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March 11, 2003 Project September, North Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada

“Ladies and gentlemen, my colleague and I have come to you with the plea to allow us to finish Project September. Estatamiam 262 is almost done! But we need funding, we’re trying to dignify Earth’s future!” “Professor Windsor, what you are proposing seems impossible, all that you are doing are mixing elements that already exist on the periodic table. Your chemical doesn’t make sense.” “I don’t even know why I started this project in the first place. I’m trying to save the world, and all you are doing is keeping us from completing it!” “Are you questioning the United Nations on behalf a stupid project that only started by accident?”

“Oh, God, their bickering can get so annoying sometimes.” Whispered Dr. Isaac Ryerson to one of his friends in the upper stands of the General Assembly. “I know, Windsor has been doing this for three months now, have you completed any work on the project?” Replied the seated neighbour. “No, with our budget and the small grant from UBC, all we could get was a litre of each of only ten elements. I don’t think we’ll ever get anywhere.” Whispered Ryerson.

“Ok, we have these three compounds: 353, contents: Santonite, Argon, Platinum, and Nitro-glycerine. 726, contents: Krypton, Cesium, Uranium, and Californium. 163, contents: Neon, Hydrogen, Plutonium, Laridium, and Liquid Gold.” Said Ryerson, walking through his lab. “Do you seriously expect me to believe that you’re going to make estatamium from these solutions?” Cried Windsor. “It’s not like you have done any help to make anyway.” Scowled Dr. Ryerson, in reply. He had been on this project for weeks with his minimal funding, and he had no idea what to do know. He walked along the corridor of his lab. Touching each canister with the Solutions. “ I don’t even think I should continue this stupid project.” And with a wave of his arms, he screams, “I quit!” But in the exact moment at which he waved his arms in rage, a canister of...

 

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