The Day the Earth Stood Still + Coronation Street =
 "Earth Menaced by Fantastic Powers" Starring Hugh McDermott, Peter Reynolds, and Patricia Laffan Written by James Eastwood and John C. Mather Directed by David MacDonald British, 1954 Yes, it's another British attempt at sci-fi. At least it's not as bad as Italian sci-fi. Starcrash, anyone? I've encountered bad British sci-fi before, and each time I was bored or confused/frustrated. This movie is a shade better. It does get a little slow and soapy in parts, but the "devil girl" makes up for it. She's so cool. We open with a shot of an old airplane in flight, which promptly explodes for no explained reason. We see the titles and credits. The movie is based on a play. A British sci-fi play?! The movie was proudly produced by "The Danzigers". The film begins on the Scottish Moors. It's supposedly winter, though you wouldn't know it by looking around. It's nighttime, and a lonely bar and hotel sits among the plains. Inside, Doris the bartender watches a kid named Tommy and listens to the radio. According to the newsreader, a meteor was sighted over England, crashing somewhere in Scotland. Mrs. Jamieson, who owns the place, enters and sends her nephew Tommy to bed. She doesn't really care about the meteor and switches the radio off. She chats with Doris. The scene feels like a soap opera, or some live-TV movie. We cut to a car on a road somewhere. Two guys are inside trying to read a map. They are Michael Carter (Hugh McDermott), a reporter, and Arnold Hennessey, an astrophysicist or something like that. The professor is looking for the meteor, while Michael is tagging along in case a story presents itself. I guess astrophysicists are prone to finding news that calls for a reporter to be right there. Anyway, they're lost, and it's the "depths of winter." The professor is skeptical about the existence of the meteor, thinking it's probably a part from an airplane. Now that's indicative of a much bigger news story. The radio then reports of a murderer named Robert Justin who just escaped from prison. I'm still stunned that a writer penned an on-stage play entitled "Devil Girl From Mars". I mean, can you believe that? And sure enough, we get to see 42 seconds of a man (Peter Reynolds), who I feel looks Scottish, running and hiding behind the occasional boulder until he comes across the bar and hotel. Uh oh, we're going to have a whole big menagerie of characters here, I know it. In the kitchen, Doris and the Jamieson couple are washing dishes and preparing for dinner or something. Mr. Jamieson seems eager to have a drink, and throughout the film Mrs. Jamieson is exerting her tight control over her husband and telling him what to do and where to go. Doris answers a knock at the door, and sure enough, Robert stumbles in, and quickly explains why he's there and how he escaped. He wants Doris to feed and house him for the night. Mrs. Jamieson enters and asks what's going on. Using his assumed name Albert Simpson, Doris quickly makes up a story about him hiking and being lost and losing his wallet in a river. To pay for his keep, Robert is willing to do some work around the kitchen. Mrs. Jamieson leaves, and Robert sits at the bar to talk with Doris. We learn that Robert was married to a woman, despite being involved with or attracted to Doris. He then killed his wife and went to jail. Doris has been writing him letters. He misses her, which is why he broke out. It's a typical soap-like melodramatic scene, and not really relevant. Enter yet another man, an employee named David who has a limp or something. Ah, the Torgo of the film. He drops off logs and leaves. Doris says David creeps her out. Doris says there's another guest staying at the hotel; a model from London named Ellen Prestwick. We cut to Ellen's room, and watch her descend the stairs and enter the bar. She meets Mr. Jamieson and they chat for a few moments about her new suit. She sounds like a commercial. Mrs. Jamieson calls Mr. Jamieson away. Ellen stands by the bar and meets Robert. He looks familiar to her. He quickly leaves. WHERE'S THE DEVIL GIRL?! We see the car pulling up to a sign. It helps them find their way to the pub. Mr. Jamieson takes a drink, and Mrs. Jamieson chastises him for it. She's the Iron Lady. As they set the table for dinner, they hear the car loudly pull up outside. The professor and Michael get out of the car. Arnold wants to keep going, but Michael is tired and wants a drink, so they agree to stop here for the night. Mr. Jamieson lets them in despite the fact that most of their rooms are closed for the winter. However, they're satisfied with having a drink at the bar. And so, everyone meets, and Arnold is informed that they're forty miles away from where they should be. Michael introduces himself in one breath to Ellen as "Carter Michael Carter" and we get to hear various introductions, and varieties of banter. Drinks are served and everything is happy and good. I'm sitting there on my couch, in a complete stupor of boredom. Perhaps the British just weren't good at science fiction back then. Arnold tells everyone that he's in the area to investigate the meteor on behalf of the government. Please, can we start the movie now? I'm dying of boredom here. Now I know what Michael was feeling: I NEED A DRINK!! We get a shot of some clouds with the sun barely able to shine through an opening in the clouds. Ellen is at the window, and she claims that she saw a flash through the clouds. Yeah, that was the sun shining in the middle of the night. Arnold dismisses it as her overactive imagination, fuelled by stories about the meteor. Everyone then assembles around the bar and more drinks are served. Supper is also ready, and everyone sits down for dinner. I hope it isn't haggis. Robert brings in the bread from the kitchen, but unfortunately for him, Michael recognizes him. Doris drops a glass and quickly retells the lame hiker story, but Michael doesn't go for it. However, just before he can tell the big secret, the inn starts shaking and a bright light pours in from outside. We see a clunky looking saucer flying overhead, making a very loud whirring sound not unlike that of a jet aircraft. The edge of the saucer spins very quickly. All in all, it's not a bad looking model. Everyone piles out of the inn to see, and they watch the saucer come to a stop and fire some kind of retrorocket that betrays the model's small size. It extends some rather phallic-looking landing legs, and then descends to the ground to make a soft landing.  Fig. 1 - The Spaceship. The whirring winds down. The bewildered humans are blinded by the brilliant saucer and try to approach, but it's white-hot and the sheer heat keeps them away. Michael runs back in and tries the telephone, but it doesn't seem to work. Nevertheless, he shouts "hello" into the phone endlessly. We see here that Mr. McDermott is skilled in the fine arts of ham and melodrama. Back inside, everyone is waiting in the bar anxiously, wondering what the saucer is and where it came from. Professor Arnold tries to explain what it could be, very reluctant to believe it's an alien craft. Doris realizes Robert has vanished, and Michael tells everyone who he really is. Hell, I would have run off too. He tries the phone again, but to no avail. Meanwhile, the saucer cools down to a red heat, and the spinning slows as well. Mr. Jamieson reports that the nearest phone is in a village seven miles away. Despite that, Michael and the Professor head to the car to try and contact the outside world. Doris walks through the inn and spots something hiding in the curtains. The music swells to titanic proportions, but it turns out only to be Robert in the curtains, and not some hideous slimy alien. He couldn't leave Doris like that. Doris hides him in some sort of attic, and suggests that he grow a moustache to evade the police. Yeah, that's a real innovative idea. She says that she's always loved him, and the music builds again. There's a kiss, and she leaves. When is the devil girl going to arrive? I'm sick of the subplot. You know what it reminds me of? The sort of crap you'd see in a play! Okay, now we cut to the saucer sitting on the ground. It seems to have cooled down now. A door on the side opens and a ramp extends. Standing in the doorway is the Devil Girl herself (Patricia Laffan), a slim leather-clad woman with a cape and a cool helmet thingy. She could complete the dominatrix outfit with a whip. She looks around, rather unimpressed with what she sees. She walks down the ramp, and Robert watches from his little window. David, the limping guy we met earlier, is outside and stumbles upon the devil girl. He suddenly falls on the ground, and the devil girl looks down at him with a smirk. He gets up and tries getting away, but is blocked by some kind of force field she has erected (tee hee!) With a ray gun of some sort, she shoots him.  Fig. 2 - The Martian and her ray gun. I've heard that this scene is rather famous, and I have indeed seen it before. She just looks so smugly evil when she fires the gun. All that's left of David are his spectacles and some steam. Not too far away (I assume), Professor Arnold and Michael try to get the car to start but can't. Everything should work, but the car simply won't work. Is it just me, or are there some unnerving parallels to "Manos" the Hands of Fate in this movie? They give up and head back in, where they find Doris seated on a barstool, staring blankly into the room, in some sort of weird trance. Arnold examines her. Apparently, she can't see or hear them. They start whispering to each other. Why? Are they afraid they'll wake her? Michael: "Something to do with that thing out there?"Suddenly, they see the devil girl standing in the doorway. She introduces herself as Nyah, from the planet Mars. She quickly belittles them, as she will do frequently in the movie, noting the professor is a poor physical specimen. Michael, being the reporter, is eager to learn about her. She can speak all Earth languages. She waves a hand in front of Doris, and Doris wakes up from her trance. Uh... why did you do that in the first place? This landing is the first Martian landing on Earth, as Nyah is testing a new kind of spaceship. She meant to land in London, but our atmosphere was thicker than expected, and so a piece of her ship fell off during entry. That means she was entering the atmosphere for several hours. Repairs will take four Earth hours. She says she is alone, but traveled with a robot called Chani. Ellen is just outside the room, listening through the door as Nyah goes over the organic composition of her spaceship. Ellen enters the room and is horrified by what she sees. She goes over her story for being on Earth as she paces about the room. Long, long ago, Martian women were in the same subjugated position as human women were in the fifties. However, the Martian feminist movement culminated in a "war between the sexes" that eventually resulted in the defeat of the men. The women won with a "perpetual motion chain reactor beam." "As fast as matter was created, it was changed by its molecular structure into the next dimension, and so destroyed itself."Professor Arnold seems surprised at the existence of a forth dimension. Had the writers done some research, they would have found that there is a forth dimension: time. Anyway, this is only the beginning of this movie's pseudoscientific babble. The men of Mars are now dying and the birthrate is falling fast, and somehow the advanced Martians have not yet invented cloning. They need new men for breeding purposes, and Nyah is here to collect some, as well as test out her experimental spaceship. She explains that if her ship can make it back to Mars, more will come to Earth. Michael speaks for men everywhere in vowing not to cooperate, but Nyah has the power to subdue all of London in the same manner she hypnotized Doris. Nyah is undoubtedly pure evil, but Professor Arnold is optimistic about the astounding scientific discoveries that can come out of Nyah's visit... if she's nice enough to share what she knows. Mrs. Jamieson enters for some comic relief, and is so shocked she leaves. Ellen follows her. In a rapid succession of panicked movements through the house, everyone learns that Nyah killed David because he was "superfluous, a hopeless specimen." so I'm guessing Mars doesn't really have much in the way of rights for the handicapped. According to Nyah, an invisible wall surrounds the inn, keeping them inside and isolating them from help. With a sweeping turn, she leaves and we get an outdoor shot of a long line on the ground, marking the location of the invisible wall. The guests are mystified and terrified. The professor heads out to try and find this invisible wall. Mrs. Jamieson offers some advice: "...whatever comes must be met with courage. Remember that, and put your trust in the Lord."To deal with this unprecedented and terrifying situation, Mrs. Jamieson volunteers to make tea for everyone. Later on, Ellen and Michael sit in an upstairs room and chat, getting to know each other. Random talk, really, the movie's effort to open up the characters to a psychological analysis. Apparently Ellen is running away, hiding in a way from a man she's in love with, while Michael is going to let his career wind down from a hectic wartime. He looks out the window, and is alarmed when he sees something. He and Ellen run downstairs in time to meet the professor entering the inn, looking roughed up. He sure found that invisible wall. It's impenetrable. Mr. Jamieson has a revolver loaded with five bullets, which haven't been fired in twenty years, and Michael insists that they shoot Nyah and end the situation. Well, speak of the Devil! Nyah breezes back in, noting the guests' silence in her presence. She watched Arnold walk into the invisible wall, and she makes her obligatory threats. "Today, it is you who learned the power of Mars... tomorrow, it will be the whole world!"She's very proud of her homeworld. If there are space-Nazis, she would be one of them. Mike raises the gun and she approaches it, not at all afraid. Michael threatens to shoot, and she replies with one line: "You fool." I loved the way she said that. If you could hear it, you'd know what I mean. It's so corny! Michael fires, and six shots come out of the gun. WTF? There were five bullets in the gun! She isn't hurt and takes the gun. You see, our "toys" can't hurt her. She makes threats and belittles humanity, and then invites the houseguests to see a demonstration of real power. Robert watches the saucer from his room. He also sees Tommy climb down the roof from his window to get a better look at the saucer. Tommy invites Robert, not questioning the stranger's presence or identity. Tommy keeps calling the saucer an "aeroplane." Robert cautions Tommy not to go, but he too scampers along the roof and climbs down a tree to get a better look at things. Down at the saucer, the door opens and the ramp extends. Nyah stands nearby, holding up a weird gun with three swizzle sticks emerging from the front. Chani the robot emerges. He's eight feet tall, very boxy, with stumpy legs and skinny arms that remain suspiciously immobile. Nyah smirks at the pathetic humans who are flabbergasted by what they see. She's enjoying her power trip. The robot lumbers down the ramp and in their general direction. It's an oversized milk carton on legs, I swear. It has what looks like a light bulb filament in a plastic box for a head. We get a shot of Chani's hinged feet. It stops and looks (I think) at a dead tree. Chani's head fires at the tree and vaporizes it, à la Gort in The Day the Earth Stood Still. It also fires at a car, and a barn, and Tommy and Robert manage to flee the vaporizing barn before they can get hurt.  Fig. 3 - Chani, Nyah, and the onlookers. Everyone has run except the professor, who stares at the robot in wonder. Chani approaches Arnold and prepares to fire, but Arnold manages to get himself out of there. The saucer closes up. However, Nyah is still outside and finds Robert and Tommy hiding in some bushes. Robert tries to protect Tommy when Nyah demands that Tommy return with her to the ship. We see close-ups of Nyah's eyes, illuminated by a band of light, as she puts a spell on Robert. Damn, this movie is cheesy! Robert stands by as she takes Tommy away, promising to show him "wonders [he's] never seen before." Robert slowly climbs back to his room. Everyone is back in the bar. Michael is pacing around, again using his great melodrama abilities to great effect by shouting that he can't believe what he's experiencing. Ellen suddenly rushes to Michael: Ellen: "Oh Michael, I'm frightened!"I have two questions. 1) What event could be worse than this?, and 2) When did Ellen become so clingy to Michael? Professor Arnold wants to get inside the ship and look around. Breaking the horrible monotony, Nyah enters, and immediately assumes they're planning to defend themselves against her. And just a moment ago, she was so sure of her superiority, what with the robot demonstration and all. Arnold uses Nyah's massive superiority complex to weasel his way onto her saucer. Nyah naturally agrees and Arnold follows her out of the inn and into the saucer, despite the worries of his fellow houseguests. They climb up the ramp, and we get a good look at the interior of the saucer. There is an utter lack of control panels or computers. In fact, the set is rather sparse, lacking even furniture. In the far wall is a compartment with a pulsating light inside. The professor notes that the ship is cool now, and Nyah explains that the interior is insulated against the heat and cold the ship flies through. You see, the cells of the organic metal can absorb heat and cold. Nyah also informs us that the ship uses "nuclear fission on a static negative condensity" for power. Whatever the hell that may mean is up to you. It's the principle of the atomic bomb in reverse, or something... hey! That's in 12 to the Moon! They get to talking about perpetual motion, another thing the Martians have mastered. Arnold: "Perpetual motion? Impossible!"They then leave the ship. Back at the inn, Michael and the other drunken saviours of humankind (there was a lot of drinking going on earlier in the film) have set up an electric wire running across the doorway which will hopefully electrocute Nyah and kill her. Michael stands by at the switch while Ellen peeks out the door to make sure Nyah enters the room first. She does, and Michael switches on the juice, but (of course) Nyah is unharmed, and she grabs the wire and pulls it apart. Martians are immune to the flow of electrons as well. They're natural insulators! Who knew? Nyah angrily mocks their efforts to kill her, and she threatens to kill Tommy if they try this monkey business again. Everyone is alarmed at the news that Nyah has Tommy as a hostage, and Nyah feels that she must demonstrate another aspect of the overwhelming Martian superiority to us pitiful savages. Doris screams, and we see Nyah start going blurry in a photographic effect. Speaking with an echo, she tells us that she's moving into the next dimension. She finally vanishes. What this means for Tommy or the others is a little unclear. Toss this into the bag, along with the mysteriously exploding airplane. Mrs. Jamieson gets all weepy and blames herself for losing Tommy. They need to get him back. Have we forgotten about what she intends to do to the citizens of London? The plot is starting to wander around. Meanwhile, Michael realizes what he feels he must do. He will trade himself for Tommy. Against Ellen's wishes, he leaves to get Tommy. Nyah meets Michael at the saucer. She lays down the base rule: he must be a willing participant in the exchange, and he says he is. Back inside, Arnold and the others talk. They hear someone at the door, and get all jumpy and afraid. It's Tommy, who doesn't seem to be afraid or startled or eve slightly affected by what he's been through. The adults are all overjoyed to see him and he retells his boring, pointless story of sitting aboard the saucer until Nyah kicked him out. Tommy mentions Robert, and Doris slinks off to check on him. Tommy never saw Michael. Mrs. Jamieson takes him upstairs to bed. Doris looks in on Robert. She keeps calling him Albert. I think she can drop the pretence now. However, he seems to be in a trance, saying that humanity will fall and the Martians will enslave us all, and stuff like that. Assuming he's under Nyah's control, Doris leaves. Michael enters the inn to say goodbye... or something. The movie is either at the saucer or at the bar. Can we have a little more variety here? It really is like a play in that regard. Anyway, Doris is worried and begs Michael to look at Robert. She keeps calling him Albert instead of Robert. What can Michael do? Anyway, why should he help a murderer? Seeming to forget that Robert is indeed a murderer, Michael agrees and heads up the stairs. He approaches the door to the attic, but Robert leaps out and they fight. They punch and grapple, the fight eventually leading downstairs. Robert gets knocked out. The fight lasted 43 seconds. Everyone helps Robert up, and Michael says that it was an unprovoked attack. I guess the writers needed to throw a fight into this movie, so they concocted this whole useless scene. Doris confesses to everyone that she's been helping Robert hide from the police, but before more answers come from her, the professor takes over the conversation and says that Nyah and her ship must be destroyed. He describes what he saw inside the ship, and the general consensus is that the "globule of energy" that powers the ship is its weakness. Nyah walks out of the saucer and towards the inn. Back and forth, back and forth... Arnold hypothesizes that the "right person" could deliver a blow to the saucer's energy source, destroying it. Nyah sweeps in to collect Michael. Ellen doesn't want Michael to go. They kiss. Stop the soap crap, JUST GO!! Nyah isn't very patient, and leaves the house with Michael. Ellen doesn't understand why Michael has gone, or at least, she won't admit to herself why. Nyah is very happy with herself. Michael again states that he is a willing participant in the trade. For an unknown reason (and there is much in this film done for unknown reasons,) she brings Chani out of the ship. However, Michael grabs the controls from Nyah and tries to sic the robot on her. Of course, Nyah doesn't look frightened, and hypnotizes Michael, allowing her to take the controls back. She stops the robot, and now she's PO'ed. She got ripped off. Shoulda stuck with the kid. Nyah takes Michael back to the inn, and once there, proudly announces that she will kill each and every person there because of all the foolishness going on. Her ship is nearly fixed, and on take-off she will use her perpetual motion beam (or something) to kill them all. Arnold jumps forward. He doesn't want to die, and offers his services as a guide for Nyah in London. Everyone is shocked at Arnold's apparent treachery, but he then says that he will go only if Nyah spares the others. This is right out of the question for Nyah. Why doesn't she just hypnotize one of them if she needs a guide? She is reluctant to take Arnold as he's apparently tried to trick her before. She leaves the inn, but she will be back. This movie has officially crashed to a complete halt.  Fig. 4 - From left to right, Michael, Ellen, Arnold, Mrs. Jamieson, Doris, and Mr. Jamieson. Arnold explains that he isn't really betraying them, but he needs to get aboard the ship to destroy the power source. He heads upstairs to try and document his findings, in case she makes it to London and the authorities need information about her ship. We cut upstairs, where Arnold is sitting at a desk and writing his findings. Oh no, we're going to watch him WRITE? He stands up and looks out at the saucer, wondering what the ship's weakness could be. Didn't you just say that it was the power source?! Ellen and Mike share another tender moment. She regrets much of her modeling life and wishes she were a more ordinary woman: a housewife with kids in the country. Because modern, independent women are bad. They kiss again, and speak of their love for one another. Love blossoms after just a few hours. Where did I put my cyanide? We cut to Robert, all tied up in a chair in the bar. Doris talks to him. He doesn't remember a thing about fighting Michael or being under Nyah's spell. She continues to call him Albert. Michael and the others enter the room. Mrs. Jamieson prepares tea, and Arnold again tells us that one of them must go with Nyah to destroy her ship before she can reach London. Mr. Jamieson and Mike volunteer, and Mike delivers some cornball lines to a horrified Ellen about being selfish and not being a good choice of man for her. I wish this movie would make up its mind. They draw cards, the highest value being the person to go. Mr. Jamieson draws a three of clubs, and Mrs. Jamieson cries. WTF? Three isn't bad! Michael "wins" the contest. Arnold tries to explain the layout of the ship to him, and for an unknown reason they all head down to the cellar in anticipation of Nyah's arrival, because it is inevitable that she will pop in briefly to taunt them. Doris and Robert remain briefly in the bar. Doris unties Robert, and we listen to his enlightened pontifications about extraterrestrial life. He doesn't think Nyah will kill them all, and he regrets murdering his wife. Thus, Robert has transmuted himself into a good guy. They kiss, and he sends Doris away. Nyah enters, and approaches Robert. She declares that he will go with her, and makes sure he is willing. Must be the dominatrix complex she has. She leads him out, and they enter the saucer. Michael leaves the cellar, which I'm sure offers sufficient protection against a perpetual motion ray beam thingy. He's surprised to see Robert with Nyah outside, and Doris tells him what happened. The saucer closes up, and takes off. Michael and Doris fall to the ground by the door, waiting for the explosion. Try the cellar! The saucer flies away and up, and nothing happens. It flies up and up, through the clouds and towards space. The sound it makes (a lot like a jet aircraft) also fades, and it gets far away. I'm turning purple holding my breath. The suspense is killing me. Will he do it, or won't he? Tune in next week. Finally, the saucer blows up in a big, expanding puff of smoke that vanishes. There is no flaming debris or anything. Everyone else enters the bar, and is relieved to learn of what happened. The phone rings, and Arnold answers. It's the telephone company, asking if there's a problem with the line. Oh, my sides are splitting. Everyone has a drink, and the music swells because the movie is finally over. Robert is listed as "Albert" in the credits! WTF?!
THE END!!!
This is really twenty minutes of movie extended and padded out to 74 minutes, and it's based on a play of all things! It really shows, as the movie is quite static, spending far too much time in the bar. This is the main problem with the film, along with the overacting and the ridiculous robot. However, I liked Nyah. When I think of evil space women, I think of Nyah. Her lines are so clichéd and she spews out such pseudoscientific drivel that I laugh when I see her. Even her name is funny. It's pronounced NY-ah, but got this unfortunate spelling that makes it fun to type. Nyah nyah nyah :p I would love to see this play. I doubt it was too successful. What this movie could have done without are the subplots; the escaped murderer who must hide, the on-the-fly "romance" between Ellen and Michael, and the unnecessary romance between Doris and Robert. The entire character of David could be eliminated, the comic relief provided by the Jamieson pair was silly (as if this movie could even come close to being serious), and Tommy was just annoying. Oh, but Nyah was cool! And Chani too! The saucer wasn't bad. I've seen much worse. I guess when a movie has but a few small sets to film in, they can save money for special effects. However, they didn't save much money, as evidenced by Chani. If you like British sci-fi, stick to 2001 or something. If you like Coronation Street, extraterrestrial superiority complexes, or killers who change their names, you'll like Devil Girl From Mars. August 7, 2004 Back to main site? |
