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Action! Romance! Drama! All of which, you can find... in Vermont:
Time Chasers
Starring Matthew Bruch, Bonnie Pritchard, and George Woodard Written by David Giancola Directed by David Giancola American, 1993 This is another DVD I found for under $5 in a bargain bin in a random department store. The particular department store I found this movie in was an especially ratty one, so I expected to strike it rich. Sure enough, from deep inside the bin's murky abyss, I retrieved a copy of Time Chasers, a weird, amateurish, bad movie about time travel featuring an annoying hero and a clueless sidekick. It's almost like a sub-par attempt at a movie that's already been done. Despite my accurate description, the package proclaims that this movie won the Gold Award at the "Houston Worldfest". No year is given for this "victory" at whatever obscure festival it came from, nor is there a category for this award. Let's begin. We open to some credits over rather annoying music. I immediately groaned. It sounded like MIDI to me, and I hate MIDI. We are then presented with some cheap CGI of a circuit board flying past us, with the title of the movie superimposed. It was frighteningly reminiscent of Overdrawn at the Memory Bank and I wondered what I had gotten myself into. Has PBS struck again?! But that's okay, the actual movie will begin now. We briefly see a weird blue thing that fills the screen and flies past us. It's hard to describe in words, but I believe this effect was used in the opening credits of the first Dr. Who episodes. It's some camera trick. Any movie that has its special effects derived from Dr. Who is in serious trouble!  Fig. 1 - The visual effect. Next, we see a geeky-looking man's face (Matthew Bruch), illuminated by a strange light. He must be looking at the blue thing surrounding him. We suddenly cut to a small plane in flight, and the same man crying out in victory while at the same time conveniently giving us his name: Nick Miller. He's the pilot of the plane. What the hell was he flying through? He lands, and jumps out of the plane. The man has a mullet, a nasty, vicious mullet. It's all I can see. Aside from the mullet, he looks geekish and even sounds geekish. He kisses the plane, amazed by whatever it did. The mechanic watching on the ground, a guy named Marty who has ANOTHER MULLET, tries taking credit for whatever impressed the pilot so much. We see Nick reaching into the plane, and pulling out an old floppy disk from a Commodore 64 computer. Ah, that computer must have been used to do the special effects for the film. He then hands Marty an American half-dollar coin, and Marty examines it. The coin is dated 2041, and Marty is amazed. How often does the mint make a mistake like that? Meanwhile, Nick rides off on a bicycle to his house outside some small farming town. See, he doesn't own a car, but he owns a small plane. Mm hmm. He sits at his PC, sticks the disk in, and begins typing. He smiles at the computer monitor oddly. Are you trying to tell me that this man has somehow fit a computer program that gives him the power to travel through time on a floppy disk?  Fig. 2 - Our hero. Yes, next scene. Nick is laying on the couch watching TV. He's about to fall asleep when a commercial comes on. The commercial features a verrrry slimy businessman (George Woodard), talking about innovation and crap like that. He's J.K. Robinson, the CEO of Gen-Corp Industries, and he's trying to recruit innovation. He likes innovation. Ah, okay, the future of this movie is unfolding before me and I don't even need a time travel program on a floppy disk to make sure. Even the name 'Gen-Corp' has a ring of PURE EVIL to it.  Fig. 3 - Our antagonist. Apparently, this guy is responsible for double-hulled oil tankers and aviation safety. Bottom line: he's an important businessman. So we cut to the next scene, and what do we see? Why, we get to see Nick on the telephone to Gen-Corp. Even more, he's not wearing a shirt! Why is he shirtless here? Is the director trying to show us something, and do we really want to see? Maybe this movie is a striptease as well. Anyway, Nick is on the phone with Gen-Corp, telling them about this new high-efficiency fuel intake system he invented that will save fuel consumption on aircraft. The company is interested and willing to look at it. Next, Nick calls the local newspaper, The Banner, and invites them to send a reporter to cover his grandmother's 75th birthday skydive. You know, those dumb human interest stories you often see in small-town newspapers? This is one of them. Now we're just outside a hangar at a small airfield. A reporter from the newspaper drives up. Nick knows this reporter from childhood, a blonde named Lisa (Bonnie Pritchard) who wears an excessive amount of plaid. By the end of the film, we'll know her as a terrible actress in a terrible movie. They spend a few moments catching up. Nick is a physics professor at a local school, off for the summer. Another person arrives, a man named Matthew Paul, who works for Gen-Corp. Nick goes to greet him, while Lisa snoops around the plane and sees the computer equipment sitting inside it. Meanwhile, Nick and Matt discuss this new fuel intake. Matt is wearing a very strange suit. It's pink and white, and certainly isn't flattering around the waistline:  Fig. 4 - Matt in his suit. See what I mean? The way it's buttoned up, his gut hangs over even in the pink jacket. But let's focus on the movie. Lisa suddenly remembers that Nick's grandmother died when they were kids, and Nick's little ruse begins falling apart. Once inside the plane, Nick explains that there is no skydiving grandmother, and no fuel intake. The plane rolls down the runway and takes off. Once in flight, Nick takes off his headphones and tells them about his time travelling machine, or as he prefers to call it, his "time transport". Matt is angry that there's no fuel intake, and is quite unimpressed with the situation, while Lisa rolls her eyes. Matt wants to leave, but Nick sets up a demonstration. On a whim, Lisa suggests they go fifty years into the future. While he's setting this up, Nick explains how his machine works: "You see, this PC is connected to a series of molecule accelerators that are attached to the skin of the plane. The computer runs through a series of equations in about... eight picoseconds[...] The molecule accelerators charge the skin of the plane, allowing passengers to travel through time."Okay, let's see. If I stick a fork into an outlet and hang on, will I travel through time? Or do I have to be inside the fork? What does the acceleration of a molecule have to do with electrical charge, and what equations would the computer have to do? Oh, forget it! Nick goes on to say that a long duration charge on the skin of the plane will send them farther into the future than a shorter charge, and a negative polarity would send the plane back in time as opposed to forward. So they decide to head exactly fifty years into the future, September 24, 2041. So that means it's currently September 24, 1991. That's quite a long summer break for Nick the teacher, who said he was off for the summer. It must be a Vermont thing. Maybe it's a weekend... a weekend during which newspaper reporters and corporate upper-ups work. The computer counts down while Lisa tries talking Nick out of the demonstration. Special effects explode onto the screen, and Lisa and Matt look alarmed by what's happening around them. Bang! They're in the future, flying through the skies of 2041. We get to see a little picture of a futuristic skyline in a television monitor inside the plane. Of course, we don't get to see this skyline for real, only an unclear image on a computer screen. A matte painting would have blown the budget. We cut to street level. A boy in yellow tights and a black jacket is jogging down the street, talking to his mom on a hefty cellphone about returning polymers to his friend. Yes, you read that correctly. Then he gets another call and has to dump his mom. What the hell is this? 2041 sure looks like five years ago! Everybody is either walking, running, or riding a bicycle, and everyone is wearing strange clothing. One woman sits on the curb and films what's happening around her on a large videocamera. Yes, this is the future!  Fig. 5 - The future. Inside a building, a woman watches a holographic priest, who's there on behalf of the "Church of the Holy Hologram" and begging for money. Outside this building, Matt walks past, amazed by the wonders around him. Yeah, some wonders. Huge clunky cellphones, huge clunky videocameras, and plenty of brightly coloured spandex. Anyway, the building was built in 2032 and is made out of recycled material. How innovative! The three travellers enter a mall of some sort for lunch. See, the future is one giant shopping mall! Matt and Lisa laud Nick's genius. Of course, Matt doesn't understand the nature of time, thus enabling Nick to explain it to both him and the audience. He uses an analogy involving coffee and spoons. Lisa still doesn't get it. Why am I not surprised? Nick explains it again, incorporating stirring into his analogy. Unfortunately, Nick is now out of money and needs a grant from Gen-Corp to continue work. Matt now realizes the history-changing potential of the time machine. Nick suggests using the airplane to study the environment, end wars, and generally improve the world. WHAT??!! How about we take advantage of the stock market and make a billion dollars... then we can try and improve the world. Maybe if Nick did that, he wouldn't need the help of a corporation. Matt seems to think the same way that I do. He suggests making a deposit in a bank, then travelling hundreds of years into the future to collect the vast amount that has accumulated with all the interest. Putting these ideas aside, Matt agrees to take this invention to J.K. Robertson himself. The intrepid group heads back to the present. Later that day (in 1991) the plane lands at the airfield. A limo, some men, Matt, and Lisa, are waiting on the tarmac. Lisa is taking photos of everything. J.K. Robinson steps out of the plane in all his slicknes, and strikes a pose for the camera: "Everyone! This is an auspicious day in the history of the world."He goes on and sounds evil right away, buttering Nick right up. He also takes Lisa aside, asking her to be the official journalist of this project. That's because secret projects always benefit from documentation. However, Lisa won't leave her job at the newspaper. She'll stick with skydiving grandmothers and all those sort of stories. J.K. keeps trying to convince her to leave the newspaper, but she's suspicious of him and his ability to handle a project of this magnitude: Lisa: "Who said you were the right hands?"Dramatic exchange, that was. She tries to warn Nick about J.K. and the "corporate crap" that he'll be buried in, then heads off. Nick: "Why are you throwing this away?"J.K. isn't fazed, and moves on without Lisa. A guard will be kept on the plane, and he wants secrecy. Nick won't tell anyone. J.K. leaves the airfield, and Matt is now the vice-president of the company for this amazing discovery. Maybe now he can afford a better wardrobe. At the newspaper office, Lisa shows photos of Nick, J.K., and the aircraft to her editor, who is skeptical of Lisa's story. I mean, a time-travelling airplane might be pushing it. Lisa's photos aren't proof enough, and Gen-Corp is a major defence contractor, employing half the people in the town. In short, Gen-Corp is too big to investigate. Lisa is reassigned, maybe to an actual skydiving grandmother story. Nick is sitting at his computer, now without his glasses. See, this signals his change into 'hero of the film' mode, because a truly great hero can't wear glasses. He discovers that his program has been transferred to Gen-Corp computers, somehow. We also get a little peek at the computer code used to write the program:  Fig. 6 - A sample of code. Does that look like code to you? I'm no programmer, but this looks like gibberish to me. Anyway, Nick is a little confused by the transfer of his program, so he heads to the kitchen for some food. Naturally, being a bachelor, his fridge is nearly empty, and what's there is stale. Logic dictates that he heads to the grocery store. And bang! We're at the grocery store, where Nick proceeds to buy two apples. Two apples will fill an empty fridge, that's for certain. He bumps into Mrs. Heinz, a demented cookie-cutter older-woman-who-knew-your-parents-and-remembers-you-as-a-young-child. She babbles about Nick needing a nice woman in his life, while Nick seems to be doing his best job to ignore her. He then sees Lisa, shopping alone in the frozen food section. The music gets annoyingly romantic with those synthetic MIDI sounds that strangle the soundtrack. He approaches her with his shopping cart loaded with both apples, and manages somehow to wrestle a dinner date out of her a week later. So he drives to the airfield, backed up by some Romantic/Sitcomish music. He and Lisa fly back to November 10, 1957 for their date. To ensure that we know they're in the 50's, the cars parked on the streets are from that decade. They go to a ratty old diner done up in 50's-era decor like many novelty diners today, and then walk around a bit and then go home. On the plane ride forward to the 2040's, they're kissing and we get a long eyeful of Nick's butt-chin. And to think Michael Jackson is going to great lengths to have a butt-chin sculpted on his face. Why? However, when they arrive in the 2040's, they find there's a problem. The image on the screen shows buildings that look ruined. And just like before, we don't see this visage of destruction. Nick is confused. After they land, they look around. We, of course, never see the buildings on the horizon. All we get to see is Lisa's reaction, which is dulled by her lack of talent. However, Lisa assures us that the city looks like it's been bombed in a war or something. The future has been changed. Despite how dangerous the situation seems, Nick and Lisa decide to explore the wrecked city. They walk through an alley, and there's garbage and debris strewn around, but nothing much. I've seen worse alleyways in Toronto and Montreal, jeez. It's not too bad. Also, the filmmakers chose to film these shots on an overcast day, as if that would hammer home the point about this being a post-apocalyptic scene.  Fig. 7 - Lisa and Nick in the alleyway. The camera is careful to avoid shots even approaching ones of the horizon or other buildings. Meanwhile, a chubby person wearing colourful spandex watches them from a rooftop before scampering off. Uh oh, something bad is gonna happen. So there's garbage all around and everything looks smashed up. Despite this bad sign, Nick and Lisa still stupidly wander down this alleyway. Suddenly, a man wearing bright, neon colours and who looks very goofy jumps out, holding a shotgun to them. I think the director was going for some sort of psycho-weirdness, but instead this goof comes off as a high-schooler from a Molly Ringwald film who had one too many caffeine pills studying for an exam. I think I was laughing at this. I don't quite know why it was funny, but I thought it was. I guess it's just one of those things you have to see, something vaguely ridiculous. Anyway, the thug makes various weird sounds, and figures out that Nick and Lisa are time travellers, and he demands to have their transport. Nick manages to stall, until he grabs the gun and gets the thug down against the hood of a car. However, we hear many other weapons clicking and cocking, and it becomes apparent that Nick and Lisa are surrounded by thugs, aiming at them through windows in the surrounding buildings. Lisa and Nick surrender. We cut to the inside of a warehouse somewhere, all old and decrepit and broken looking. Here, Nick and Lisa meet a guy named Richter, a big burly guy with a beard which makes him scary. After more shows of weaponry, we learn that this area of the city is controlled by Richter, and that there is basically a state of anarchy everywhere. Richter wants the transport, and grabs Lisa to force Nick's hand. Nick gets as defensive as he can, but he's held off by the spazzy guy. So, captured and all, Nick and Lisa are escorted down the alleyway with Richter's men all around them. Lisa naturally complains about the situation, but then another goon named Mick shows up, and he too wants the transport. Richter gets upset, and a shootout between Richter's and Mick's men results, while Nick and Lisa get away in the confusion. Richter gets shot and dies. Mick follows Nick (hey, two nearly identical names! What are the chances?). Nick and Lisa run into yet another abandoned warehouse, up a set of stairs, and up a ladder onto a catwalk-thing. On this platform, they meet an older man in ratty clothes who urges them to be quiet. Below, Mick runs several feet into the warehouse, but can't find Nick right away. He heads up the stairs, and sees a leg in front of him, thus giving away Nick and Lisa's position. However, Mick has run out of ammo, which makes it hard to kill someone. Nick kicks (hey, that nearly rhymes!) and a knife-fight ensues. During this struggle between Nick and Mick, Lisa sort of stands around doing nothing and looking really... useless. Finally, a bright idea crosses her blonde mind, and she slams a perfectly placed door on Mick's head, knocking him out cold. She helps Nick up, and insists that they leave. More goons enter the warehouse, give a cursory look around, and then leave again. The old man comes down. His name is Riz, or something, and he asks if either Nick or Lisa have fresh water, which they don't. He then helps them out. As our exciting look into the future proceeds, Nick and Lisa meet Riz's wife/whatever, a haggardy woman, who is excited over the gun Nick brings. Riz and this woman apparently live in this... place, a dark corner somewhere. Finally, we get the inevitable explanation from Riz. He explains that the transport was at first used by the government to win wars and assassinate troublesome people, and basically control history. The "tangents" created by each action went unnoticed by everyone since the new history became the normal, correct history that everybody remembered. Is tangent the correct term for this notion? I'm sure Stephen Hawking actually coined a word for it. But the good times didn't last. In the past, the company that owned the transport started selling it to everyone, not just the government, so looters steal everything and basically deplete history of... stuff. So the looters must have been stealing lots of bicycles and spandex pants. Riz says the past changes every day now. How can he know that? A second earlier, he said nobody noticed the changes to the timeline. Nick and Lisa leave the slum. Nick blames himself for this whole mess, but then realizes that J.K. Robinson is the actual problem. The inventor becomes determined to change J.K.'s mind about selling the transport. It's a little bit late to be thinking of obvious philosophical ramifications associated with time travel and if it should fall into unscrupulous hands, but never mind. Riz is jaded by the world he lives in, and doubts anything can be done. He also seeks to kill whoever invented the time transport. If you listened a little more closely to Nick and Lisa speak, you would have had your chance to do just that. So we travel back to 1991 again. The plane lands at the airstrip. Nick's shirt is mysteriously clean again. I think all this time travelling is confusing the continuity director too. We cut to J.K.'s office, a bizarre looking affair that looks like some promenade in a shopping mall. There are weird lights that make it look like a set from The Price Is Right! Nick is on the phone with J.K., insisting on a meeting, but J.K. isn't too keen on that. However, he relents. After a helicopter ride, and then a limo ride (because Gen-Corp is just so big and powerful), Nick arrives at a rather unimpressive looking building. They walk up a set of stairs (?) to J.K.'s desk in his office. That's some office he's got there.  Fig. 8 - Lisa and Nick in J.K.'s office.  Fig. 9 - J.K. Robertson. Nick asks J.K. to cancel the project and Lisa displays some more of her acting prowess. J.K. is confused, but hiding something. He insists that he can fix it later, but will not cancel the project. Threats are made, and Nick threatens to pull out. J.K. has been to the future already, using another time machine that he's built. Apparently, the government and Gen-Corp has seized control of the project, and Nick isn't really relevant anymore. J.K. then calls security and demands that Nick and Lisa be arrested as "traitors" because they threatened him. Is treason still a chargeable offence? Nick and Lisa are escorted out, but they make a daring escape by throwing Matt (now dressed in a nice suit) at the guards and running away. Smart, real smart. They proceed to enter an elevator. Nick may be a master computer programmer, but apparently he's never seen an action movie in which they cut the power to the elevators! The guards run after the fugitives, but find the elevator empty. That's because Nick and Lisa got off on another floor, and are taking the stairs down! Diabolical! They walk/run down hallways before getting a little lost inside the building. There aren't many people around. They run up the stairs, but double-back and fool the guards. Movie guards, you know. Not too bright. Finally, Nick and Lisa escape the building. J.K. is, understandably (or not) quite upset, and orders a "shoot to kill" policy. Wow, exercising some broad powers there, aren't we? Outside, Nick and Lisa hail a taxi. They ask to drive "south", but the driver displays his plucky New Yawk accent and argues over the specificity of the direction. Yeah, we have a comedian here. Har har. They drive away. Nick decides that the way to end this is to fly into the past, and stop himself from making the presentation to J.K.... which would prevent this all from happening, and stop the movie before it really begins! Meanwhile, the driver is rambling about street systems in various American cities. They drive back into Vermont, which is apparently a long drive. I guess the movie wanted us to think that Gen-Corp is based in some large, nearby city. At the hangar, the phone rings, and Marty (remember him?) answers. He informs us that Gen-Corp has taken over the airfield, and put armed men around the planes. Nick hangs up the payphone, and re-enters the waiting taxi. He learns that Lisa explained the whole situation to the driver, but before Nick can get mad, it turns out Lisa made up a story about them having to save the fictional fuel efficiency system thingy that Nick made up earlier. The driver rants a bit about "ragheads" before they take off again. At the hangar, the taxi pulls up and the driver uses his powers of annoyance to keep the guard busy with phony kung-fu moves and stuff. I was nodding in and out of consciousness at this point in the movie. The guard, thinking he has a nutcase on his hands, calls for backup, which enables Nick and Lisa to scale the fence around the airfield. These two really transformed into action movie characters, I must say. They enter the office next to the hangar, and spot the guards around the plane. Lisa: "What would MacGuyver do?"Oh, how droll. They formulate a plan. Lisa sneaks into a plane sitting out on the tarmac, and gets on the radio, where she promptly fakes a mayday call that distracts the guy in the tower. Don't they have the ability to lock in on your position? We get to listen to the guy attempt to guide Lisa down to a landing. Fire trucks are dispatched in preparation for a rough landing. The emergency crews head out, leaving the interior of the hangar empty spare one guy whom Nick confronts. There's a bit of a fight, and it seems Nick is gonna get his ass kicked by this one guy. Lisa, meanwhile, continues the mayday ruse but slinks out of the plane and heads to the hangar, where together she and Nick subdue the guard and board the time machine plane. The music during the fight scene was way too... inspirational sounding. Meanwhile, J.K. and Matt watch the events and prepare to follow in the second time machine plane they built. Nick and Lisa prepare to travel back to the morning of the demo. Lisa has her arms around Nick, asking what will happen if they don't make it, et cetera, et cetera. There's some romance, and they head back to the past to stop the meeting... And after arriving, they are shot at by J.K., who followed them back in his plane. Now wait a minute, how did J.K. know when to go back to? He'd have to know the exact time, down to the minute! Plus, he's a damn good shot if he manages to hit another moving aircraft with a gun! It turns out Lisa has been shot, and there's blood everywhere. She's dead already, and Nick is very distraught. The plane has also been damaged. It loses speed and starts to fall. Nick fights to keep it aloft, but it's a losing battle. Passing over a lake, he opens the door and ditches the plane, leaving Lisa's body inside. At that altitude and speed, I think the impact on the water would kill Nick, or at least, break every bone in his body. The plane crashes into a hillside (though we don't actually see the crash, just the suddenly exploding and burning wreckage). Some fishermen rescue Nick from the water, but he hijacks the boat with a gun he... has... from somewhere. Above, J.K.'s plane circles, and he wants Matt to shoot the boat below. They're at least 1000 feet above the water, and Matt has to hit a moving target with a handgun? I don't think so. Matt tries to fire, but can't. He has an attack of conscience. Maybe if he wore his pink suit, he'd be able to do it. J.K. isn't pleased. Nick grounds the boat on a beach and leaves it to run into the woods while the plane flies overhead. J.K. is still pretty confident that he has a handle on the situation. Nick pants and sits down in the forest, which is every bit as green and verdant as Vermont ought to be. We can hear J.K.'s plane flying around. Nick says to himself that Lisa is still alive here (or at least, a version of her), so not all is lost. I mean, there's an endless supply of Lisas if you think about it. Elsewhere, the Nick that belongs in this time (I will call him Past-Nick) leaves his house and rides his bike to the airfield, ready to make his first demonstration to Matt that morning. He sees some smoke over the trees from the future plane that crashed, but ignores it. At the airfield, Marty is sleeping underneath a plane, and Past-Nick wakes him up. Past-Nick then spots some Gen-Corp men in a pick-up truck drive past the front gate of the airfield, called there by J.K. from the future. At the newspaper office, Lisa sits at her desk, typing. Suddenly, a new story comes in: the plane crash. Uh oh, I smell a wacky situation coming! She leaves to investigate. Future-Nick jogs breathlessly down a rural road somewhere, looking dishevelled and tired. Gen-Corp men drive past, not seeing him at first, but eventually swerving in the road and giving chase. Luckily, the bad guys are delayed by a fortuitously-timed tractor crossing the road. This extra time allows Future-Nick to run to a supply store and steal a car from the parking lot. Unfortunately, almost as soon as he steals it from its hapless owner, he drives it into a pile of boxes with some bicycles sitting next to them, causing it to flip over. The stunt causes the ramp used by the stunt-driver to become visible. This must be a big portion of the film's budget, along with the flying scenes. The driver of the flipped car starts screaming at Future-Nick. Future-Nick replies by admitting that he can't drive. Har har. What was the point of that whole car flip scene? The Gen-Corp men get around the tractor. Future-Nick grabs a bicycle and pedals down the road, followed by Gen-Corp guys who are also riding bikes. Good thing that pile of bikes was waiting right there, otherwise this chase would have stopped. Unfortunately, J.K. is driving a truck, so Future-Nick turns into the woods. The Gen-Corp men are right on his tail and he nearly bumps into J.K. a few times. The chase goes on and on through trees and fields. One of the Gen-Corp men gets thrown. Future-Nick has a gentle shoving match with the one remaining guy. Finally, Nick loses the last guy, but plunges over the side of a cliff into a body of water. He swims to shore, soaked and panting, and runs off. We cut to another rural road. Some police cars are parked there. Lisa arrives to see the crash. The plane is all crushed and smoking a little. The paint job has changed from when it was in flight. Lisa asks questions of a man with a notepad present and gets smart answers. Nobody survived: Lisa: "Any idea how old [the victim was]?"The man manages to tell her that the plane belonged to Nick. At the airfield, Past-Nick and Past-Matt land after the first demonstration. The future has already changed; Lisa was not aboard. Matt is wearing that pink suit again. Things are looking up, just like they did at the start of the movie. Just then, as Past-Matt leaves, Lisa arrives and walks up to Past-Nick. They hug, chat, but Lisa has to give Past-Nick the bad news: his grandmother's plane crashed. Ohhh, she's still operating under the skydiving grandmother story. I'll be honest, that elicited a chuckle from me. I don't know if it was supposed to, but it did. Past-Nick is confused and explains his ruse to Lisa, which confuses the situation. Even worse, he shows Lisa that the plane that supposedly crashed is the same as the one he and Matt just crawled out of. Oh no, the complications of time travel have come alive! So Lisa takes Past-Nick to the wreck, and Past-Nick is understandably confused. He takes Lisa back to the airfield and flies off with her on a time-travel trip. At that moment, Future-Nick barges into the hangar, but he's too late. The plane is gone and he doesn't know what's going on. Angry at this, he stumbles around before being caught by Future-J.K. and Future-Matt, as well as some goons. Future-J.K. reaffirms that the demonstration to Past-J.K. is still going to happen, and that they will be careful to make sure it happens as it should have with minimal changes to the future. They take Future-Nick to Future-J.K.'s time traveling plane, along with Marty who saw what just happened in the hangar. Still with me? Future-Matt holds Future-Nick and Marty at gunpoint in Future-J.K.'s plane. The controls have been set for July 7, 1777. That is incredibly dangerous. Marty has no idea what's going on. Future-Nick tries to get to Future-Matt's guilty side, asking if he's ready to kill. Meanwhile, Past-Nick and Lisa land back at the airfield. Past-Nick calls out for Marty, but he's gone. Lisa is amazed by the trip, and has to make a call to the police to see who died in the plane crash. She's just a bit alarmed when she hears that she apparently died. She lets Past-Nick know. Future-Nick et al travel into the past, in the midst of the Revolutionary War. Here, we see those guys who dress up and pretend to fight in old wars act one out for the camera. This must have been their shining moment. Frankly, these guys are the best actors in the whole movie. The American troops are gathered in a clearing, preparing for battle.  Fig. 10 - Minutemen. The airplane lands in a field. Unfortunately, one of the Americans sees the plane land... I think. The movie isn't clear about that point. Future-J.K. and Future-Matt take Future-Nick and Marty into the woods at gunpoint. While Future-J.K. and Future-Nick debate the finer points of causality, Marty sees the British encampment. Future-J.K. plans to travel forward to 1991, early enough to prevent this entire episode from happening so that the demo will occur as scheduled. They are leaving Future-Nick and Marty in 1777 because they're sure they will do no harm here. Yeah, okay, that makes a whole bunch of sense. Leave two future Americans in the middle of a pivotal time in American history. Why not leave them in the year 10,000 or something like that? Future-Nick seems to agree with me on this point, and Future-J.K. decides to kill them right there. Future-J.K. has quite the southern drawl he's trying to cover up when he speaks. Of course, Future-Matt has a problem with killing, so Future-J.K. lets him walk back to the plane. Future-J.K. then turns and shoots Matt dead. Should have worn the pink suit. Just as it looks as if Future-Nick is about to die, American Minutemen pop out of the foliage, ready to fire with their comparatively primitive weapons. They were led there by Past-Nick, who has travelled back to July 7, 1777 with Lisa in tow. Now wait just a minute! How did Past-Nick know where Future-J.K. brought Future-Nick? Is this movie going to explain that rather large plot hole? I'd say the movie has confused itself. Anyway, the Minutemen are under the assumption that Future-J.K. is a British spy. Unfortunately, not much comes of this; Future-J.K. is armed with an Uzi and cuts down all but two of the Minutemen, the latter pair running off. Marty, Lisa, and the two Nicks all split up. Future-J.K. decides to chase Marty and Future-Nick. How does Past-Nick know Future-J.K. is a bad guy? While that chase takes place, Past-Nick and Lisa stumble upon the rest of the American force located nearby. Future-J.K. chases Future-Nick, exchanging fire, before bursting out into a clearing and right into the gunsights of the American force. Past-Nick and Lisa are standing there, apparently assisting, while Future-Nick and Marty hit the deck as the army starts shooting at Future-J.K., prompting him to run back into the bushes. This is a gross perversion of history! It's a good thing we don't actually have time travel. Future-J.K. runs through the forest, leaving his jammed Uzi on the forest floor. The Americans pursue him. You really shouldn't leave that there. Back at the clearing, we get the obligatory meeting between the two Nicks and Lisa. A composite shot is used to show the two Nicks in the same frame; the line is visible in the sky, overcast on the left and spotty clouds on the right. In fact, if you look closely at Lisa, who stands too close to the divide, she goes semi-transparent on the left side. Still, it was a nice try.  Fig. 11 - The two Nicks and Lisa. Past-Nick already knows to destroy the transport. Future-Nick is overly joyed to see Lisa alive, which confuses her a little. He tries to explain the romance situation to Past-Nick, but he doesn't get it. They all head to the forest. It's time to wrap this all up. The Americans chase J.K., shooting with their muskets. J.K. finds the British forces moving about in another clearing, and warns them about the Americans on his tail. Wow, talk about a complete traitor! The Nicks and Lisa run, but Marty suddenly decides to sit down and wait for the chaos to end. Comedy relief, I guess. In the clearing, the two Nicks and Lisa spot J.K. running back to his plane. Future-Nick pulls an American general from his horse (!) while the battle between the British and the Americans rages on. Future-Nick kisses Lisa before riding off. Past-Nick watches, looking a bit uncomfortable. Would that be self-jealousy? We get to watch the re-enactors act for a little while. They must be getting a kick out of all this. J.K. climbs back into his plane and prepares to take off. Future-Nick rides the horse to the plane and tries to get inside, but gets punched in the face by J.K.. The plane rumbles down the grassy lane. Future-Nick barges in and punches J.K. out, taking control of the plane. There's more punching, and Future-Nick ends up clinging to the wing as they fly over revolution-era Vermont. Hydro poles (utility poles for the American readers out there) and modern houses with aluminum siding are visible. I'm pretty sure those didn't exist in 1777. Future-Nick struggles to get back inside the plane, and they fight. J.K. nearly shoots Future-Nick. With just seconds before the time travel sequence, the plane crashes into the trees, preventing travel and saving Future-Nick from a bullet to the head. Future-Nick wakes up first, bloody, laying on the wreck of the plane, high in a tree. He climbs down the tree carefully and slowly, the wreck threatening to fall from above him and crush him. It will fall, it's just a question of... time! Zing! Future-Nick lets go of the tree and lands, with some pain, on the ground. Future-J.K. stands up nearby from wherever he was (shouldn't they have been close to each other in the wreck?), limping towards Future-Nick. He laughs and laments on how Future-Nick really missed out on a life of wealth and prestige. Future-Nick could have travelled back to some simpler time to live out the rest of his life with Lisa, never knowing the barren future inevitably created by J.K.. Of course, Future-Nick disagrees. Future-Nick: "We're all connected, you fool! You, me... everything!"Future-J.K. has had enough, pointing a handgun at Future-Nick. This guy always seems to have a firearm on him! Future-J.K.: "Connect me to this."Future-J.K. shoots Future-Nick, apparently killing him. Right then, the wreck of the plane falls from the tree and crushes Future-J.K. So there are three guns, a plane, and two dead bodies lying in 1777. Let's hope nobody finds them. We travel through time. Back in 1991, Past-Nick (who is just Nick, now) and Marty disable the plane before meeting Past-J.K. and Past-Matt for the demonstration. Nick is supposed to be funny and introduces J.K. to Mrs. Heinz from earlier in the movie, as a new mascot for the company. Past-Matt is flabbergasted, tries to tell J.K. about the time travelling plane, but only gets himself fired. Yuk yuk yuk. J.K. drives off without Matt. Nick consoles Matt, says it's better than getting shot. Matt stands alone on the tarmac, confused. At home, Nick deletes the time travel program. It apparently comes on eight floppy disks. He checks out his fridge; it's still empty. He bikes over to the grocery store, spots Lisa shopping, wanders over to her... and so on. Before I can express terror at the notion of this movie caught in a loop, the credits roll.
THE END!!!
I don't know much about this movie. Apparently, it featured on Mystery Science Theater 3000 once, and it was written/directed by David Giancola, who was at the time a young man. This could have been his first movie. Overall, not too bad a film, but for its corny moments and gaping plot holes (like how Past-Nick knew to travel back to 1777 to save his future self from the future J.K.), I'd still call this a bad movie. The synthetic soundtrack didn't help much either; MIDI grates against me. The nail in the coffin for me, though, is the portrayal of the year 2041. Maybe it's a Vermont thing, but I don't see kids running around in spandex, talking on huge cellphones. Overall, this movie is a very ambitious but amateur attempt at a complicated story. The revolutionary re-enactors were a bit out-of-place, since anyone with any intelligence would not seek to hide people in the past, let alone that important time in the past. I got the feeling the director of this movie added the re-enactors for the sake of adding them. I also wish more effort was made in showing the skyline of the City of the Future; seeing a grainy image on a computer screen simply isn't going to cut it with me or most other people. Ditto for the scenes of devastation that happened later on. If you like men with butt-chins, women wearing plaid, or actors trying to cover up southern accents, then I suggest you sit down and watch Time Chasers. August 15, 2007 Back to main site? |