Old People
(Steve recently quit Target... again. He's considering jobs that involve driving, which happens to be Steve's favorite hobby. He considers being a bus driver for the elderly or a mailman.)

New Jersey Steve (11:54:53 PM): i don't like old people. i crinch when i'm around a lot of disease
New Jersey Steve (11:55:17 PM): i was once forced to do "volunteer" work at a nursing home. i've been semi-germaphobic ever since
New Jersey Steve (11:59:08 PM): maybe a post office delivery man. i did pass those mail entrance exams
New Jersey Steve (12:00:07 AM): well, when you said drive the bus, i assumed you meant the ones who can't drive themselves, which would the ones close enough to dying, you just look at them, and they look like death
New Jersey Steve (12:00:20 AM): i know it sounds mean, but i can't be around that many people about to die

Makeover
New Jersey Steve (5:58:48 PM): hey craig. today, i put gel in my hair, and wore contacts again, and i look good!
New Jersey Steve (5:58:57 PM): i was given a mini-makeover today

A Friend Reviews Steve's IM from 12-15-03
C6xr (4:39:35 PM): That's a long, uneventful Instant Message
theophilosophos (4:40:05 PM): It's a look into the inner Steve
C6xr (4:41:12 PM): I see...I stand by my previous statement nonetheless.

Balloon Fight
"They have to 'up' the age for Social Security. People are living too long now."

"I think I've learned more in the last 365 days than any other 365-day group."

"nipped it in the butt"

(Steve and I have recently been playing the NES game Balloon Fight on Game Cube.)
Steve: Oh, I came out with tenacity there.
Dave: (surprised) Steve, I think that's actually a word.
Steve: Yeah, I've heard it in basketball games before.

The Dictionary According to Steve: Part II
"allergicness"
allergies

"aloneness"
loneliness

New Year's Resolutions
Resolution 1: I'm going to royally screw things up next year- I mean not. So much for that.

Resolution 2: My new year's resolution is to have more confidence... whatever that means.

(after choking) "My air went down the wrong hole"

(after trying to use the camcorder) "I can't see anything. Oh, the lid is on!"

Steve: We didn't really have a set schedule for Grads when we filmed it. We just kind of wung it.
Dave: Is that even a word?
Steve: Yeah, it makes kinda sense.

Steve's away message on 12-15-03 and the ensuing IM conversation between Craig and Steve
New Jersey Steve's Away Message: I defer you to the away message of Toms River Steve.
Toms River Steve's Away Message: brb

Cman730 (2:59:07 PM): you mean refer
Cman730 (2:59:15 PM): defer means to give respect to
New Jersey Steve (2:59:38 PM): whoops
Cman730 (3:00:05 PM): dave said that is about to be added to the Steveisms
New Jersey Steve (3:00:16 PM): no, not true. to quote smarter child's dictionary......
New Jersey Steve (3:00:27 PM):
1. To put off; postpone. 2. To postpone the induction of (one eligible for the military draft).
Verb
intr. To procrastinate.
New Jersey Steve (3:00:38 PM): granted, i may have still used it wrong
Cman730 (3:00:39 PM): still doesn't makes sense
Cman730 (3:00:50 PM): yeah
New Jersey Steve (3:00:58 PM): we're both equally wrong
Cman730 (3:01:18 PM): nono you more so
New Jersey Steve (3:01:41 PM): ok, i'll agree to 63% of the blame
Cman730 (3:01:46 PM): cause refer is definately right... to quote the American Heritage Dictionary
New Jersey Steve (3:02:02 PM): yes, but you're meaning of defer was wrong also
Cman730 (3:02:21 PM): defer - to submit to the opinion wishes or decsions of another
New Jersey Steve (3:02:33 PM): not according to smarter child
Cman730 (3:02:44 PM): the second definition
New Jersey Steve (3:02:46 PM): i agree to 63% of the blame. that's my final offer
Cman730 (3:03:02 PM): 77% take it or leave it
Cman730 (3:03:11 PM): dave says he isn't wrong
New Jersey Steve (3:03:25 PM): i have integrity. i will not let myself get tagged for more then 63% without due process
New Jersey Steve (3:03:50 PM): you guys can split the remaining 37% between you two, giving me the hugest chunk of all
New Jersey Steve (3:04:01 PM): and then you both, individually, are minimally wrong
Cman730 (3:05:22 PM): American Heritage Dictionary is the be all and end all..... unless you want to "defer" to Webster's
New Jersey Steve (3:05:44 PM): ok, tell me american heritage dictionary's definition
New Jersey Steve (3:05:49 PM): then maybe i'll change my percent
Cman730 (3:06:47 PM): we just told you defer (2) - to submit to the opiions, wishes, or desires of another
New Jersey Steve (3:07:11 PM): then i'm right. i defer you to the other away message. meaning read the away message for the right opinion
Cman730 (3:08:04 PM): no
Cman730 (3:08:20 PM): i don't think that will hold in court
Cman730 (3:08:25 PM): unless you have johnny cochran
New Jersey Steve (3:08:47 PM): i'm not wrong
New Jersey Steve (3:08:49 PM): and i take back my 63% offer
New Jersey Steve (3:08:51 PM): lol
Cman730 (3:08:58 PM): calm down steve
New Jersey Steve (3:09:02 PM): i offer you 39% fault. that's my last offer. take it or leave it
New Jersey Steve (3:09:13 PM): I AM CALM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >:o
New Jersey Steve (3:09:58 PM): what now!
Cman730 (3:10:52 PM): calm down steve
New Jersey Steve (3:11:02 PM): arrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh
New Jersey Steve (3:11:06 PM): i win!
Cman730 (3:11:31 PM): no dude you are still wrong
New Jersey Steve (3:11:43 PM): i contend i'm right. and i can't be wrong if i don't admit to that
New Jersey Steve (3:11:48 PM): i used that word properly
New Jersey Steve (3:12:00 PM): by deferying (meaning getting the other opinon) of the other away message
Cman730 (3:13:25 PM): Deferring to
Cman730 (3:13:32 PM): and you mean referring
New Jersey Steve (3:13:43 PM): dave is checking with an english major
Cman730 (3:13:50 PM): ex. I referred to the dictionary to get the definition
New Jersey Steve (3:14:00 PM): example:
Cman730 (3:14:06 PM): ask cristina
New Jersey Steve (3:14:08 PM): i deffered to the knowledge of the encyclopedia
New Jersey Steve (3:14:21 PM): she's an english major?
New Jersey Steve (3:15:29 PM): well, you guys fi
nd out an answer, and get back to me. i gotta go study
Cman730 (3:15:48 PM): ok she'll Im you
New Jersey Steve (3:20:08 PM): today's horoscope has predicted this.....
New Jersey Steve (3:20:23 PM): hold on, i gotta find it
Cman730 (3:20:49 PM): good horoscope
New Jersey Steve (3:21:14 PM): Everybody thought Cancer would fall apart, but you're made of stronger stuff. The stars show you to be a clear thinker and a precise speaker. Map the course of a charge that someone else will lead.
Cman730 (3:21:51 PM): oh cool?
New Jersey Steve (3:22:37 PM): just a little weird
Cman730 (3:23:03 PM): oh
New Jersey Steve (3:25:10 PM): well, i'm giving up. i'm hungry, so thus, have no will to argue. i will walk away and admit 49% fault. you can give the remaining 51% to anyone you want, but me. you can even spread it out, so i still have the majority fault
Cman730 (3:25:23 PM): no way
Cman730 (3:25:35 PM): 65% / 35% final
New Jersey Steve (3:25:39 PM): well, i will accept no more. so if i don't accept it, then there is no fault
New Jersey Steve (3:25:48 PM): i'll take 55%
New Jersey Steve (3:25:51 PM): that's a nice medium
New Jersey Steve (3:26:03 PM): (extends hand shake)
Cman730 (3:26:30 PM): ok fine i DEFER to your offer
New Jersey Steve (3:26:52 PM): whatever. at least it's over. i agree to 55%, and more then half, of the blame
Cman730 (3:27:00 PM): good

New Jersey Steve's AIM
New Jersey Steve's Away Message: I defer you to the away message of Toms River Steve.

Toms River Steve's Away Message: brb

Steveisms up to 12/15/03
"plastically wrapped"
saran wrapped

"tunnelway"
tunnel

"allergicness"
allergies

"Sangsun"
Samsung

"food place"
restaurant