DREAMS





Nov 2004- I am FINALLY moving to Kensington Dec 1st with my friend Gary, yet another goal almost accomplished.

I sent a massive email cause that's what I do, explaining that I'll only use my parents address and my cell phone as a permenant means of communication cause I'm bound to move again, and I'm tired of sending a new address and number all the time.

I dyed my hair to a Auburn Reddish Color with Blonde Streaks, back to tanning 10 mins everyday, and I've been taking care of myself.

According to my "FAMILY" I've developed an eating disorder, apparently I won't eat for 3 days but drink water and then when I do eat have only ate extremely healthy stuff and eat only 1-2 meals when I do eat. I guess that's an Eating Disorder, but when your busy, not hungry and can't cook what do you expect.

So I have changed my ways I try to eat everyday still healthy of course and I go for my one hour walks everynight. I only started walking, cause I like it, I need sometime for myself and it is a form of exercise where I find peace and quiet along the Bow River. I got back into Pilates (no chanting Yoga for me thanks) and I'm trying to divide my time enjoying dance and the gym cause that's what I love.

When I'm finally settled with my place, I'll have time for guitar again it has been awhile. I'm realising you have to keep doing the things that make you happy and that represent you if not you'll regret it and lose who you are.

I had alot of fun in my last film course I took, I met 12 amazing, diverse people and enjoyed the group I was in being the only girl, I'm going to miss Weds nights and everything we got to do. My Oscar Award was for Best Supporting Actress and without my co-stars and group that would have never happened. Thank You Ron, Mike, Dave & Dan for making it happen, Class Reunion and Tim Hortons is still on it's way.

I quit smoking and I'm proud of myself after all these years, Yes my whole family and I mean my whole family found out cause I told them finally after 10 years and they just accepted it. But now I've quit, and there all as proud as I am. Kick the habit, if you can my fellow smokers.

I've been looking into more schooling, my dream and passion is film and always will be my first love this is my main career choice, but I have always had being a bartender, fitness instuctor and missionary worker in the back of my mind as well as a Hair Dresser and Esthetics Technician. I guess I can do whatever I really want though moneys tight and I may still do it all, I'm just looking into everything I do love and I'll keep ya updated with what I do decide to pursue.

I had to battle alot of personal things in the last while and for those that know Thank God everything turned out. I've opened my eyes to how short life can really be and I'm greatful to have a great support team. I now know 2 doctors are better than 1 and I'm seeing them more regularly cause without a healthy body how will I accomplish all I truly want to do.

Best advice Male or Female go see your doctors, get all your tests and save yourselves and others from heartache. Sexually Active People if you ever want the same respect and love from others being faithful, honest and checked for STD's could save you and your partner, not alot of young people get checked regularly and risk the chance of hurting themselves or others, it's free and nothings stopping you from doing what's right for the good of mankind.

I want to Mother the world, I'm a humanitarian and I'm on a mission. I can only do so much, but I do my part and having a BIG compassionate heart I realise how unfortunate other people and animals really are and how much we take for granted, our beautiful earth. I'm not ready for the change of going and doing missionary work overseas, but I realise that if I go I'd come back a changed person and others should be aware of what's really important in our world and how we live life is nothing in comparison as how others live.

This is what breaks my heart and since I was 4 years old, my Mo taught me to give everyone a chance no matter if there perfect or not, this is why my friendships are diverse, I talk and help every homeless person I see and treat every human and animal with respect and love. God gave me a voice which I use to maximum compasity and I'll distribute my knowledge with all my heart and soul cause it's not just about ourselves it's about our world and all that's in it. Just look at what a small gesture of kindness can do in the long run.

God Bless Mother Teresa, Princess Di and everyone who has and still does there unselfish part.

I've become open about my religion I'll never force it, I just know what I truly believe and I will find a church soon enough. I pray for everyone on this earth and Thank God and Jesus for all there sacrifices. I have faith, love and forgiveness in my heart and soul. God Bless You All!!!

I know in my heart what's important and I'm finding my way on this journey through life. I'm doing what I love and I'm not losing myself in the process, just growing and becoming the most I can be in this beautiful world with what I have to offer.

I'm not perfect and I make mistakes but I'm real and this is me. One day I'll have someone that understands and will share my intentions and life with. I forgive you and love you whether you've broken me or supported along the way. I'm still me and that's all I'm gonna be. Take It Easy, I'm always here, and You'll hear more next month.

* People change all for good reason we're still all ourselves but we grow with each passing day Life is too short, Do what's meant to be done.*

Maturity begins to grow when you can sense your concern for others outweighing your concern for yourself.

There came a time when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.