What is Peter's middle name?
-Mary, Pittsburgh, PA
His middle name is "Badass." Great question.
Why did Peter and Shalom Harlow break up?
-Bhalom Carlow, Anytown, USA
Get off the computer, Shalom.
I think you have a typo. Don’t you mean “Stellan Skarsgård"?
-Brian, Palm Beach, FL
Interesting question. While it may appear that for all intents and purposes they are the same man, Peter Sarsgaard is, indeed, a separate human being. However, in the interest of accuracy, we will concede that neither Jill nor Liz has ever seen the two men in the same room at the same time.
Wait, I’m confused. Is Peter a sex symbol or not?
-Patti, El Paso, TX
This question has been subject to intensive debate, so your confusion is warranted. Wanting to appear neutral at all times, we will just say that Peter knows how to work what the Good Lord has given him.
Does Peter like Val Kilmer?
-April, Santa Monica, CA
We think this raises an even more interesting question: does anyone like Val Kilmer?
I have noticed that Peter often appears bitter about his career and life in general. Is he OK?
-Al, Chicago, IL
We have heard no reports of Peter being a danger to himself or others, but we appreciate your concern for his mental health. We actually find this to be one of Peter’s most endearing attributes. We appreciate that Peter presents the world as it actually is in his interviews: menacing, worthy of distrust, and focused solely against you (unless you are Hayden Christensen). We say Huzzah! to the man for his unflinching honesty and downright dourness.
I have noticed Peter smoking in a few films. Does he do this to look cool?
-Little Tommy, Soffet Springs, KS
We have heard from several highly suspicious sources that Peter does this to maintain his fine physique. But go henceforth with the knowledge that we learned this from a group of Shriners we interviewed at a local parade who actually thought we were talking about Courtney Love.
Where does Peter live?
-Peep N. Tom, North Hollywood, CA
It is our understanding that Peter was recently spotted in an undisclosed alleyway in the North East. We are unsure whether or not he calls this particular location “home,” but interviews on the scene report that a man known only to them as “P-Gaard” lives in a nearby boxcar. A fund has been established for his benefit.
I have noticed that Peter has appeared in several movies with members of the hip-hop community. Does this represent Peter’s taste in music or merely a phase in filmmaking?
-Tracy, Frostbite Falls, MN
How observant of you! We have not been able to track down any specific connections to hip-hop, but we know that Peter recently listed “St. Lunatic” as his profession on his most recent tax statement. More news on this as it develops...
What does Peter think of Jake Gyllenhaal?
-Jake G., New York City
He finds him oddly attractive.
Has Peter ever appeared on Oprah? It's one of my favorite shows!
-Ethel, Omaha, NE
It is our understanding that pending a legal resolution, Peter is not permitted to come within 500 yards of Ms. Winfrey, Harpo Entertainment Studios, or their employees. Please direct additional questions to Mr. Sarsgaard’s legal team.
Has Peter always been such a dreamboat?
-Ashleigh, Buffalo, NY
Nope, we hear that he was actually an ugly baby. But after a lot of prayer and foundation, Peter has developed into the man we know and love. God bless Estee Lauder!
Are there any additional resources for Peter Sarsgaard information?
-Vince, Oakland, CA
Nope, we are the only shop in town. You break it, you buy it, bub!
