PAGE ONE
PAGE TWO
PAGE THREE
WOODLACE
PATTY DUKE
BLOG
GUESTBOOK
JAYME
TRANSAMERICA
MY SPACE
When I was eleven years old, my breasts began developing. I was delighted, of course, because I felt that Nature was
asserting itself and trying to right a wrong. No one else, however, was pleased in the least. My family physician put me on a grossly
unethical treatment of chemical mutilation which offered no solutions but created a myriad of new problems to compound the old ones. One of the most devastating of these was
the manifestation of bi-polarity which plagued me for twenty years and put me and all those around me through hell. My first suicide attempt was at eleven years
of age. They didn't stop for a very long time. Luckily, as I'm sure you've surmised, they were unsucessful.
I have written the story of my childhood, my tortured adolescence and my journey to try and understand who -- and most importantly, what -- I was in a book entitled Sugar And Spice And Puppy Dog's Tails: Growing Up Intersexed. Such horrifying details as my incarceration in a mental hospital at the age of thirteen are explored, along with sordid stories of multiple rapes, incest and kidnapping. However, my story also has a number of highs as well: learning to live with a genius I.Q., being a musical prodigy as a child, making my first movie, meeting celebrities, etc. All in all, it is a remarkable life. The mere fact I survived to tell the tale is a testament to the stamina of the human spirit. Today, I can happily say that I became what I most wanted to be: an actress on film, in television and on stage, a singer -- and most of all -- a writer.
I am happy to announce that Sugar and Spice is available for purchase as a trade paperback book. You can order Sugar and Spice and Puppy Dog Tails through Amazon, Barnes and Noble , Other Books.com or directly from the publisher, Booklocker. (If you order it here, you can also save $5.00!) In addition, you can still purchase it as an e-book which comes to you fully unabridged and lavishly illustrated with personal photographs in Acrobat PDF format. (If you don't have Acrobat, click here to download the Acrobat Reader for free!) The price is $12.95 for the Acrobat download edition. All you have to do to find out more is go to Booklocker!
One of the most enjoyable points of my career also produced one of my
favorite pictures of myself. This was in the autumn of 1986 when I was lucky enough
to be one of Joe Bob Briggs' infamous Dancing Bovina Sisters. This picture was
taken prior to our first show. I'm the one on top. Of course.
This photo was taken by Lynnell Stephani Long in one of the green rooms prior to a taping of a Montel Williams episode dealing with growing up intersexed. Thank you, Lynnell!
Her son, Jayme Monjardim, is an important television director in Brazil. He was also the first man I ever fell in love with as an adult. Although we haven't had contact for many years, I recently searched the web and found a plethora of photographs of him, as a child and an adult.
I don't think one ever forgets one's first love. And even though ours wasn't a relationship that blossomed, seeing him again filled me with admiration and that wonderful bittersweet warmth of times past and youthful passions remembered. Our time together was a decidedly fairy-tale adventure, complete with a wicked witch! Jayme was the only man I loved who never knew about my intersexed condition. I recently found an e-mail address for him and sent him mail, including a link to this website. I hope he reads this and understands why I could never tell him.
If you'd like to see the pictorial slideshow I've put together of him, just click here.
The slideshow requires RealPlayer. If you don't have it, no problem. Just click here.
A less-than-flattering photo of me at the March, 2002 reunion screening of "Grief" in Los Angeles. I actually "outted" myself as intersexed in the question and answer period after the film in front of 300 people. Quite an experience! Pictured: Jackie Beat, Alexis Arquette, me, director Richard Glatzer, Carlton Wilborn and Mickey Cottrell.
Update
I originally designed this site in 2000, a few months prior to the release of my book. Because of numerous e-mails asking if everything here was still up to date, I wanted to add a post-script. No, things have changed greatly. Shortly after appearing on the Montel show in April of 2002, I got married. I met a truly exceptional man (because one would have to be to be with me!) and I've been in a near-constant state of bliss ever since. In the summer of 2002, we left Hollywood and California permanently. I suppose for all intents and purposes I have "retired" from performing. Something I never thought I would do! We purchased our first home together in April of 2004, somewhere in mid-America. We're off in the country, with four full seasons and all kinds of assorted pleasures. After 15 years in Los Angeles and New York, being "away from it all" was precisely what I needed. Of course, no one's life is free from strife. For instance, last year alone my father suffered a massive stroke and died after spending ten days in a coma. Three months (to the day!) later, my mother suffered a stroke as well. She survived basically intact, to my relief. I even felt it necessary to turn down a role in Craig Chester's film Adam and Steve at the end of summer. I didn't feel I couldn't take the time away from our pets, our home, taking care of Mother's cat here at our house while she recuperates and worry over my mom's condition in general to go back to L.A -- even for a few days. (It was just the kind of part I attract -- one scene, which if played right, steals the show. Or gets left on the cutting room floor. As it turned out, it WAS cut from the film but was included on the DVD in the Extras.) It turned out to be a wonderful film and I've never been more proud of my friend Craig as I was when we watched the film on a messenger-delivered DVD; oh, the advantages of being "Hollywood" even after you leave California! I made the right decision by not doing it...but I also wish I had. Typical of me, I suppose. How lucky I am that my husband's love, presence and support made surviving it all so much more bearable than it might have been otherwise. After pursuing so many years of excitement and achievement, I have finally found what had eluded me all those years: peace, contentment and serenity. Since then, our lives have been quiet and mundane. If someone had told me in 1999 that I would embrace that kind of existence with joy and with exultation, I'd have told them they were crazy.But they wouldn't be -- they'd be right. Each year adds more layers of happiness and a feeling of fulfillment I didn't think I'd ever find. And it's wonderful!
I've been a smoker since the age of fourteen. Over the years, I've tried just about every method of smoke cessation; sometimes my attempts were half-hearted, sometimes not. Nothing worked for more than a few months.
Finally, in the summer of 2008, my husband and I kicked the habit for real. But it's been very, very hard in times of stress. I found myself missing the physical act of drawing smoke into my lungs and then exhaling. I almost cheated and fell off the tobacco wagon -- and more than a few times.
Then I learned about Blu Electronic Cigarettes. I find them fantastic. They're everything I wanted in a smoke cessation/substitute but had never found. Until now. If you live in the United States, want to stop smoking or just want something decent to have when smoking is prohibited (and these days, that's just about everywhere!), think about trying Blu. They have my heartiest of endorsements!
