Ashton Kutcher and Seann William Scott are the main characters in the movie "Dude, Where's My Car?". As the movie is now out on video, anyone who hasn't seen it already probably won't by now anyway. So here are some thoughts about it.
Those who have read my work or have chatted with me know who and what I am. Suffice it to say that Kutcher and Scott are painfully attractive guys (I don't think that's too strong a word). When Kutcher and Scott are in their (respectively) red and blue Adidas track suits, I found them very hot. In one scene, Kutcher was doing a little bit of mock rapping at a party and I found him very loose-limbed. Oh, man!....
One of the best scenes in the movie is where Kutcher, Scott, and a pot-smoking Yoda-speaking yoga-hippie friend drive into a drive-through Chinese food take-out. Kutcher speaks into the order-taking box. After "What you want?" from the box (sounding like a typical older Chinese lady), Kutcher proceeds to give the order and the box comes back with "And then...?" Kutcher continues to give the other guys' orders. "And then...?" the box says. Kutcher repeats. "And then...?" Kutcher gets a bit pissed: "And then we're going to eat it!" "And then...?" You get the picture. The box repeats and repeats "And then...?". Kutcher gets increasingly pissed off until his brain short-circuits and, using his fists and hands, smashes and pulls the mechanical box to dangling metal, wires, and loudspeaker. They drive off without a meal. And voilą, a textbook example of "mechanical thinking" described by philosophers P.D. Ouspensky and G.I. Gurdjieff. Kind of like a child asking "Why?" to a parent continuously. The parent answers a question and the child asks "Why?" again after each answer. Our minds aren't built for continuous answers, mainly because no one has them all and no one has the time. It's conceivable such a child (and the mechanical speaker box) would continue asking the same question for all eternity until the answerer eventually brought such questioning to a halt sooner or later. Mechanical thinking simply means a repetition or jumping to conclusion--"following the path of least resistance". It's pathetic and has to be broken eventually by a stronger will.
The reason I bought the movie (besides ogling beautiful Kutcher and Scott simply as they are) was a tip I picked up in one of the Yahoo clubs that said Kutcher and Scott kissed in the movie. But no one said why. So I had to find out. In one scene, Kutcher and Scott drive up beside a couple in another car on the road. In the other car is Fabio--aging heterosexual male icon--and his girlfriend. Kutcher and Fabio engage in a variety of macho tactics: revving the car, looking mean. Fabio kisses his girlfriend. So, what happens? Kutcher and Scott kiss in their car (and whew, that kiss alone was worth the cost of the video). The sad thing is: the girl model hides her face in disgust and they drive off. Kutcher and Scott, too stupid to believe that the girl thought they were gay, look very pleased with themselves with the attitude "Guess we showed THEM!" This and another later instance of Kutcher describing two male aliens in tight leather and Swedish accents as "totally gay" left me depressed. Still, don't fault the producers. The two male aliens DID look like gay nightclubbers--a little too perfect, a little too overtly model-type, unusual tight-fitting clothes. I don't identify with the look at all. But stereotype dies hard, even in the GAY community! One doesn't know which is worse: straight or gay stereotypes! The movie was rife with them, though the ending showed some clever writing.
Perhaps it would be more accurate to describe "Dude, Where's My Car?" simply as fantasy and as art, so who can judge it, since all opinion must be subjective. Like religion, you take from it what you want like a buffet and leave the rest (oh come on now, everyone does that--no one can swallow a feast or a religion holus bolus). You take those images you like and try to forget the rest. Or perhaps it's healthier to say the movie is simply a fantasy by writer Philip Stark (or the fantasies OF Philip Stark, perhaps that's closer to the mark?) and a reflection of current culture, aspirations, and morality--particularly sexual morality. Since the latter is done in the spirit of older movies like "Porky's" and "Animal House", one shouldn't expect much.
Heinlein wrote about the idea of comedy in "Stranger In A Strange Land" describing it more to do with pain than pleasure. Something to think about. I know I did.
The movie seems to be saying, "Don't be a stoner. You'll wind up like these pathetic guys." Which seemingly is a positive moral. But continuing, if you ARE like these guys, the movie seems to be saying that things will work out in the end anyway, so why sweat it?
(Needless to say, I don't think I'll be posting this review in any Ashton Kutcher Yahoo fan club. It's membership is mostly teenage girls, which I suppose is to be expected. Where do you think I got the tip about Kutcher and Scott kissing?)
Now, why am I posting this here in THIS club?At the end, the male aliens (who may or may not be gay) give the Kutcher and Scott characters a gift for their girlfriends. They are jewelled headbands which expand the girls' breasts (one doesn't know if it's a permanent or temporary transformation). It's certainly a fantasy (for both straight males and girls).
Would I recommend the movie? If I were a Vulcan, I would say, "Dispense with the whole thing. And be a better man for it." But I'm not a Vulcan, but a human being with emotions, desires, fetishes. I suppose it depends on the level of cognitive dissonance you're willing to put up with. Or in other words, the level of stereotype you're willing to live with before it pisses you off or breaks your heart (depending on your temperament).
The Holy Insurgent of Uncertainty
c2001
