Murder By Numbers (2002)
Grade: C+
Cast: Sanda Bullock, Ben Chaplin, Ryan Gosling, Michael Pitt, Chris Penn
Director: Barbet Schroeder
Rated R for violence, language, a sex scene, and drug use


Sometimes power in Hollywood is an amazing thing. If the general moviegoing public recognizes your name, you have the power to single-handedly ruin an otherwise excellent feature film. That’s what Sandra Bullock, by asking for a producing credit, has done to the at once fascinating and annoyingly meandering “Murder By Numbers”. Of course I can’t say this is a FACT, because I obviously don’t know for sure, but what probably happened was this: there was an excellent screenplay, and Bullock, not known for critical accolades, decides to accept the part and exec-produce it. In the process she asks for more screen time to raise her own benefits (including a bigger chance of commercial success). In the process, she ruins a load of promising potential.

How else, really, to explain the split personality of “Murder By Numbers”? I doubt the screenwriters that were smart enough to come up with such disturbing, real serial killer material are also dumb enough to think we care about Bullock’s character. In fact, there would be one way I could care about Bullock’s character—if they toned her down. As it is, she gets too much screen time, and all of her screen time is spent exploring clichés as if they were uncharted territory, all the while oblivious to the fact that we DO NOT CARE. Who wants to watch the heroine of “Miss Congeniality” bumble through “Se7en” territory? One of the credited taglines for the film is “The only flaw in their plan was her”. In some ways, that applies to the producers. Make no mistake; I didn’t buy a ticket to “Movie By The Numbers”.

But anyway, here is the plot of the film: there are two brilliant high schoolers pretending to be enemies at school so they will never be suspected as collaborating in the homicide they are guilty of. They have gotten together with the intent on committing the ‘perfect crime’. And it really does seem to the viewer like they may have done so. There is no motivation outside of sheer insanity; there is no evidence the boys have been dumb enough to leave. But with Sandra Bullock on the case (miscast in a role that is never really written well enough for us to care about, and not helped by Bullock), of course their crime is not perfect. I mean, is there really such thing as an Unhappy Ending when you’re in Sandra World?

That’s the irony, really; lately, happy endings make me unhappy and unhappy endings make me happy. This is rarely truer than with “Murder By Numbers”. The darkness of a story like this does not merit smiling and sunshine following the climax; even if Leopold and Loeb (the two killers are supposedly based on those two) were caught, that doesn’t make it mandatory for this film to unfold into a conclusion of embarrassing proportions. Also, I don’t think I have ever been more genuinely shocked at the special effects in a studio film. These are very, very bad. Let’s just say if there’s ever a competition of the sort, the long cliffhanging shot in this film is going to be neck-and-neck with Jimmy Stewart’s fall in “Rear Window”.

But, you know, I can take a few bad special effects. I loved “Frailty”, despite that really bad angel imagery in one scene. So it’s not exclusively the visual diarrhea that’s repelling me here. Another big issue (besides Bullock) is Ben Chaplin, who plays her partner Sam. Some may call it subtlety; I call it zombiism. I don’t care if that’s not a word. His character, on paper, is flat, and he does absolutely nothing to bring him to life. One wonders why the guy was interested in acting in the first place; if he was really interested, he would have seen enough movies to know that a performance like this is the kind of thing that does not improve anything. I have seen worse performances, sure, but most anything worse than Chaplin’s performance here is at least not quite as boring.

I haven’t dedicated much explanation to the murderers of “Murder By Numbers”. They are Richard (Ryan Gosling) and Justin (Michael Pitt). “Murder By Numbers” seems pretty dedicated to sticking to formula, and Richard and Justin are a metaphorical middle finger directed at the surrounding mediocrity. Their interaction, planning process, chemistry, restrained insanity, dialogue, and unpredictability is all fascinating. This is mostly thanks to the young actors playing Richard and Justin, especially the former. Ryan Gosling throbs with an arrogant sense of self-serving power, and the screen is alive every time he is onscreen. Whether he’s being handsomely charming or menacingly intimidating, he hits all the right notes. To a slightly lesser extent, we get a similar effect with Michael Pitt; if he is less impressive, it is mostly the fault of his less complex character.

There’s not a whole lot else I can say about “Murder By Numbers”. It is never completely inept, but it is always completely disappointing. My thoughts on Sandra Bullock are mixed. She is sometimes very, very charming, funny, and attractive. But her career choices are poor (despite its universal acceptance, “Miss Congeniality” sucks; despite its universal panning, “Speed 2” does not suck as much as people say—but it still sucks; everyone was right about “Forces of Nature”—it sucks) and I sometimes get the impression that she has too much power for her own good. This film could have been a gem, but it isn’t, and it may just be because of Bullock. By the halfway mark, I had given up on the film, knowing it would never attempt to fully enthrall me. However, I still enjoyed every moment Gosling and Pitt were onscreen—except for that one climactic special effects shot. Sorry, I’m still venting about that one.


-Alex, January 2003