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THE TOP TEN REASONS THE VILLAGE ELDERS FIND CONSTABLE CRANE INSUFFERABLE

by Adrienne

 

10) Survival of the fittest isn't what it used to be.

9) He's an absolute magnet for powers against which there is no defense.

8) The whole fiasco makes you wish that your wife had kept her mouth shut on the night he arrived. Boarding him with the Killians would have been so much less of a hassle.

7) Reverend Steenwyck's pompous enough as it is.

6) Don't even mention his prowess in the saddle.

5) It's heartening to know that the New York constabulary thought highly enough of your plight to send you an officer who can't listen to a ghost story without his teacup rattling.

4) It's embarrassing to watch your daughter fall for a faint-hearted bookworm when she could have the brawny town heartthrob.

3) How hard is it to infer the meaning of "five victims in four graves" without launching a full-scale exhumation and a bloody autopsy?

2) It's highly unwise to put odds on the probability that your host is behind the murders.

1) Of course it was a powerful singular thrust to the neck!

 

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