No More Steveisms
New Jersey Steve (12:31:59 AM): i've been thinking about the steveisms sight. it was a funny idea at first, and i liked it. but now, it's time the site stops printing new entries
New Jersey Steve (12:32:09 AM): you don't have to shut it down, but i'm ready to see new entries end.
theophilosophos (12:33:00 AM): why?
theophilosophos (12:33:05 AM): there have always been new entries
New Jersey Steve (12:33:22 AM): it's just time. the entries that already exist may stay
New Jersey Steve (12:33:26 AM): but no more new ones
theophilosophos (12:33:48 AM): ok, maybe "It's time," works for your reason for leaving Target, but it doesn't work on me
theophilosophos (12:35:59 AM): are you just saying that so I will put that on the site?
New Jersey Steve (12:36:10 AM): no, actually, i really don't want any new entries
New Jersey Steve (12:36:16 AM): that was not intended for the site.
theophilosophos (12:36:35 AM): k, cuz it's going there
New Jersey Steve (12:37:05 AM): um, you know, i would never sue you or craig, but legally, you can't use my words in such a fashion
theophilosophos (12:37:19 AM): sure I can
New Jersey Steve (12:38:09 AM): that site makes me look like a bumbling idiot
theophilosophos (12:38:57 AM): a lovable bumbling idiot though

Swingers
Steve: (searching on Google) I'm looking for a swingers club. I want to go swing dancing.

only $25
I IMed a bunch of people telling them that our DVD that just came out is just $5. But when I got to Steve, I decided to shake things up...

theophilosophos (12:09:22 AM): Do you want a Grads DVD? It's a movie I made over last summer. It's only $25, so check out the GRADS movie site and tell me if you want one.
New Jersey Steve (12:10:03 AM): $25?
theophilosophos (12:10:26 AM): yeah, that's the price of a typical DVD
theophilosophos (12:10:45 AM): how else could I make money? I put plenty of hours of work into it.
New Jersey Steve (12:11:07 AM): yea, but you me and craig were in the movie. the three of us should get it at the DVD value
New Jersey Steve (12:11:30 AM): you just said that the other day
theophilosophos (12:11:39 AM): oh, right. like I'm going to work on it and do all the editing, and buy the DVDs, and you and Craig go Scott-free?
theophilosophos (12:11:48 AM): It changed, man.
New Jersey Steve (12:12:06 AM): i know there's a punchline to all of this
New Jersey Steve (12:12:10 AM): i just don't know what it is
theophilosophos (12:12:18 AM): and the other night you ditched me. that hurt.
New Jersey Steve (12:12:28 AM): i didn't ditch you
theophilosophos (12:12:29 AM): you have no idea how much I worked on this
New Jersey Steve (12:12:35 AM): my family needed me
theophilosophos (12:13:29 AM): I guess that's ok, it didn't sound like that though. You were saying that you wouldn't go unless hundreds of people were at the premiere.
New Jersey Steve (12:14:00 AM): i meant if there were hundreds, then i would feel as though i was expected to be there, so i would try harder to rearrange my schedule then
theophilosophos (12:14:15 AM): but you wouldn't be there for us
New Jersey Steve (12:14:41 AM): i'm saying since you guys are my friends, we can see each other real easily at another time. the one of a kind event will not happen again
New Jersey Steve (12:14:56 AM): that would have been more unique
New Jersey Steve (12:15:01 AM): and rareer
theophilosophos (12:15:23 AM): it is a one-of-a-kind event regardless of how many people are there
New Jersey Steve (12:15:56 AM): the preimere with hundreds of people is like the real premiere, cause the general public is now able to see it
theophilosophos (12:16:10 AM): it's a premiere nonetheless
New Jersey Steve (12:16:23 AM): it's not the same. we're not showing off our work to the public
New Jersey Steve (12:18:23 AM): fine, as long as craig is also being charged that price
theophilosophos (12:19:13 AM): yeah, I need the money for a camcorder. The other one broke during the movie, remember?
New Jersey Steve (12:19:20 AM): true
New Jersey Steve (12:19:41 AM): well, i'm glad you're taking my advice and trying to make a profit off of it

Playing God
New Jersey Steve (9:28:51 PM): there's auditions in march for a play in my school called God. i don't know if it's just a name, or if it's actually has a character called God (it's a comedy), but i should audition for God. lol.
New Jersey Steve (9:29:17 PM): you could tell people, "This is my friend. He's God."

Seriously Funny
New Jersey Steve (7:50:02 PM): i am definitly coming this friday, with a 2ish arrival time. but here's the deal. this weekend is about forgetting my stresses. so i want no conversations about anything serious. this weekend is about fun and partying only.

Minus Simplicity
Theman093: i like to think i've come a long way since then
New Jersey Steve: we all have. we're better, wiser people for what we've experienced since then. sadly, we are minus simplicity
New Jersey Steve: wow, that's the most insightful sounding thing i've said in a long time

Craig's Paper
Craig: I'm writing a paper on the caste system of India.
Steve: Oh, is that something about money?

Jackie's Comment
JackieMac04 (3:40:39 PM): hey i was just at ur website and discover that bologna steve is dumber than i imagined. tell him his stupidity brightened my day and gave me a lot of good laughs

The Dictionary According to Steve: Part III
"Jesus' crucification"
Jesus' crucifixion

"commentate"
comment

Old People
(Steve recently quit Target... again. He's considering jobs that involve driving, which happens to be Steve's favorite hobby. He considers being a bus driver for the elderly or a mailman.)

New Jersey Steve (11:54:53 PM): i don't like old people. i crinch when i'm around a lot of disease
New Jersey Steve (11:55:17 PM): i was once forced to do "volunteer" work at a nursing home. i've been semi-germaphobic ever since
New Jersey Steve (11:59:08 PM): maybe a post office delivery man. i did pass those mail entrance exams
New Jersey Steve (12:00:07 AM): well, when you said drive the bus, i assumed you meant the ones who can't drive themselves, which would the ones close enough to dying, you just look at them, and they look like death
New Jersey Steve (12:00:20 AM): i know it sounds mean, but i can't be around that many people about to die