The Further Adventures of Piccolo:
By Camden Natysin, The Bane of Your ExistenceDisclaimer: I don't own DBZ, you cretins! Although I do own John Carpenter's The Thing, and Prince of Darkness on DVD. If you haven't seen 'em, look 'em up. They're both great movies! But why the Hell am I still talking about this?!
(Note: This is a sequel to my movie-reference ridden "masterpiece" Alcoholics Anonymous-The Story of Cell, which may be one of my most poorly written stories. I hope to correct that fault with this next saga.)
Part I-How Piccolo Got His Groove Back
Piccolo sat by in a daze, soaking in the fact that Cell was finally dead.
“Let’s see here…I had to go to Alcoholics Anonymous, I got my ass handed to me by Cell, and, to top it all off, I’m going to be in a shounen-ai relationship with Trunks in a few years!!!” Piccolo cried, outraged.
Piccolo reached into his pants pocket, and pulled out a bottle of whiskey. He took off cap, took a large swig of the firewater, and did likewise over and over again until it was empty.
He let the empty vessel fall to the sandy ground.
“I…I’ve lost my edge…” he finally admitted to himself. He then looked at the bottle. “And my whiskey!”
Gohan looked at him sympathetically, and placed his hand on Piccolo’s shoulder.
“No, you haven’t. In fact, if it hadn’t been for you, we would never have defeated Cell at all!” Gohan said, trying to cheer him up.
He batted Gohan’s hand away.
“No!!!…It’s the same thing every time.” He said. “I buy Goku time, I lend some of my power, I get my ass kicked…it’s that way with every super-powered villain! Vegeta, Freeza, the Androids, Cell, Majin Buu…”
He stood up.
“I have to get my groove back.” He realized. “But I’ll need the help of my main man Cooler.”
And with that, he took off, flying to some unknown part of this world as his cape fluttered behind him.
Gohan watched his mentor disappear over the horizon.
“I wonder if Alcoholics Anonymous wasn’t the only treatment he needed…” Gohan said quietly.
-End of Part I-
(Note: The next chapter will undoubtedly confuse certain individuals, and possibly give them the insatiable urge to watch Paul Newman movies. Namely 'The Hustler', Kemosabe.)
