Henrietta checked in and made sure she got a room with a king sized bed. Henrietta went to her room, and hurried into the bathroom. Afterward, Henrietta decided that she would order room service for the night. Henrietta called down to the front desk and ordered a salad, 2 pounds of pork ribs, and a large order of French Fries. The desk told her that the food should be there in about 30 minutes. While waiting for her food, Henrietta decided that she would check out the television. After taking a while to figure out that the TV was in the cabinet in front of her bed, Henrietta opened up the cabinet and turned on the TV. Henrietta flipped through a few of the channels and was amazed. "Wow! This hotel has so many channels!" Henrietta remarked. She had always been used to watching network TV and not Cable TV. Henrietta decided that she would watch the station called "HBO", because it was playing her favorite movie, "Fried Green Tomatoes." Henrietta's favorite part of the movie is when that Evelyn Couch (Kathy Bates) dresses up in saran-wrap. Before Henrietta knew it, she had her food gone and the movie was over. Henrietta then cleaned up and went to bed. It had been a long day. It was 9:00 am - five days until the interview. Henrietta got all of her clothes packed up and her truck reloaded. This time she moved her bags to the passenger seat of her truck and moved the brownie and cookie pans that she had in the cab of her truck to the back. After grabbing a bite at the nearby Cracker Barrel, Henrietta took off toward Topeka, Kansas. Henrietta had been driving for about an hour before she decided to spice up the atmosphere of her driving. She opened up the glove compartment of her truck and grabbed her favorite Enya tape. Henrietta popped the tape into the tape player and hummed away with her favorite Enya hit, "Orinoco Flow". While humming and driving Henrietta noticed that many people kept passing her. She was going at a fairly fast speed of 60 miles per hour (her truck had problems going any faster with such a hefty load of her suitcases and other odds and ends she brought with her) but some people flew by her almost as if she was going 10 miles per hour! Some people even gave Henrietta obscene gestures, but Henrietta knew that it was best not to get angry with those people and smile. Henrietta smiled and waved at all of the people that gave her the "finger". Even though Henrietta thought that she was being nice, some of the people got furious with her ability to stay calm and nice. They pulled up next to her, rolled down their windows and yelled. Henrietta couldn't hear what they where yelling but thought that they all enjoyed Enya, so Henrietta cranked up her stereo so they could hear. Now the angry people swerved and tried to knock Henrietta off of the road. Even though Henrietta was mildly upset that they were being so rude, she drove on and sooner or later the angry people were pulled over by state troopers. "I am so glad that there are good people like peace officers out there to look out for the people like me!" Henrietta though and kept driving. Soon Henrietta was crossing over into Kansas, and relieved that she had gotten this far. After listening to the all of her tape and still humming a happy tune, Henrietta noticed that there were flashing red lights behind her and sirens. "Oh my! There must be an accident! I better pull off the road to let the emergency vehicles by me!" Henrietta thought and pulled off the road. But to Henrietta's surprise, a state trooper car pulled up behind her. Henrietta was worried but rolled down her window. "Is everything OK?" Henrietta asked, "Was there an accident?" "Well, not yet, but there could have been an accident. Do you know how fast you were going?" The officer asked. "Around sixty..." "No, you were going around ninety. I have to write you a ticket for speeding. License and registration please." Henrietta opened her glove box and handed the officer the information, but was astonished. "I really couldn't have been going that fast!" Henrietta said. "My speedometer only goes to eighty!" "You trying to be smart with me??" The officer commanded his question at Henrietta. "No, I'm not, but I really think that there is a problem with your radar. Maybe it needs to be calibrated? Or maybe you tracked a different vehicle?" "That isn't possible. Maybe you're not reading your speedometer correctly, tubby!" "Please don't get angry!" Henrietta tried to calm the officer down. "That's it! Get out of the truck!" "Why?" "You're drunk! You are going to get the sobriety test!" "But I don't drink!" "Stop talking back to me! I will shoot you if you get any more hostile!" the officer yelled at Henrietta. Henrietta quickly got out of her truck and followed the officer's orders. After going through all of the tests numerous times and giving the officer 20 dollars, Henrietta was let off with only a warning. "My! He was rough!" Henrietta said to herself, but kept on going toward Topeka. Before she knew it, Henrietta was checked into The Topeka Holiday Inn, done eating at the Hotel Topeka Restaurant Buffet and fast asleep in her room. It was 8:50 a.m. - four days until the interview. Henrietta raided the little refrigerator in her room and headed off for Denver. Her trip was pretty uneventful and Henrietta checked into her room with not a problem. It was 9:15 a.m. - three days until the interview. Henrietta left Denver and headed toward Las Vegas. Henrietta remembered her lovely adventure at Las Vegas before and decided to watch some of the shows that were going on there. By 2:00 p.m. she had tried eating at numerous buffets that she had enjoyed before and watched some of the magic shows that were there today. Henrietta then decided to visit Caesar's Palace. Afterwards, it was nearly 7:00 and Henrietta decided to check in somewhere and spend the night in Vegas, again. Henrietta checked into the Bellagio, and decided to play a quick game of craps. Henrietta did roll, "boxcars" and "snake eyes" numerous times but after winning she decided to give a little back to the casino because she felt like she was taking away from them. It was such a nice place that Henrietta wanted to make sure that they had enough money to keep up the lovely quality of Vegas. Henrietta went to her room and looked over her money situation. Henrietta had spent $20 dollars in gambling and gotten back $238. Henrietta was overwhelmed! What a day! It was 10:35 a.m. - two days until the interview. Henrietta said goodbye to Vegas and took off toward Los Angeles. After driving for a while, Henrietta noticed that the traffic was coming to a stand still and that there was an orange sign next to the road. "Oh no! Road construction!" Henrietta said to herself. It was nearly 11:45, and the wait looked like it was going to be a long one. Nearly an hour later Henrietta had not moved an inch. She was really wishing that she hadn't drank all of those Roy Rogers before she left her hotel, because she was going to need to use the facilities, soon! After another half an hour Henrietta noticed that there was a portable bathroom fixture near the side of the road. Henrietta put her truck in park and ran to the bathroom. When she was done, she realized that traffic had begun again and her big truck was holding all of the people behind her up. Some people where even getting out of their cars with baseball bats, walking up toward Henrietta's truck! "I'm so sorry!" Henrietta yelled at the angry people. "Well, you'll be really sorry when I get to you!" An angry person with a baseball bat yelled. Henrietta rushed over to her truck and took off, leaving all of the angry people behind. "They must have gotten up on the wrong side of the bed!" Henrietta thought. By now it was past 1:00 and time to get some lunch. Henrietta pulled off at Denny's to grab a bite. When Henrietta walked into Denny's Henrietta noticed that there was a lot a families here and lots children. When she sat down at the table she noticed that immediately a quite a few children started crying. "Poor children!" Henrietta thought. "I wonder if they will be beaten for crying?" Henrietta decided not to think about it and order the surf-and-turf of lobster and steak. After she was done, she paid and left Denny's, full and happy. Henrietta set off, again, for Los Angeles. By the time she arrived, Henrietta decided to stay at the first place she came to because she could barely keep from falling asleep. Henrietta pulled off at a motel, checked in and crashed on the bed. It was 11:00 a.m. - one day until the interview. Henrietta loaded her truck and left the motel. By now she knew that she could take it easy getting to Hollywood. Hollywood was only two and a half-hours away. Pretty soon, she was in front of the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel. Now a man dressed in a uniform came to Henrietta. "I'm the valet. Would you like to have your vehicle in a covered lot or open?" the uniformed man said. "Well, open would be fine. Thanks Valet!" Henrietta told the man. The man smiled and grabbed Henrietta's bags and handed them to her. Henrietta gave him a key and he drove off to the parking area with Henrietta's truck. Now another uniformed man came over to Henrietta. "I'm the bellhop. I will take you luggage to your room. What's your name?" "Henrietta" "Ok, we've been expecting you. You are on floor 5. Follow me." Henrietta followed the bellhop. The wonderful decorations and color of the hotel astounded Henrietta. It was beautiful. Henrietta couldn't wait to look around. Maybe she would see a movie star! When Henrietta got to her room, she tipped the bellhop one dollar, and went inside. Henrietta unpacked her luggage and hid her valuables under the bed. Henrietta grabbed her purse and trotted down to the lobby to check things out. When Henrietta came to the lobby she noticed someone very familiar. It was Roseanne Barr (Arnold)! "My idol!" Henrietta said and rushed over to talk with the large star. "You're Roseanne!" Henrietta said. "And you're fat!" Roseanne said. "Ha ha! You're funny." "I know. But you actually are very fat. You're like me!" Henrietta was grateful! To be considered like a movie star. Wow! "Well I have tired dieting but it hasn't always worked." Henrietta told Roseanne. "You know, I wrote a book about being fat and about its advantages. Why don't I bring you a copy, signed, so you can enjoy it?" Roseanne told Henrietta. "That would be great!" Henrietta replied. "Well, I have a date with a plate of cookies! I will meet you here tonight about 9:00?" "That sounds great! See you then!" Henrietta responded to Roseanne as Roseanne left. "I love Roseanne!!" Henrietta said to herself. "Well, I need to get some new clothes to impress the interview people! I know there has to be some sort of fancy clothing shops around here." So with that in mind Henrietta swung her purse onto her shoulder and marched out of the hotel. After numerous tries of trying to flag a cab, Henrietta finally was able to get someone. "Wo ist ihr geht?" The cab driver asked Henrietta. "What? I didn't quite catch that." Henrietta replied confused. The cab driver looked back at Henrietta. He didn't say anything, but then turned back around and began driving. "Where are we going??" Henrietta asked frantically. "Ihr esseht, ja? Ihr seid das obst serh gro§. Ha ha!" "Oh no! He doesn't speak English!" Henrietta thought. "It sounds like he speaks German..." "Sprechen de Deutsch? (Do you speak German?)" The cab driver asked. Henrietta remembered some German from High School and decided to try and talk to the cab driver. "Nein... Die Kleidung? (No... clothing?)" "Dumm! Das Kaufhaus dort druben. (Stupid! The department store is over there.)" "Ja. Halten dort druben. (Yes. Stop over there)" Henrietta told the driver. The driver pulled over to the department store and indicated that the fare was $8.00. Henrietta paid him the money and tipped him one dollar. The cab driver pulled away, but seemed to be laughing at Henrietta. "What a crazy person!" Henrietta told herself and walked inside. Once Henrietta was inside, she headed for the large person's work outfits. When she got there, she noticed that there was some very nice moo-moos, and a few suits. Then a store employee walked over to Henrietta. "There are our finest moo-moos!" The woman said. "Well, they are lovely, but I would like something professional." "How about one of these suits? We probably will need to tailor it here, due to your interesting form. We could have it ready in a few hours." "That sounds great! Measure me up for one of those fancy black suits." "Ok... put your arms out and I will measure you." The woman measured Henrietta's waist, bust, neck, legs, arms and height. "Do you want our professional package? It includes shoes, a tie, a scarf, a blouse and a full-length jacket." "Sure... that would be wonderful!" Henrietta couldn't wait. She would look outstanding. "Ok... the total will come to $950.14." "Oh my!" Henrietta said. "That's awfully expensive..." "Well, it's the finest materials!" "Ok, here is the money." Henrietta handed the money to the women in large bills. Henrietta always liked to carry cash, not checks. Anyway Henrietta did win a little bit of money from gambling. "Thank you very much!! We will have the outfit ready in three hours. Why don't you check out the other stores around here?" "Ok, thank you!" Henrietta said and walked out of the store. While Henrietta was pondering whether or not to go into "Ye Olde Chocolate Treats Shoppe" or not, a large person came over to Henrietta. "Give me your money!" He demanded Henrietta. "What? Yes, I do like honey." Henrietta said. "That's not what I said you idiot! Give me your money." "I'll show you the money!" Henrietta said and started to unbutton her shirt. "No, stop!" The man said and grabbed Henrietta purse. "Oh no!" Henrietta said and tried to get her purse back from the robber. Henrietta wasn't fast enough and the robber ran away and took off in his car. "Pooh!" Henrietta yelled. She was mad. When Henrietta gets mad, you had better back off. Henrietta made a mental note of the robber's car and his license plate number. It was a green Le Baron with a license plate number of ERP-134. Henrietta when into the chocolate store and asked to use the phone. Henrietta phoned the police and notified them of the robbery. The police seemed to be concerned about this because there had been a lot of robberies like this reported lately and this was the first big lead that they had received. Henrietta gave them the hotel's number and her room number, so they could contact her later. Luckily Henrietta did keep all of her money in her bra, so the thief didn't take much. By now, it had been three hours and Henrietta went back to the department store to get her outfit. "Here is your new outfit! It looks wonderful, try it on!" The woman said. "Sure!" Henrietta grabbed the outfit and went into the changing room. When she got changed, and came out she was amazed. She looked like a million dollars and Delta Burke combined! "You look incredibly professional!" "Thank you! What a wonderful job. I think that I will wear it out of here." "Ok, thank you again! It's been a pleasure doing business with you!" The woman told Henrietta and waved. Henrietta was pleased. She would surely get the job now. When Henrietta went outside, she noticed that when she went to flag a cab, she didn't have any problems. "Wow! This is service!" Henrietta said to herself and got into a cab. "Hi there! Where do you want to go?" "To the Roosevelt Hotel, please." "Oh my gosh! Are you Rosie O'Donnel?" the cab driver asked. "Oh no, certainly not." Henrietta didn't like Rosie O'Donnel. "Well, you look like her!" The cab driver said. "I don't think I do, but that's Ok. Please, let's get going." "Ok, sure!" The cab driver drove Henrietta to the Hotel. "How much is it?" Henrietta asked. "It's free! Especially for you." The cab driver turned around and winked. Henrietta thanked the driver and went into the hotel. Immediately lots of people turned around and took pictures of Henrietta. "There's a famous star!" A mother told her child. "You should be like her when you get older!" "Is that Rosie O'Donnel?" Another person asked. "No it's that woman from that stock commercial... VBNM!" "No it's Oprah!" Henrietta was overjoyed. She looked like a famous person! "I can't wait to show Roseanne!" Henrietta said and walked through the crowd of eager people. Henrietta was finally able to get to her room after battling her many fans. "My! I can't believe those people! I'm not a famous person at all. Oh well. I think I will just order room service." Henrietta told herself and hung up her jacket and scarf. Henrietta decided that she wanted to be safe and not get her new outfit dirty so she changed back into her old clothes. Henrietta called room service and ordered a full chicken, a large chef salad, a large twice-baked potato and a extra sized chocolate sundae. "Boy, all of this excitement of a robbery and a new outfit really makes me hungry!" Henrietta said and turned on the TV. Henrietta changed the TV channel to HBO and started to watch "The Sopranos" and wait for her food to arrive. Soon Henrietta's food arrived and Henrietta feasted. Soon it was 9:00 and Henrietta left her room to go to the lobby and meet with Roseanne. When Henrietta got down there she saw Roseanne eating a donut and Henrietta hurried over to her. "Hi Roseanne!" Henrietta said. "Hey there. Want a donut?" Roseanne offered a jelly-filled donut to Henrietta. "Yum, my favorite!" "Yeah, it looks like you have a lot of favorites!" "Ha ha! You're funny." "Well, did you have an exciting day?" "I got robbed, and I got a new outfit." "You got robbed? That jerk! I will kill whoever did that... do you know his license plate number?" "Yes, it's ERP-134." When Henrietta told Roseanne that, Roseanne ran out of the lobby, grabbed a shotgun out of her jacket and ran down the street. "Well, it looks like she has some serious business to do!" Henrietta thought and turned around. When she did this she noticed that a woman that looked very familiar was watching her. Henrietta walked over to the woman. "Do I know you, you look very familiar!" Henrietta told the woman. "No, I'm Ellen Degenerus. You must have seen me on TV." "You're Ellen!" Henrietta exclaimed. "Yep. How about we go up to my room, and I show you a stunt that I learned in bed." "Well, that's awfully nice, but I think I should be headed back to my room." "Whatever. My room number is 509 if you change your mind." Ellen looked a little disgusted that Henrietta didn't go up to her room. Henrietta walked off and went back to her room. When she got in, she noticed that there was a message on her messaging service. When she listened to the message she realized that it was the police station and they have caught the person that stole her purse. She needed to go into the station tomorrow at 2:00pm. "Well, my interview gets over with at 12:30. That will give me enough time to eat and to get to the station." Henrietta thought to herself and got ready for bed. Henrietta fell asleep instantly with thoughts of being a star going in her mind. It was 8:00 - the day of the interview. Henrietta quickly ate a granola bar that she had, got cleaned up and got dressed. She was ready and eager to get the interview over with. Henrietta grabbed her jacket and scarf and left her room. Henrietta was able to leave the hotel with less effort this time, because not to many people were down in the lobby. Once she got out to the street she crossed it and went inside of Mann's Chinese Theater, the location of her interview. When she got inside, the host asked for her name and when she told him Henrietta he immediately began calling her Miss Hippo and being extra kind. He told her to follow him and Henrietta did. He took her to a large conference room. When she go there she noticed that there were a lot of TV executives and they all greeted her. After asking numerous questions Henrietta was done. She was so glad! She knew that the interview went really well. She now had to go back home and wait for a call from them and they guaranteed that she would get some part in the commercial. She would be filmed at their location in Chicago and she couldn't wait. Henrietta left the Theater and looked at her watch. It was 12:45, and she needed to get her things packed and ready to head home. 1:30 - after the interview. Henrietta revved her engine up. She was so glad that she could be back in her truck. She tipped the valet for getting her vehicle and took off toward the police station. She got there with no trouble and went in. She noticed that her purse was on a table waiting for her. "Oh boy! My purse!" Henrietta exclaimed and picked up her treasured purse. "Thanks so much!" Henrietta told the officer that was there. "It wasn't a problem. But we need you to identify the person that stole your purse." He took Henrietta to a room. Once there Henrietta saw the person that had stolen her purse. Before the officer could ask any questions Henrietta walked up to the guy and punched him in the stomach. The robber keeled over and Henrietta walked out. She had identified the robber. Now Henrietta left Los Angeles and Hollywood. She was getting anxious to get home. It would be a long journey home, but Henrietta was proud. She had survived another adventure and was sure that more adventures were just around the corner.