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      1     INT. BALDY’S OFFICE - NIGHT                              1

            SLOW ZOOM-IN

            Silhouetted in the foreground we see the bald head of a man
            wearing a creme suit and polo neck. In the background we see
            a nervous looking late twenties/early thirties man sitting
            with rapt attention and looking toward the man, accompanied
            either side, by two burly, black suited no-nonsense type
            cronies. Baldy leans forward to address him.

                                                                 CUT TO:


            The bald man seen from the front, even smiling, looks highly
            menacing, like a shark baring it’s teeth.

                          (Still smiling)
                      So, Dexter, you’re telling me you can’t
                      pay me back the fifteen grand I leant you
                      to start this car business of yours
                      because you say haven’t made a profit? I
                      dunno why you bother. 

                                                            JUMP CUT TO:

      2     INT. CAR SHOWROOM OFFICE                                 2

            ZOOMING CLOSE-UP

            We see, over Dexter’s shoulder, him holding open a ledger and
            the books balancing at ZERO profit.

                                                            JUMP CUT TO:

      3     INT. BALDY’S OFFICE                                      3

            Pauses to light a thin cigar and contemptuously blows smoke
            in DEXTER’S general direction.

                                BALDY (CONT’D)
                      So it looks like we have a bit of a
                      fuckin’ problem then don’t it? 

                                                                 CUT TO:

            SLOW ZOOM IN

            Dexter looks like he’s about to say something he’s going to
            regret, but says it anyway.

                      Yes...but it was ten grand.

                                                                 CUT TO:


                      It’s the interest you cheeky little
                      fucker! You got some nerve saying that!
                      (pauses to take another drag and a
                      mournful look) Alright then. Seeing as
                      you fancy yourself as such an ‘ardcase
                      here’s your chance to prove it and clear
                      your debt. And I’m giving you credit here
                      Dexter, seeing as we didn’t have to come
                      looking for you, so bear that in mind.

                                                            JUMP CUT TO:

            Throws a picture of a man onto the desk. There is an address
            scrawled in the corner. Down on the floor we also see what
            appears to be a large suitcase containing thousands of pounds
            in used notes.

                                                                 CUT TO:



      4     B. INT OFFICE - DAY                                      4

            Businessman sitting at a desk.

                                BALDY (CONT’D)
                      There’s a new boy in town and he’s
                      treading on me toes, taking me for a
                      right cunt, just like you ‘ave been

                                                                 CUT TO:

      5     INT. OFFICE - NIGHT                                      5


                      What do you want me to do?

                                                                 CUT TO:

      6     INT. OFFICE -  NIGHT                                     6


                      What? To avoid me putting you through the
                      wood chipper and taking your ‘ouse you

                                                            JUMP CUT TO:

      7     EXT. WOOD YARD - DAY                                     7

            One of the smiling goons from the room pushing a trousered,
            the same as Dexter’s current pair, leg, feet last into an
            industrial wood chipping machine accompanied by the sound of
            the wood chipper and the man’s screams.

                                                                 CUT TO:

      8     INT. OFFICE - NIGHT                                      8

                                BALDY (CONT’D)
                      Well, you just have to put ‘im out the
                      way Dexter, in any way you see fit. Think
                      you can do that? Got the balls for it
                      have you? (Doesn’t wait for an
                      answer)You’ve got three days. 

            Dexter begins to stand up.

                                BALDY (CONT’D)
                      Oh, one more thing Dexter. If you’re
                      thinking of doing a runner...

            Baldy motions with his hand to one of the burly men. He walks
            to a cupboard door and opens it.

                                                                 CUT TO:

      9     EXT. CUPBOARD DOOR.                                      9

            We see it open and there is a terrified looking girl standing
            there, tied and gagged, who is Dexter’s girlfriend.


            He turns angrily toward Baldy and the two men step forward.
            We see the worm has turned.

                                                                 CUT TO:

     10     INT. OFFICE - NIGHT                                     10

            Baldy still sitting and grinning chillingly.

                      Ooooh, you’ve changed your tune Dexter.
                      Amazing what a little incentive does,
                      innit!? Now, fuck off and do the job! You
                      can have her back when you prove to me
                      that you’ve done it.

                                                            JUMP CUT TO:

     11     INT. OFFICE - LATER                                     11

            Dexter walking behind a secretary into a rather plush office.
            She leaves and we see him, silhouetted, pointing a crappy
            looking gun at the elegantly dressed but distracted man who
            is standing at a window, reading a report. 

                                BUSINESS MAN
                           You’re not really going to
                           fire that thing are you?

                                                                 CUT TO:

            ZOOM IN ON DEXTER

            Dexter swallows hard, begins to sweat and, realizing what
            he’s got himself into, tries to pull the trigger but can’t.

                                                                 CUT TO:

     12     INT. OFFICE                                             12


                                BUSINESS MAN
                      Not really cut out for this sort of thing
                      are you. What’s your name?

                                                                 CUT TO:

     13     ZOOM OUT                                                13

            We see Dexter and the man, either side of the desk. The
            Businessman sits down, showing no fear whatsoever and even
            smiling to himself.


                                BUSINESS MAN (CONT’D)
                      Baldy has to have sent you! Take a seat
                      and let’s see if we can work this out.

            The Secretary reappears and calmly takes the gun from him,
            and we fast forward through Dexter getting his story across. 

                                                            JUMP CUT TO:

            CLOSE UP

            Businessman makes a call.

                                                                 CUT TO:

     14     INT. WOMEN’S INSTITUTE BUILDING                         14

            ZOOM IN 

            We zoom past a sign saying WOMEN’S INSTITUTE to a room full
            of WI women and then to an Older lady, ROSE, answering the
            phone. She recognizes the voice of her son and listens to
            what he has to say fast forwarded again. She puts the phone
            down dramatically and turns to the women. She gives them the
            story and one of them says:

                                WOMAN #2
                      Why not give Arthur a call?

                      Absolutely. Good idea Marge.

            Picks up the phone and gets through to an old codger in an
            aircraft hanger standing in front of a rather shoddy looking
            Old Tank. We hear her voice.

                      Hello old girl!  Still having the Dance
                      on Friday night?

                      Yes Arthur, and I hope you’re still
                      coming. But we have a spot of bother
                      Arthur. Busy? 

                      Never too busy for you Rose? What can I
                      do you for? 

            We just hear muffled instructions and his face change from
            jovial to serious and then he stands up after putting the
            phone down, salutes and says loudly:

                                ARTHUR (CONT’D)
                      Field Marshall Arthur Pembroke reporting
                      for duty ma’am!

                                                                 CUT TO:

     15     INT. BALDY’S OFFICE - LATER                             15

            We hear a knock at the door and Baldy looking towards it from
            what he’s doing, which is counting huge piles of cash using a
            counting machine, and the girl is in the corner being
            tormented by the other two. Actually they have her sitting on
            a chair with her soles exposed and are mercilessly tickling
            her feet with a feather duster.

                      Fuck me! That was quick Dexter. 

            Motions to one of the goons to open the door. And standing
            there is a crowd of women headed up by Rose. Dexter is behind

                      Hello! We’re collecting for the Women’s
                      Institute tonight and we thought you
                      might like to contribute.  The donations
                      are for the new Children’s Wing of the

                      No fanks luv! Don’t like kids.

            She peers over his shoulder and sees all the cash they’re
            counting on the desk, and blusters by him and enters the

                      But you’re loaded. Surely you can spare a
                      few pounds for some old ladies.

            One of them tries to stop her but is suddenly winded and
            dropped by a sudden blow to the solar plexes.

            Dexter darts forward and grabs Sharon and before the goons
            realize what’s happening they’re out the door, as is everyone
            else, pursued out into the street by the three villains,
            machine guns in hand.

     16     EXT. BRIGHTON STREET - MOMENTS LATER                    16

            We see them all pile into several cars and head toward the
            sea front. As we follow them we see the pursuit vehicle and
            Baldy and his mate hanging out the window firing the machine

                                                                 CUT TO:

     17     EXT. SIDE ROAD - MOMENTS LATER                          17

            We see them head into a side road and suddenly two trucks
            pull into the pursuit vehicle’s path, cut them off and the
            occupants get out and run off.

                                                                 CUT TO:

     18     EXT. SIDE ROAD                                          18

            Arthur and friend setting up a Bazooka/ Rocket launcher and
            aiming it at the villain’s car.

                                                                 CUT TO:

     19     EXT. SIDE ROAD                                          19

            CLOSE UP

            Arthur’s eye taking aim.

                                                                 CUT TO:

     20     EXT. SIDE ROAD                                          20

            Arthur finishes aiming and pulls the trigger. A missile
            shoots out the end of the gun and we follow it to the
            screaming faces of the villains where it explodes.

                                                                FADE TO:

     21     INT. BALLROOM - FRIDAY                                  21

            SLOW  ZOOM 

            Camera glides past a sign reading ANNUAL WOMEN’S INSTITUTE
            DINNER DANCE, and we then see couples dancing including
            Dexter and Sharon and Rose and Arthur.

            Suddenly the music stops and a speaker appears on the stage.

                      Ladies and gentlemen, we have a rather
                      special presentation for you tonight. 

            Dexter, the Businessman and the President of the WI come to
            the podium and dexter and the Businessman are holding a
            rather large cardboard check, with the amount covered up.
            They are joined by a Nurse and a little girl who is obviously
            sick, but not too sick.

                          (Trying to sound posh)
                      In the last few weeks I have been lucky
                      enough to come into contact with the WI
                      and have seen all the wonderful work they
                      do, which I was not previously aware of.
                      So together with some of my colleagues
                      from the Sussex Businessman’s Association
                      we present you with this cheque for the
                      building of the new Children’s Hospital
                      on Sussex Mount. 

            The amount is unveiled reading a cool Three Million Pounds
            and handed over to the President. 

                                                                 CUT TO:

     22     CLOSE UP                                                22

            Businessman winks at Dexter.

                                                                 CUT TO:

     23     INT. BALLROOM                                           23

            Everyone is standing up applauding and flash bulbs go off one
            after another as the music starts again.

                                                                FADE TO:

     24     INT. DANCE FLOOR - LATER                                24

            Dexter and Sharon are dancing as are the others and as they
            pass Rose and Arthur Dexter taps her on the shoulder and has
            something in his hand to give to Arthur.

                      Thanks for getting me out of trouble

                      Don’t mention it young man.

                      Oh, I almost forgot, I got you a little
                      something for later.

                      Oh yes?

            A knowing look from ARTHUR.

                      I certainly did.

            Hands over the package to Arthur whose eyes light up at the
            sight of it. He shows it to Rose and the camera sees it’s a
            huge  packet of Viagra.

                                                                 CUT TO:

     25     MEDIUM CLOSE UP                                         25

            Rose and Arthur both grinning in gleeful surprise and other
            old couples in the background notice it too and show their
            excited anticipation. The song we play out with is ‘Some
            Enchanted Evening.’

                                       THE END
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