THE BURGOMASTER'S TOP TEN REASONS FOR DISPATCHING ICHABOD TO SLEEPY HOLLOW

by Adrienne

10) If the name Baltus Van Tassel indicates as much about the man bearing it as Crane's name says about him, then this case is right up his alley.

9) The smaller the population, the less likely he is to be fishing bodies out of the river.

8) Hopefully, those rough and ready country law enforcers will have even less of a tolerance for fainting in the ranks than we do.

7) The spiders will probably scare him to death before the "ghost" even gets to him.

6) If we're lucky, he'll slip out of the saddle before he even mounts the horse.

5) Perhaps he'll settle down with some country lass who's too ignorant to realize how bizarre his hobbies are.

4) Those god-fearing farmers will tear him limb from limb with field tools at the first mention of autopsies.

3) He'll catch hell if he sets something on fire with those chemical reactions of his.

2) On the downside, one look at those implements of his might convince the locals that we've sent a dentist rather than a constable.

1) What use is your brain if it's severed from your body?