What Lies Beneath (2000)
Grade: F
Cast: Harrison Ford, Michelle Pfeiffer, Joe Morton, Miranda Otto, James Remar, Diana Scarwid, Katharine Towne, and Amber Valleta
Director: Robert Zemekis
Rated PG-13 for thematic and scary elements


There are movies that you can't help but have high expectations for. What Lies Beneath is one of them, based on the pedigree of stars Harrison Ford ("Star Wars") and Michelle Pfeiffer ("Dangerous Liaisons," "The Story of Us"). Then, there is the director, Robert Zemekis who has made some great films ("Forrest Gump," "Back To the Future," "Contact") and some okay ones ("Death Becomes Her"). "Beneath" will not (I repeat DEFINATELY WILL NOT!!) join the former, but more likely form a new group of its own: BAD, HORRIBLE, MUST (NOT) SEE MOVIES.

Yes, contrary to what a lot of people want to believe, Beneath is a tepid film. It starts out as a boring voyeur thriller (a la 1993's trainwreck that was "Sliver"), changes to a ghost story (a la "The Sixth Sense" and the superior "Stir of Echoes"). It then moves forward into murder mystery mode, and finally, it becomes a slasher film (a la "Scream 3"). That's big problem when the film doesn't know what kind of film it wants to be. What it ended up being was a really bad mish-mash of genres and a horrible hodgepodge of Alfred Hitchcock movies...which irks me because good ole Hitch (who directed 1940's Best Picture winning "Rebecca") happens to be my favorite director.

The plot (if you can decipher one in this mess) revolves around Dr. Norman Spencer (Ford) and his wife, Claire (Pfeiffer). After sending their daughter Caitlin (Towne, who appeared in last year's Go!) off to college, Claire is left along all day long. Her mind runs wild. She begins to believe her new neighbors Warren (Remar) and Mary (Otto) are having trouble, and Warren ended up murdering Mary. What does this have to do with the plot, you ask. I don't know. Nothing, really, other than to be a cheap imitation of 1954's brilliant and perfect "Rear Window," directed by Hitchcock, or course.

Norman think all of this is hogwash and makes Claire see a psychiatrist (Joe Morton from "Blues Brothers 2000"). This, again, has no bearing on what follows. After all of this, Claire discovers that Norman had an affair with a beautiful young woman who resembles her (Valleta). Claire's psychic friend Jody (Scarwid) knew about it, but never said anything. Claire then begins to suspect that Norman killed the girl. Is she right? (If you really want to know, highlight the following text.) Of course, duh! From then on, it was standard slasher movie stuff.

Well, one thing in the film's favor is Pfeiffer's performance. She handles the inane scripting like a pro (which apparently, she is). She has the tough taks of having to change personalities ever once in a while (you'll see why). Some things, like wine, get better with age. The same is true for Pfeiffer. Sexier now, at 43, than she ever was, she has the talent to back it up. Ford, however, is, well, Ford. Scarwid is fun as Claire's friend, but that's all she's good for in the script.

One thing "What Lies Beneath" can not be called is original. Norman's name is lifted right from "Psycho," and so is an ariel shot of a bathtub. The whole subplot with the neighbors is right out of "Rear Window." The script, written by Clark Gregg, is so stupid I don't really want to talk about it, but I have to. The last 45 minutes make the whole first half totally unnecessary. The dialogue is incredibly mundane, and much of the neighbor subplot (or the whole thing, even) could've been exised to make a tighter, more thrilling picture. I only jumped once, because most of the scare tactics were very unoriginal.

There is one decent sequence where one character was being drown in a bathtub. That was the only one that was remotely suspenseful. Other than that, it's pretty ho-hum, and not even the drowning sequence can earn the film half of a star. It happens far too late in this mess, and by then, it's too little, too late.

I'll tell you what really lies beneath: a bad movie. The worst of 2000. (Yes, it's even worse than "The Skulls.") Hey, you don't have to take my word for it. But you really don't have to pay $7.50 to check your watch ever five minutes either, do you?


-Brian Jones, July 2002