Donny: Your phone's ringing, Dude.
The Dude: Thank you, Donny.
Maude Lebowski: What do you do for recreation?
The Dude: Oh, the usual. Bowl, drive around. The occasional acid flashback.
Maude Lebowski: You can imagine where it goes from here.
The Dude: He fixes the cable?
Maude Lebowski: Don't be fatuous, Jeffrey.
Thug: [holding up a bowling ball] What the fuck is this?
The Dude: Obviously you're not a golfer.
Walter Sobchak: Fucking dipshit with a nine toed woman.
The Dude: Man, if my fuckin' ex-wife asked me to take care of her fuckin' dog while she and her boyfriend went to Honolulu I'd tell her to go fuck herself.
The Dude: My...my wi, my wife, Bunny? Do you see a wedding ring on my finger? Does this place look like I'm fucking married? The toilet seat's up, man!
Walter Sobchak: Oh, come on Donny, they were threatening castration!
The Dude: Yeah, well. The Dude abides.
The Stranger: The Dude abides. I don't know about you but I take comfort in that. It's good knowin' he's out there. The Dude. Takin' 'er easy for all us sinners. Shoosh. I sure hope he makes the finals.
Jesus Quintana: Let me tell you something pendejo, you pull any of your crazy shit with us, you flash your piece out on the lanes, I'll take it away from you and stick it up your ass and pull the fucking trigger 'till it goes click.
The Dude: Jesus.
Jesus Quintana: You said it man. Nobody fucks with the Jesus.
Walter Sobchak: He lives in North Hollywood on Radford, near the In-and-Out Burger--
The Dude: The In-and-Out Burger is on Camrose.
Walter Sobchak: Near the In-and-Out Burger--
Donny: Those are good burgers, Walter.
Walter Sobchak: Shut the fuck up, Donny.
The Stranger: Do you have to use so many cuss words?
The Dude: What the fuck you talking about?
Walter Sobchak: Those rich fucks! This whole fucking thing... I did not watch my buddies die face down in the muck so that this fucking strumpet--
The Dude: I don't see any connection to Vietnam, Walter.
Walter Sobchak: Well, there isn't a literal connection, Dude.
The Dude: Walter, face it, there isn't any connection.
Walter Sobchak: This is not Nam. This is bowling. There are rules.
Jeffrey Lebowski: Isn't that what makes a man?
The Dude: Mmm, sure. That and a pair of testicles.
Walter Sobchak: Donny, were you listening to The Dude's story?
Donny: What?
Walter Sobchak: Were you listening to The Dude's story?
Donny: No, I was bowling.
Walter Sobchak: So you have no point of reference, Donny. You're like a child that wanders INTO THE MIDDLE OF A MOVIE!
The Dude: What's your point, Walter?!
Donny: Yeah, Walter, what's your point?
Walter Sobchak: The man in the black pajamas, Dude. Worthy fuckin' adversary.
Donny: Who's in pajamas Walter?
Walter Sobchak: Shut the fuck up, Donny.
Walter: Am I wrong?
The Dude: No.
Walter: Am I wrong?
The Dude: Yeah.
Walter: Okay then.
Tony the Chauffeur: So he says "My wife's a pain in the ass. She's always busting my friggin' agates. My daughter's married to a real loser bastard. And I got a rash so bad on my ass, I can't even sit down. But you know me. I can't complain."
The Dude: Fuckin'-A, man. I got a rash, man.
Coffee Shop Waitress: Excuse me, sir. Could you please keep your voices down? This is a family restaurant.
Walter Sobchak: Oh please, dear. For your information, the Supreme Court has roundly rejected prior restraint.
Thug: Where's the money, Lebowski? Where's the fucking money, shithead?
Dude: It's uh-- uh-- it's down there somewhere, let me take another look.
Walter: Am I wrong?
Dude: No you're not wrong.
Walter: Am I wrong?
Dude: You're not wrong Walter. You're just an asshole.
Walter: All right then.
Dude: We're screwed now! We don't get shit! They're going to kill her! We're fucked, Walter!
Walter: Nothing is fucked, Dude. C'mon, you're being very un-Dude.
Dude: My only hope is that the big Lebowski kills me before the Germans can cut my dick off.
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